Finding Machu Picchu

Christmas will be really cold next year

2012-01-21T20:42:00.000-05:00

Christmas was low-key. Our big goal was the acquisition of the perfect blue bicycle, accomplished by the grandparents, who went straight to their Wal-Mart when we located the bike in their local store. It is no sacrifice that Tyoma's biggest and most exciting gift comes from Santa rather than us - he's so into the whole Santa thing. While the rest of us enjoyed a huge seafood Christmas Eve dinner, D was running around trying to find a new inner tube to replace the one that had already broken (pretty sure Wal-Mart gave us the bike knowing the tire was bad). What a good Dad! He wanted the presentation of the bike under the tree to be perfect, and it was.

After two weeks off, I think we were all ready for preschool to start again. I'm so happy with our preschool and all the amazing and creative things they do and make. I could never imagine these crafts, let alone make them correctly (see my previous post about cookies).

Tyoma has been labeled a "smart cookie," by his preschool teacher, and quotes it all the time...our first parent/teacher conference is in two weeks, and I'm looking forward to that.

Since we found out last week that we're relocating to Toronto, Tyoma has been talking it up at school and has advised his teachers that we're getting a new house (true), with a pool (obviously not true), and that it will take us ten minutes to get there (Toronto). When you're three, ten minutes probably feels about like 12 hours. We're glad he's excited about this. He really, really wants a yard (as do we, now that he's here), but of course he has no understanding of the time it will take between now and when we actually move at the end of the year. Between now and then we have a lot to do and a lot of traveling to plan. Disney sometime this fall?....

Christmas so far, or: How everything I cook turns into a disaster

2011-12-20T20:34:00.003-05:00

Last weekend we attended what is known as "family Christmas," which is not actually held on Christmas but is attended by an awfully large group of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on D's dad's side. I think there were 28 people there. We traveled to Texas to see everyone and allow Tyoma to be spoiled by pretty much everyone. It was a really nice visit. But I forgot the camera.

Last Friday a large group of family came in to attend Tyoma's first ever Christmas program. I had been looking forward to this day since I enrolled him in preschool. How fondly I remember my own programs, not to mention those of my sister (particularly the one in which I laughed until I cried at the little girl who did everything her own way). Tyoma was dressed as an angel and participated (I can't really say sang) in three songs which were accompanied by something resembling sign language. It seemed a bit ambitious for two-to-four-year-olds, but it was quite enjoyable.

It's a bit blurry because my sister was in charge of the camera and was shaking with giggles the whole time, not to mention that you have to turn your monitor sideways to watch the video. Ummm, yeah, his halo fell down.

Then we attended storytime at the House of Sweden, which is part of the Swedish Embassy. They have a lot of holiday activities and displays. This is Tyoma playing in a little house built to represent the country homes beloved by the Swedish people. The House of Sweden is just super cool, by the way. I dig Scandinavians and all things Ikea.

We also visited the nearby National Harbor, which is nicely decorated. This is just a great photo.

Then I made the mistake of trying to bake cookies. Tyoma has an epic sweet tooth. And while we were not really a baking family growing up, I figured it couldn't be that hard to roll out some store-bought dough, make shapes with cookie cutters, and throw it in the oven, right?

Well, the three different blobs there represent snowmen, angels, and gingerbread men, and if you can tell them apart, you are a better person than I. I literally cannot cook. I have above average intelligence and have done and accomplished what I consider to be many interesting things in my life, but I cannot freaking bake a cookie. (There is also one turkey up there - a leftover idea from Thanksgiving that I never got around to.)

Surprisingly enough, the ziploc-bag-as-frosting-piper worked pretty well. Which I wouldn't have expected since cookie cutters are apparently beyond me. And since the cookies themselves looked like crap, I just threw the frosting on. It kind of outlines the angels' wings, but I wasn't really trying anymore at that point.

And today we tried ice skating. I used to do it several times a year, but it's been about twenty years since I hit the ice...it was still fun. Tyoma made a good effort but was finished after 15 minutes. He's good at trying things and had a good attitude about it.

Finally, regarding the raffle: we were thrilled to raise over $2300, which should be about 10% (perhaps less) of the cost of the adoption to which we are contributing. So a drop in the bucket in a way, but still very helpful to the couple who received the grant. I spoke to the mother-to-be last night, and she was thrilled, which made me very happy to have accomplished this.

It's very important that while we're spoiling our little ones this Christmas, we not forget the majority of orphans who are still waiting. There is always more we can do.

A month later

2011-12-07T11:07:00.001-05:00

Since I last posted, we finished our raffle and were thrilled to raise $2336! We were hoping to give a $2000 grant, so we're very happy with how this turned out, and we already have excellent candidates to receive the money.

