Christmas will be really cold next year

Christmas was low-key.  Our big goal was the acquisition of the perfect blue bicycle, accomplished by the grandparents, who went straight to their Wal-Mart when we located the bike in their local store.  It is no sacrifice that Tyoma's biggest and most exciting gift comes from Santa rather than us - he's so into the whole Santa thing.  While the rest of us enjoyed a huge seafood Christmas Eve dinner, D was running around trying to find a new inner tube to replace the one that had already broken (pretty sure Wal-Mart gave us the bike knowing the tire was bad).  What a good Dad!  He wanted the presentation of the bike under the tree to be perfect, and it was. 

After two weeks off, I think we were all ready for preschool to start again.  I'm so happy with our preschool and all the amazing and creative things they do and make.  I could never imagine these crafts, let alone make them correctly (see my previous post about cookies). 

Tyoma has been labeled a "smart cookie," by his preschool teacher, and quotes it all the time...our first parent/teacher conference is in two weeks, and I'm looking forward to that. 

Since we found out last week that we're relocating to Toronto, Tyoma has been talking it up at school and has advised his teachers that we're getting a new house (true), with a pool (obviously not true), and that it will take us ten minutes to get there (Toronto).  When you're three, ten minutes probably feels about like 12 hours.  We're glad he's excited about this.  He really, really wants a yard (as do we, now that he's here), but of course he has no understanding of the time it will take between now and when we actually move at the end of the year.  Between now and then we have a lot to do and a lot of traveling to plan.  Disney sometime this fall?....

Christmas so far, or: How everything I cook turns into a disaster

Last weekend we attended what is known as "family Christmas," which is not actually held on Christmas but is attended by an awfully large group of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on D's dad's side.  I think there were 28 people there.  We traveled to Texas to see everyone and allow Tyoma to be spoiled by pretty much everyone.  It was a really nice visit.  But I forgot the camera.

Last Friday a large group of family came in to attend Tyoma's first ever Christmas program.  I had been looking forward to this day since I enrolled him in preschool.  How fondly I remember my own programs, not to mention those of my sister (particularly the one in which I laughed until I cried at the little girl who did everything her own way).  Tyoma was dressed as an angel and participated (I can't really say sang) in three songs which were accompanied by something resembling sign language.  It seemed a bit ambitious for two-to-four-year-olds, but it was quite enjoyable.

 

It's a bit blurry because my sister was in charge of the camera and was shaking with giggles the whole time, not to mention that you have to turn your monitor sideways to watch the video.  Ummm, yeah, his halo fell down.

Then we attended storytime at the House of Sweden, which is part of the Swedish Embassy.  They have a lot of holiday activities and displays.  This is Tyoma playing in a little house built to represent the country homes beloved by the Swedish people.  The House of Sweden is just super cool, by the way.  I dig Scandinavians and all things Ikea.

We also visited the nearby National Harbor, which is nicely decorated.  This is just a great photo.

Then I made the mistake of trying to bake cookies.  Tyoma has an epic sweet tooth.  And while we were not really a baking family growing up, I figured it couldn't be that hard to roll out some store-bought dough, make shapes with cookie cutters, and throw it in the oven, right?

Well, the three different blobs there represent snowmen, angels, and gingerbread men, and if you can tell them apart, you are a better person than I.  I literally cannot cook.  I have above average intelligence and have done and accomplished what I consider to be many interesting things in my life, but I cannot freaking bake a cookie.  (There is also one turkey up there - a leftover idea from Thanksgiving that I never got around to.)

Surprisingly enough, the ziploc-bag-as-frosting-piper worked pretty well.  Which I wouldn't have expected since cookie cutters are apparently beyond me.  And since the cookies themselves looked like crap, I just threw the frosting on.  It kind of outlines the angels' wings, but I wasn't really trying anymore at that point.

And today we tried ice skating.  I used to do it several times a year, but it's been about twenty years since I hit the ice...it was still fun.  Tyoma made a good effort but was finished after 15 minutes.  He's good at trying things and had a good attitude about it.

Finally, regarding the raffle:  we were thrilled to raise over $2300, which should be about 10% (perhaps less) of the cost of the adoption to which we are contributing.  So a drop in the bucket in a way, but still very helpful to the couple who received the grant.  I spoke to the mother-to-be last night, and she was thrilled, which made me very happy to have accomplished this.