We are very appreciative of all our friends, family, and co-workers who contributed to this. It's very important to us that we continue to support children seeking adoptive families. If you want to do something, you should check out www.twoheartsforhope.org or www.lrosier.giving.officelive.com. Both of these links will take you to organizations that do a great deal for children in orphanages. Two Hearts just completed a drive to collect Christmas gifts for two orphanages in Russia and Kazakhstan - they ensured each child received a gift. It doesn't sound like much, but you have to remember that the children in orphanages have almost no Christmas celebration and would certainly not receive anything special for themselves.

The second link is for the Antares Foundation, which also collects donations. The last time I was in contact with them, they said they are always collecting donations to send to Kazakhstan, but what they really need are cash donations. It just makes more sense to buy what is needed over there than to buy it here and ship it.

Antares also gives you the opportunity to sponsor an orphan or a group of orphans by sending them gifts or letters. I think this is a great idea. It's really strengthening for the children to receive a letter from someone who cares about them as an individual. They crave that special attention. The small things that we don't even notice mean a great deal to them. For instance: Antares instructs those who send clothing to their sponsored kids to leave the tags on. Why? Because they never get new clothes. They like to see the tags. They KEEP the tags. If that doesn't move you, I don't know what will.

I tell you these things because I can't help them all, but I would like to encourage other people, people who haven't adopted but who have compassion, to do a little something for these children. My baby used to be there, one of those kids. Go to the websites and look at these kids with their beautiful faces and sad eyes. I can't even look at the pictures any more.

Almost-free stuff

2011-11-05T22:25:00.000-04:00

D and I had a weekend away in New York City last month and had a really good, relaxing time. Over dinner on our first night there, we established that we aren't going to adopt again. We had discussed it briefly several times but never had the chance to just sit down and go over it. In the course of that discussion we ultimately determined that, while we won't be bringing another child home (and doesn't this make all adoptive parents feel a little sad and guilty?), what we could do was to help another family adopt.

I imagine most of you have already gotten the group email or the Facebook post, but just in case you haven't, this is the plan. We are hosting a fundraising raffle through the Adoption Center of Washington, the agency which conducted our home study and post-placements. All the money raised will be used as a grant to assist another adoptive family with the costs of their adoption.

You know how your life has changed since your child came home, and how your child has blossomed under your love and attention. I hate to think of any child coming close to getting a family and then not being adopted, or a family getting into the process of adoption and then having to stop for financial reasons.

Find the raffle at: www.onemorehome.myevent.com

(There is another, very similar website which I didn't find until I'd already made up my page. So make sure you get the name right.)

Enter by November 30!

The one about Halloween

2011-11-04T14:34:00.001-04:00

Do I need to comment? Maybe just photos will do.

First was the Halloween parade at school, then celebrating his one-year anniversary home, then the big night. (That girl at the top of the stairs is my sister dressed as "pregnant Barbie.")

Well. Halloween was the last of our "firsts." I will have something new to announce here in a few days - NO, it's not a new kiddo - but check back here soon...

Birth mother

2011-11-01T10:54:00.002-04:00

I was going to write the Halloween post today, but I was checking out some other blogs and starting thinking about the birth mother again. This post is long overdue.

I will point out first that two days ago (10/30) was the year anniversary of the day we finally arrived home from Kazakhstan. My parents and sister were here, and Tyoma got a volcano cupcake (something he's had his eye on for a while) to celebrate. I don't think we ever got him to understand why we were celebrating, but I think he gets that it was about him and that we love him. And as I look back, it seems both longer and shorter than a year. Longer because being a stay-at-home mom has been harder than I thought. (Preschool is a wonderful thing.) Shorter because our little toddler is already turning into a boy. His chubby profile, which was all curves and roundness, is becoming thinner and more like the rest of his body, which is very lean. (He still has that six-pack and those big thighs from climbing the baby house stairs every day.) On the other hand, he still loves being babied, and if you ask him who my baby is, he knows the answer!

So. Birth mother.

I will not give you any information about her here, although we know her name and age. I won't give the circumstances of Tyoma's relinquishment either. None of your business! But I will tell you that I surprise myself often by thinking of his birth mother, and my dominant thought of her is sadness that she has lost this beautiful, smart, loving, sweet little boy. I would have thought I would have been glad to be rid of her. Thank goodness she gave him to us! Now we can forget her! But I don't feel that way at all. When we have events or holidays or share wonderful experiences with him, I wonder if she is missing him, if she regrets her decision, how often she thinks of him. She must wonder how he looks now and wonder how much he's grown. She must wonder if he was even adopted. (According to what we were told, she would not be given any information about him after he was relinquished to the baby house. She would not know whether he was adopted or not, let alone what country he's in now.) He could still be in Ust, where he was born, or on the other side of the world. I find this lack of information so sad. Can you imagine not only giving up your child, but not knowing where they are in the world? Children from Kazakhstan go to the US, to Canada, to Spain, to Germany, to Ireland. Wouldn't it be strange not to even know your child's new culture or language? Not to have any sense at all where on the planet they might be living?

I told D the other day that, if they ever met, they wouldn't even be able to talk to each other. It's just awful.

No, I'm not looking to track her down. No way. Although she's been googled many times, he's my child now. And while I can't wrap my mind around giving him up in the first place, I can feel a great deal of sympathy for where she is now. She has lost such a precious little person, and even if she can't realize how wonderful her little boy is turning out to be, she must feel a sense of loss all the time. ALL the time. Part of me says, "Idiot! What were you thinking?" Part of me is just grateful for what a lovely gift she gave us.

My grandmother is convinced she was "from a good family," as she puts it. I tease her: "Do you think she was a secret princess?" My grandmother thinks that because Tyoma is so smart and happy that somehow his mother couldn't have been some run-of-the-mill girl in a bad situation. I think she was like a lot of other girls, but I am very curious about her. What she looked like, what she's interested in - basically I'd like to know about Tyoma's gene pool. Who made our little man? Because his best traits might be fostered by us, but his inherent generosity, sweetness, and thoughtfulness are just a part of him. I will continue to wonder about her. She'll never know what she's missing.

The wealth of blueberries

2011-10-09T22:29:00.001-04:00

Kiddo, having been in this country not quite a year now, has visited the White House (complex) twice. (We have a friend.)

We went bowling in the Harry S Truman Bowling Alley in the Old Executive Office Building.

Last week, we saw "Yo Gabba Gabba Live!", which was a kick. This was one of his favorite shows when he first started watching tv. The show was quite entertaining for parents as well.

And every time we are able to give him something like the Yo Gabba Gabba show, I think about how blessed we are to be able to share these things with him. I looked around the theater while we were waiting for the show to start, and I noticed especially the people who had three kids and were buying food, t-shirts, etc. I thought of all the parents who would love to take their kids to the show but couldn't afford it. It was a little over $100 for tickets for all of us. Not cheap, and we only have one kid. We didn't buy food or souvenirs, so we got off easy, I guess...although a glowstick ($10) was requested and received by you-know-who...and now that I'm remembering, D did track down the absolute last remaining package of cotton candy, again at someone's urgent request. Well, he was super good and so excited about the whole thing, and after all, it was his very first show. The point is, when he wanted those things, we were able to say yes.

I am always thankful when I am feeding the little bugger. He loves blueberries, but even if he were lukewarm about them, I'd get them because they're so good for him. Blueberries, strawberries, loads of bananas, organic milk and yogurt. Some of it is more expensive, but it's healthier and better for him. So he gets it. Because we can. And every time I take pride in giving him what he needs, what he likes, and what is good for him, I realize how thankful I am to be in this situation. Not just a warm house and plenty of cute clothes, but healthy food, plenty of it, lots of treats, lots of fun, lots of surprises and experiences. And we can go to the doctor whenever we need to, or even when we don't, which is an entirely different level of comfort and security. Aren't we rich?

Preschool and pumpkins and the land of why

2011-09-23T15:30:00.001-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, "why" made its first appearance. It's not like "why is the sky blue?" It's "why???" every time I tell him to stop doing something. Anything. Or when I say we have to go. Or when I make a comment about, well, pretty much anything. Should I take it as a sign that he's inquisitive and learning all the time? Because I'm pretty sick of it at this point. I've also, half-on-purpose, taught him to say "all jacked up." Come on, it's pretty funny, and he'll forget it soon if we don't encourage him. It's better than "suck it," which is what my sister was trying to get him to say.

This past weekend was very exciting and lots of fun. We took a quick trip to visit family and visited a wonderful farm for fall festivities that included a hayride, train ride, pony ride, bouncy pillow, pumpkin patch, fort, and tipi. Our local farm does not compare at all! We had a good visit and Tyoma enjoyed his relatives - he keeps asking to go back. Now.

I have to say I'm really pleased with his preschool. He's participating well and doing so many valuable learning activities. His teachers and the director remembered his name on the first day, even though he hadn't been there since registration in February, and they seem to have memorized all the little quirky things about him that I wrote on his registration forms. If they are doing something special on one of his "off" days, he is still invited to attend. Everything is so professional - I can't tell you how pleased I am that this is going well. And the freaky attitude and bad behavior of last week seem to have passed.

Sometimes Michael goes to preschool, but more often, he has to work. Poor Michael. He has a pretty full plate for a three-year-old.

Tyoma put his hand on his stomach yesterday and remarked that he was doing this how it was done in preschool. Long story short - he was referring to the Pledge of Allegiance (he got to hold the flag on Tuesday). Once I figured that out, I moved his hand from his tummy to his heart.

He was on the potty at the time, which brought up another subject. When he has to potty a lot, he says he's been keeping it in his knee...

Look at the big brain on that one

2011-09-16T10:35:00.001-04:00

I'm really outdoing myself now...two posts in three days. It's all this free time I have now that the boy is at preschool!