It's very important that while we're spoiling our little ones this Christmas, we not forget the majority of orphans who are still waiting.  There is always more we can do.

A month later

Since I last posted, we finished our raffle and were thrilled to raise $2336!  We were hoping to give a $2000 grant, so we're very happy with how this turned out, and we already have excellent candidates to receive the money. 

We are very appreciative of all our friends, family, and co-workers who contributed to this.  It's very important to us that we continue to support children seeking adoptive families.  If you want to do something, you should check out www.twoheartsforhope.org or www.lrosier.giving.officelive.com.  Both of these links will take you to organizations that do a great deal for children in orphanages.  Two Hearts just completed a drive to collect Christmas gifts for two orphanages in Russia and Kazakhstan - they ensured each child received a gift.  It doesn't sound like much, but you have to remember that the children in orphanages have almost no Christmas celebration and would certainly not receive anything special for themselves.     

The second link is for the Antares Foundation, which also collects donations.  The last time I was in contact with them, they said they are always collecting donations to send to Kazakhstan, but what they really need are cash donations.  It just makes more sense to buy what is needed over there than to buy it here and ship it.

Antares also gives you the opportunity to sponsor an orphan or a group of orphans by sending them gifts or letters.  I think this is a great idea.  It's really strengthening for the children to receive a letter from someone who cares about them as an individual.  They crave that special attention.  The small things that we don't even notice mean a great deal to them.  For instance:  Antares instructs those who send clothing to their sponsored kids to leave the tags on.  Why?  Because they never get new clothes.  They like to see the tags.  They KEEP the tags.  If that doesn't move you, I don't know what will.

I tell you these things because I can't help them all, but I would like to encourage other people, people who haven't adopted but who have compassion, to do a little something for these children.  My baby used to be there, one of those kids.  Go to the websites and look at these kids with their beautiful faces and sad eyes.  I can't even look at the pictures any more. 

Almost-free stuff

D and I had a weekend away in New York City last month and had a really good, relaxing time.  Over dinner on our first night there, we established that we aren't going to adopt again.  We had discussed it briefly several times but never had the chance to just sit down and go over it.  In the course of that discussion we ultimately determined that, while we won't be bringing another child home (and doesn't this make all adoptive parents feel a little sad and guilty?), what we could do was to help another family adopt.

I imagine most of you have already gotten the group email or the Facebook post, but just in case you haven't, this is the plan.  We are hosting a fundraising raffle through the Adoption Center of Washington, the agency which conducted our home study and post-placements.  All the money raised will be used as a grant to assist another adoptive family with the costs of their adoption. 

You know how your life has changed since your child came home, and how your child has blossomed under your love and attention.  I hate to think of any child coming close to getting a family and then not being adopted, or a family getting into the process of adoption and then having to stop for financial reasons. 

Find the raffle at:  www.onemorehome.myevent.com

(There is another, very similar website which I didn't find until I'd already made up my page.  So make sure you get the name right.)

Enter by November 30!

 

The one about Halloween

Do I need to comment?  Maybe just photos will do.

First was the Halloween parade at school, then celebrating his one-year anniversary home, then the big night.  (That girl at the top of the stairs is my sister dressed as "pregnant Barbie.") 

Well.  Halloween was the last of our "firsts."  I will have something new to announce here in a few days - NO, it's not a new kiddo - but check back here soon...

Birth mother

I was going to write the Halloween post today, but I was checking out some other blogs and starting thinking about the birth mother again.  This post is long overdue.

I will point out first that two days ago (10/30) was the year anniversary of the day we finally arrived home from Kazakhstan.  My parents and sister were here, and Tyoma got a volcano cupcake (something he's had his eye on for a while) to celebrate.  I don't think we ever got him to understand why we were celebrating, but I think he gets that it was about him and that we love him.  And as I look back, it seems both longer and shorter than a year.  Longer because being a stay-at-home mom has been harder than I thought.  (Preschool is a wonderful thing.)  Shorter because our little toddler is already turning into a boy.  His chubby profile, which was all curves and roundness, is becoming thinner and more like the rest of his body, which is very lean.  (He still has that six-pack and those big thighs from climbing the baby house stairs every day.)  On the other hand, he still loves being babied, and if you ask him who my baby is, he knows the answer!