Last night he suddenly started talking about Michael. Michael is not one of the kids in his class (no such prosaic names in that group; some of them have very, uh, unique names). It turns out Michael is his imaginary friend! We're trying to figure out where the name came from, as the only Michael he's met is one of our neighbors to whom he's talked in passing, but that doesn't really matter. The important part is that Michael was with us at dinner last night, and we got a lot of details about him. Michael is three and a little shorter than Tyoma. He has blue eyes and blue hair. He lives downstairs in the condo below ours, with our neighbor, J. (J might be interested to know about this.) He sleeps in Tyoma's bed with him, but I don't think he was going to preschool today. As I recall, Michael had to go to work instead. Poor Michael.

I am taking a great deal of joy in this because I had two imaginary friends when I was small. They had weird names. (I'm telling you this to save my mom writing a long comment in order to share with the world.)

It's supposed to be a sign of intelligence, or at least creativity. But we already knew he was a smartie.

It's tough being three

2011-09-14T11:02:00.000-04:00

Summer is over, and I am so GLAD! The heat is ending and fall will come, and it will be our first fall with our little guy. Last year we arrived home on October 30, so we missed some prime fall activities, such as the pumpkin patch and Halloween. Halloween: a hard thing to explain to a three-year-old, but he gets that he has to pick a costume. Pirate seems to be the frontrunner right now.

Two weeks ago, he had soccer camp. There was a lot of kicking. I think he understood pretty well that this was a game to be played with feet and not hands. Other than that, there was a lot of looking at butterflies and helicopters and bugs and trying to tickle the coach while he was giving instruction. Three might have been a little young. Maybe we'll try again next year.

September 2 was the official one-year anniversary of the adoption, meaning that is the date on the paperwork. However, because we didn't know if we could get my visa extended (and couldn't take him out of the baby house without a plan), we didn't take custody of him until September 9. So 9/9 is pretty much our official Day. We took a couple of photos that night, just by way of commemoration.

We tried to talk to him about it, but I don't think he got it. He doesn't seem to have any more conscious memories of the baby house. Which is probably good.

And finally, the monumental first day of preschool. We talked it up like crazy. I tried to impart, over and over, that it was just like playgroup, which he was very comfortable with. Playgroup went on all summer, and he loved it. The only difference, I said, was that he would have lunch at preschool before I came to get him. No big deal. (I have this fear that he will think we are leaving him. We were very careful with playgroup and even with the church nursery. While he was obviously nervous the first three days of playgroup, he adjusted really quickly and always enjoyed himself.)

We attended preschool open house on Wednesday. School was closed on Friday because of all the flooding in the area, so he didn't start until the 12th. Papa was able to attend both the open house and be there for the first day, which is really important to all of us. He's one of the only dads who was there.

So everything went smoothly. We dropped him off and left without tears from any of the parties involved. In fact, he went right in and started playing, so it was a bit anti-climactic, actually. I went home to a very quiet house and got some things done. He was happy to see me when I picked him up, and when we got in the car, I said, "Did you like it?" "Yes." "Do you want to go back tomorrow?" "I want to go back right now!" Good sign, right?

Then we came home, and he proceeded to be grumpy and cranky and downright difficult for the rest of the day. And it was the same thing this morning. A temper tantrum the likes of which we haven't seen in weeks. It wasn't about getting ready for school. He was happy to do that. So why is he being so difficult?

I started thinking about it. The preschool routine goes like this: Arrival. Play for a while. Everyone out to the playground together. Back inside, everyone to the bathroom. Play, more activities, etc. Everyone sit down at the table and eat lunch together. This is slightly different from playgroup in that it is more organized. In fact, the routine is a lot like....the baby house. Again, my only concern about preschool is that he will associate it with his earlier life. But he said he liked it.

On the other hand, maybe I'm more concerned about this than he is. Maybe it was just over-excitement. I can't be sure, and you can't get him to talk about things at this level. Perhaps it's just the newness. Perhaps he's going through a new and horrible stage at the same time as starting school. Either way, I'm sure a couple of days will straighten things out.

By the way, this time last year D was alone with monkey boy in Ust, and I was in Amsterdam getting my visa renewed so that I could go back to Kazakhstan for another month. Ah....Amsterdam.

Feast your eyes

2011-08-28T20:30:00.002-04:00

The last time I wrote, as I was bemoaning our lack of photos, D was at the store buying some sort of device which made our photos accessible again. Now we have pictures from June to the present. Here are a few:

After Kazapalooza in St. Pete, we went straight to Sea World. Did I mention he was totally freaked out by the Shamu show?

This summer we were also lucky enough to get a tour of the West Wing at the White House. It was surreal to actually view the Oval Office, and although no photos were allowed, the boy has now seen a place most Americans never will.

Finally, a look at his shiner, courtesy of the coffee table. It lasted about two weeks.

The hurricane's gone, but we did have the earthquake last week, which to me was much more frightening. Little guy had just gone down for his nap when I ran back upstairs yelling for him to run to me so that we could (I wasn't sure yet)...run out the door? Get into a doorway? Freak out together? Fortunately it was over by the time I got him downstairs, but later that day he said, "I don't want do that again," and I completely agree. When he tells the story, he pretends to hyperventilate, and that serves as his impression of me. Seriously, I wasn't that bad, but I was scared.