So.  Birth mother.

I will not give you any information about her here, although we know her name and age.  I won't give the circumstances of Tyoma's relinquishment either.  None of your business!  But I will tell you that I surprise myself often by thinking of his birth mother, and my dominant thought of her is sadness that she has lost this beautiful, smart, loving, sweet little boy.  I would have thought I would have been glad to be rid of her.  Thank goodness she gave him to us!  Now we can forget her!  But I don't feel that way at all.  When we have events or holidays or share wonderful experiences with him, I wonder if she is missing him, if she regrets her decision, how often she thinks of him.  She must wonder how he looks now and wonder how much he's grown.  She must wonder if he was even adopted.  (According to what we were told, she would not be given any information about him after he was relinquished to the baby house.  She would not know whether he was adopted or not, let alone what country he's in now.)  He could still be in Ust, where he was born, or on the other side of the world.  I find this lack of information so sad.  Can you imagine not only giving up your child, but not knowing where they are in the world?  Children from Kazakhstan go to the US, to Canada, to Spain, to Germany, to Ireland.  Wouldn't it be strange not to even know your child's new culture or language?  Not to have any sense at all where on the planet they might be living?

I told D the other day that, if they ever met, they wouldn't even be able to talk to each other.  It's just awful.

No, I'm not looking to track her down.  No way.  Although she's been googled many times, he's my child now.  And while I can't wrap my mind around giving him up in the first place, I can feel a great deal of sympathy for where she is now.  She has lost such a precious little person, and even if she can't realize how wonderful her little boy is turning out to be, she must feel a sense of loss all the time.  ALL the time.  Part of me says, "Idiot!  What were you thinking?"  Part of me is just grateful for what a lovely gift she gave us. 

My grandmother is convinced she was "from a good family," as she puts it.  I tease her:  "Do you think she was a secret princess?"  My grandmother thinks that because Tyoma is so smart and happy that somehow his mother couldn't have been some run-of-the-mill girl in a bad situation.  I think she was like a lot of other girls, but I am very curious about her.  What she looked like, what she's interested in - basically I'd like to know about Tyoma's gene pool.  Who made our little man?  Because his best traits might be fostered by us, but his inherent generosity, sweetness, and thoughtfulness are just a part of him.  I will continue to wonder about her.  She'll never know what she's missing.

The wealth of blueberries

Kiddo, having been in this country not quite a year now, has visited the White House (complex) twice.  (We have a friend.)

We went bowling in the Harry S Truman Bowling Alley in the Old Executive Office Building.

Last week, we saw "Yo Gabba Gabba Live!", which was a kick.  This was one of his favorite shows when he first started watching tv.  The show was quite entertaining for parents as well.

And every time we are able to give him something like the Yo Gabba Gabba show, I think about how blessed we are to be able to share these things with him.  I looked around the theater while we were waiting for the show to start, and I noticed especially the people who had three kids and were buying food, t-shirts, etc.  I thought of all the parents who would love to take their kids to the show but couldn't afford it.  It was a little over $100 for tickets for all of us.  Not cheap, and we only have one kid.  We didn't buy food or souvenirs, so we got off easy, I guess...although a glowstick ($10) was requested and received by you-know-who...and now that I'm remembering, D did track down the absolute last remaining package of cotton candy, again at someone's urgent request.  Well, he was super good and so excited about the whole thing, and after all, it was his very first show.  The point is, when he wanted those things, we were able to say yes.   

I am always thankful when I am feeding the little bugger.  He loves blueberries, but even if he were lukewarm about them, I'd get them because they're so good for him.  Blueberries, strawberries, loads of bananas, organic milk and yogurt.  Some of it is more expensive, but it's healthier and better for him.  So he gets it.  Because we can.  And every time I take pride in giving him what he needs, what he likes, and what is good for him, I realize how thankful I am to be in this situation.  Not just a warm house and plenty of cute clothes, but healthy food, plenty of it, lots of treats, lots of fun, lots of surprises and experiences.  And we can go to the doctor whenever we need to, or even when we don't, which is an entirely different level of comfort and security.  Aren't we rich?