His American passport arrived in the mail a few days ago, and for some reason, this gives me such a sense of relief and security. The citizenship certificate is certainly more important, but after all the trouble we had getting out of Kazakhstan, knowing he can travel as an American takes a weight off my mind.

Stay tuned for soccer camp and preschool, coming next week!

More from yesterday

2011-08-18T20:43:00.003-04:00

In what has become my typical half-assed fashion when addressing this blog, I neglected to put in any photos when writing yesterday's post. Here is one outside court on August 17, 2010 - I'm pretty sure we waited until after the ruling to take the photo! You might be able to tell that we are happy. But why did we have to bring nice clothes all the way to Kazakhstan when our coordinator showed up at court in flip-flops?

And since we still can't download photos from our camera, and that is not my responsibility to fix, no matter how much the blog suffers, I can only offer you another photo from Tyoma's 3rd birthday (in May) and one of him at Mount Vernon, also in, er, May. Three months ago.

I hope to write again before another month passes.

Court date

2011-08-17T14:54:00.001-04:00

Well, here we are, one year after court. Last night our little man was restless and unhappy. We put him in bed with us at around midnight, after he'd awakened from a bad dream and asked for cuddles. Before D fell asleep, I told him that it was morning in Kazakhstan, and exactly one year ago at that time, we were on our way to court.

I remember being not unduly nervous that morning - after all, everyone in Ust says it's no big deal and nothing will go wrong. The social worker smiled at us and told us to relax. The judge didn't even appear to be listening to our speeches, though he was looking at the photos of our house and family. The worst part was coming back into the courtroom after the break and listening to the decision. I remember my legs were literally shaking at that point. It turned out later, after we saw all the paperwork, that the same judge had handled all the formalities when Tyoma was first placed in the baby house. I wonder if he remembered.

The year passed quickly, but our little guy is very different. He is three now, MUCH taller but still very lean and muscular, with a great vocabulary and a sunny disposition which draws almost as many comments as his good looks (can I say that?). He is surrounded by a lot of love, not only from us but from a large extended family and many friends. But sometimes he still has trouble sleeping. Last night we got up four times with him. This happens much less than before, but it still happens. Usually it's just a bit of fussing, but at other times, he immediately starts yelling. It seems that sometimes he is still afraid of wolves ("volks").

Sometimes it's hard to comfort him. I probably have more questions about the baby house now than I did when we were there.

On the other hand, he cracks us up with a funny saying almost every day. Today he picked up a stick outside and was pretending it was a screwdriver. I knew this because he kept saying "screw the driver! screw the driver!" He's incredibly observant. When I put a new photo of him into a picture frame, he noticed it the next time he walked into the room.

He is reading a little, and I'm sure he will soon lose the last few Russian words we use: "lala" for candy, "kakayu" for gassiness...there might be a couple of others, but those are the ones that make us laugh. "Dad" is sometimes used instead of "Papa." When I use Russian words, he is sometimes unable to pronounce them, as if his mouth and tongue are only acclimated to English now.

He starts preschool in a few weeks, and he's so proud of his backpack that he practically struts when wearing it. Apparently he and his little girlfriend, M, down the street (also an international adoptee) are engaged. So life rolls on.

I haven't decided yet which day to celebrate. The adoption was finalized on 9/2, and we took custody of him on 9/9. Perhaps we should commemorate them all.

It's never over

2011-07-09T19:14:00.002-04:00

In May, my sister graduated college, and I made what Ibelieve was my second overnight trip away from Tyoma since my little excursionto Amsterdam to renew my visa last September. We had a very hectic two days, but since we decided Tyomawasn’t going to make it through a three-hour ceremony anyway and might as wellstay home, I enjoyed myself and even squeezed in a movie, which is close tobliss for me. (My sister is now working near us and living closer to me than she ever has, so we have a very willing babysitter whenever we need her.)

Around midnight on that Saturday, D called me at my sister’s dorm, where we were gettingready for bed. “What is Colonel Top?” he demanded in a very tiredvoice. (Our breadwinner D is at work all day and doesn’t understand all of Tyoma’s newwords and sayings as well as I do.) Tyoma had awakened after acouple of hours of sleep and was insisting on Colonel Top. And he gets really upset if you can’tunderstand him.

“Colonel Top, Colonel Top…” I said it a couple of times totry to figure out what words might be similar, but it was beyond me. Tyoma has been learning words and phrasesso quickly that we really have to pay attention and keep up. But since I wasn’t at home and couldn’tdo anything, I went to sleep and left D to deal with it. I’m not sure how much longer it wasbefore they settled the matter, but it turns out that Tyoma was saying “car notop,” which was his phrase for a convertible, and he was insisting that heneeded one right then. Atmidnight. He often wakes withstrange ideas.

Later, we taught him to say convertible. It came out first as “so terrible!” butnow he’s got it.

He also went through a phase where he talked likeGollum. “Food” became “foodses,”“toys” became “toyses,” etc.

Before the weather turned too hot I managed to lock him inthe car in his carseat. I used tobuckle him in, throw the keys into my seat, and walk around. I don’t do that anymore. I think he managed to push the lockbutton on my keys before I threw them. It doesn’t really matter how it happened, only that the fire departmentarrived before he got too warm. Itturns out that if you call a locksmith, he will refer you to 911, and that the policeman(first on the scene) and the guys on the ladder truck (arriving without sirens,thankfully) are really nice. Tyomawas pretty excited to get a fire hat out of the deal. I felt like a moron and tried not to look around to see howmany people were staring, but I think I'm not the first mom to do this.

Kazapalooza was great. A beautiful hotel on a beautiful beach, and it was so nice to see J, M,and M again, as well as meet some people we’d only communicated with via blogs. We went from St. Petersburg to Orlando,which was hot as hell. Seaworldwas a bust, as Tyoma was uncharacteristically afraid of the Shamu show and theshark tunnel. He was too small toride any rides at all. I reallyenjoyed the manatees, and Tyoma did love petting the little manta rays.

The only reason we went to Seaworld at all was becauseadmission was included when we bought tickets to Discovery Cove, and let metell you, next time you’re in Orlando, this is a must-do. At Discovery Cove, you can spring forthe dolphin package or not. (Istill can’t really absorb that I was moving through the water with a dolphinpulling me – it’s amazingly smooth and quiet.) Even without the dolphin swim, the rest of the park isfantastic. There is a lazy riverwhich winds all around, and a simulated ocean reef where you can snorkel amongtropical fish and frighteningly HUGE manta rays without fear of sharks. It’s a whole day event, and admissionincludes everything, including food, drinks, and sunblock. I would like to go again.

We had dinner one night at Downtown Disney, which is a hugeshopping/clubbing/dining area you can visit without entering Disneyworld. We went into the “World of Disney”store, which is enough to make my heart swell with happiness. I love me some Disney, and you can getanything you want here (salt and pepper shakers, shower curtain rings) with aDisney spin. As soon as he’sfamiliar with the movies, we’ll be back.

On June 13, Tyoma decided he was potty-trained. We had encouraged him to go on thetoilet but not pushed him, and that day he asked to go and has let us know (andmade it to the bathroom) almost every time since. He can take off his pants and climbright up there himself, although one time he was so fascinated trying to lookat his bottom that he fell off and landed on his head.

Random things he’s said: “I’m a polite man.” He sometimes says he’s a man or a lady, depending on what he’splaying. Yesterday he was a“baseball man.” He has a fantasticimagination. At the grocery store, when he says, "Mama, I'm a lady," it means I'm supposed to pay him for some food while he rings me up. A couple of nightsago I tried to up the ante on nighttime prayers. At first we just said “thank you, Jesus” for whatever. He would list things: his lamp, his bed, his toys, his door –but now he says thank you for his family and his doggie. I thought I’d introduce asking Jesus towatch over people. I wonderedabout saying “people I love,” but then I thought, well, maybe we should askJesus to watch over everyone. Itshouldn’t be about people we love. And when he understands what we’re doing, we’ll throw in the childrenstill left at the baby houses in Kazakhstan. Tyoma's version that night was “Jesus, watch out forpeople!” So maybe we’ll just comeback to that one later.

Unfortunately our laptop isn't recognizing our downloaded photos, which were, let's face it, the best part of the blog; we'll have to do without for the foreseeable future.

One more thing that's not about Tyoma: there are some people in the adoption community who are doing remarkable things. (I am not one of them.) There are those who've started non-profits for the children still in Kazakhstan and elsewhere; there are those who bring their love and needed supplies during visits to the orphanages to play with the kids; there are those who can't adopt but who sponsor a child growing up in an orphanage (you can send letters and small gifts and really make a difference to a child who has no one); there is a couple who moved from Australia to China to care for seriously and terminally ill orphans. I read about this couple on Lori Printy's blog (if you read adoption blogs, you know hers), and it just floors me that these people are devoting their lives (not just a little time or some money, but their LIVES) to caring for these forgotten children. After the adoption is finished, it's not over. There is still a lot of work to do, and there will always be children who are still waiting. Promote adoption.

Extras

2011-05-26T14:31:00.001-04:00

I took a quick look at Kaz blogs today - it's so frustrating to me that I don't have time anymore to follow everyone else's blogs, let alone time to write my own. And I suspect that no one's reading mine anymore, either, unless I alert them to a new post.

I will just record a few things for posterity that Tyoma has done (while he's upstairs refusing to nap but trapped nonetheless):

In January, we had a visit from my friend G and her family, including her four-year-old, Ben. Ben was wandering around the house without socks on, and Tyoma, my little product of a baby house which never allowed bare feet, was quite distressed by this. Although he never had a thing of his own in said baby house, he loves to share. He ran into his room, got out a pair of his socks, and laid them at Ben's feet.

In that same vein, when the Easter bunny presented Tyoma with more chocolate than he should ever be allowed to eat, he noticed his Nanny (great-grandmother) was the only person present who didn't receive a chocolate rabbit. (In reality this never happens, as Nanny is loaded with chocolate treats at all times.) Tyoma immediately, wordlessly handed over his brand new, shiny gold foil-covered rabbit to his Nanny.

Have I mentioned the "bearcano"? This is a combination of a bear and a volcano and is something to be feared. Obviously.

He continues to rub his ears furiously when stressed, and I wonder if any other kids do this. It happens rarely now, but he does it sometimes when he's trying to fall asleep. He often asks D or I to rub his ears, but we never do it correctly, and he always falls back on doing it himself. But sometimes he rubs our ears for us, and if we're not bleeding from his little nails (as D says, "that blood dripping down my neck is so soothing"), we pretend to fall immediately asleep, which delights him.

We talk about my grandfather sometimes. Despite never having talked about death or heaven, when we ask if he's met Poppy, he says yes, and when we ask where Poppy is, he says "in the sky." So figure that one out.

I showed him Kazakhstan on a globe. Once. He knows exactly where it is and wants to look at it sometimes, but we've never had to point it out again. Genius.

Too long

2011-05-19T11:07:00.000-04:00

I often want to write, but the mood strikes when I don't have time, and when I do have time, I'm sleeping or cleaning or just uninspired, and then my blog is not what it should be. However. It's time to get something out. I keep thinking that if I were still working at my last job, which I didn't particularly enjoy, I would at least have time to write. I had lots of time there to play around on the internet and handle personal business, all while doing my job and getting paid too. Oh, the irony.

Since I've last written we've had Easter, with so many egg hunts we lost count, and a lovely trip to the beach to visit D's extended family, who made a huge deal over Tyoma. He had a wonderful time. Our kiddo is fearless. He runs right into the waves (holding someone's hand, of course). Then D's parents came all the way from Texas for our big birthday blowout. Our little man turned three a couple of weeks ago. Sigh. Doesn't this mean he's a big boy now and not considered a toddler any longer?

I will go straight to the photos, and you probably won't hear from me again until we return from Kazapalooza, which is only two weeks away! We're looking forward to that for many reasons. Family time is happy time.

At the zoo on his birthday with his Grandpop and Grandpa.

This goes with the new scooter.

An embarrassment of riches!

Carnies

2011-04-21T23:03:00.000-04:00

We had nothing to do with it, but some very generous people invited one of our translators, Olga, to the US for a visit, and we were thrilled to be able to spend a couple of days with her. Our only concern was that Tyoma might have a strange reaction to seeing her as we've heard adopted children sometimes do; but he was happy and excited and is still talking about her even after she's gone on to the next point on her itinerary.

We picked her up at the airport and spent a day seeing the sites in our city, and as we approached home that evening, Olga caught sight of the traveling carnival which is encamped for the week at a mall near our house. She pointed at the ferris wheel (which in Russian is called a "devil wheel") and said, "What is this? I want to go on this." Ten minutes later we were all wandering through the carnival, Tyoma's hand safely and firmly clenched in someone else's at all times.

I told Olga I couldn't do it. Not only do I mistrust whomever is responsible for handling the nuts and bolts in traveling carnivals, but I couldn't handle the vertigo engendered by a ferris wheel - especially one with such open cars. And there was no way my baby was going on there. D was still wearing his suit from work (while I fear the lack of expertise of traveling carnie employees, D fears the grime), and he wasn't about to wear a suit on a ride. So Olga went it alone. And as she stepped into her car, and one guy fastened the thin chain which was the only thing separating her from a crazy leap into space, another guy a few feet away took a roll of duct tape and wrapped it around and around a connecting point on one of the wheel's spokes..... Yes, duct tape. I'm sure that brought it up to code.

Olga was fine, of course. She enjoyed the ride. It was great (and a little surreal) to see her. I'm so glad she's getting to see our country and visit many of the kids she has helped to find parents over the past couple of years. In seeing her, we remembered many of the things we liked and enjoyed during our time in Kazakhstan. We thought of Dinara, and hoped that someday we will see her again too. We talked about the baby house, and about Tyoma's birth mother, about whom I often think and speculate...but that is a different post.

One year gone

2011-03-10T18:41:00.001-05:00

One year ago today, we traveled to Kazakhstan for the first time. Many memories come to mind: my parents leaving us at the airport; the excitement and hopefulness I felt as I looked out the airplane window at snowy Russia below us while everyone else slept; how thrilling it was to arrive in Almaty and see the customs officials in their very USSR-style uniforms; arriving in Ust in the middle of the night when everything was covered in snow; our exhaustion when we finally fell into bed, and our excitement when we awoke; feeling sick to my stomach on the way to the baby house, where we waited what seemed like an interminable amount of time before we were called out of the van; and seeing that little girl throw her arms around D, saying "Papa!" as she was no doubt coached to do. And then everything went downhill. We met with her once and then sent the photos off to the adoption doctors. The next morning, which would have been bonding day two, we woke at 5 am. and decided we had nothing better to do than check e-mail, only to find our doctors had quickly responded and sent us very bad news. And then we backed out and came home.

I said once that after we returned from Ust I would give the whole story, but I'm not sure it's a good idea given that things are up in the air for the future of Kazakhstan adoption. I will just say that our agency was supportive of our decision and even asked for more information from me so that they could be better informed about this particular issue. And, in case you are wondering, I have every reason to believe, based on information I picked up here and there, that that particular beautiful four-year-old girl was adopted by someone else, which takes a great weight from my mind.

We did meet Tyoma briefly on that trip, but I won't go into details about that. We came home with a great deal of hope mixed with our disappointment and regret. And four months later, we returned for him.

Our little monkey makes tremendous leaps and bounds in understanding, speech, and maturity on what seems a weekly basis. I have a bit of space now where I can shower or dust the house without waiting for him to sleep. He is very liberal with "please" and "thank you," and "no thank you" and "excuse me" sometimes make appearances. I have no way to measure what amount of speech is remarkable for his age, but I do know that he's doing fantastically well considering he's only been home four months (we took custody of him six months ago yesterday).

He still uses Russian to say "I love you," and has only said it once in English - to my parents' cat. We are working on prayers, and I thought we should start out easy by only saying "thank you for my nice things" and leaving it at that for now, but the other night he just started listing things - his toys, his books, his bed, his room, his dog, his papa and mama. He just seems to understand so much.

He is obsessed with getting a bicycle once he is bigger (he knows his birthday and is expecting a bicycle to appear), and with going to the beach this summer. He goes on and on about beaches, buckets, ocean, summer, and sandcastles.

He is also talking a lot lately about volks (wolves). I know they are often used as the boogeyman in Russian culture, and apparently he's taken it to heart. He looks in the vent in the floor and asks what's down there: "Volk?"

So today I've been thinking about where we were a year ago, and where we are now. I'm glad we made that tough decision. If we had accepted that little girl, our little boy, who is loving, smart, sweet, affectionate, and beautiful, would most likely be spending the rest of his life in an orphanage, as he was over two and close to being considered an "older child." He had no one in Kazakhstan to care for him and no where to go once he was old enough to leave the orphanage, and the thought of my child, who shows so much promise, growing up without a family just breaks my heart. Thank goodness we made that first trip, because although we had doubts, we needed to be sure. And that led us to our baby.

C-day

2011-03-02T14:36:00.002-05:00

We are now almost three weeks post-circumcision, but I'll try to remember the details.

Shortly after we knew we were adopting a boy, I posted a question on the Ark chat group about circumcision and, with one exception, everyone said it was a piece of cake. I did a bit of research about pros and cons (a little of both), but what it came down to was that we want our son to fit in. No, we don't want him to be a cookie-cutter image of everyone else; yes, we want him to have his own ideas and thoughts, but when it comes to something that other boys can hassle him about, we thought it best to do this one thing and make his life a bit easier when puberty rolls around. I have an opinion about pretty much everything, but I left this up to D, really, since he is a boy and I am not, but I know what it's like to be teased, and it's not something I want for Tyoma. We ran it by the pediatric surgeon during our consultation, too, and he said six of one, half dozen of the other. More people are choosing not to circumcise these days...but anyway, long story short, we decided to get it over with.

One thing that was recommended was that we make sure he was bonded with us and felt very secure before we did it. It's not something we wanted to do as soon as he came home (he has been with us now for almost six months).

I should interject here that Tyoma is already enthralled with his "peeka" - that's my phonetic spelling of the word he uses (Russian?), and I frankly like it better than the English word, so we're still using it, although to continue with our theme of fitting in and not being teased, we'll have to teach the other word eventually. He's been paying it quite a lot of attention as long as we've known him. D gives him his bath each night and works on his letters in the bathtub with a little foam alphabet. D is for dog, B is for boy, etc., but O is for "Peeka go in!" and in it goes. Huh. He was delighted with himself for that one. The two of them talked about the "peeka doctor" before we went for the consultation, and Tyoma was aware that his peeka was going to look a little different.

The morning of, Tyoma didn't notice that we didn't offer breakfast. We didn't eat, either, which is what the nurse says many people do (baby can't eat, we won't eat). Tyoma sang "peeka doctor" all the way to the hospital, but he was getting nervous by the time we were called into the pediatric ward. (He really looks like a bobble-head in this photo, doesn't he? Look at that big baby noggin.)

The entire staff was wonderful, but the wait for this kind of thing is always too long. He put on his little yellow hospital pajamas, and they showed cartoons while we waited, thank goodness. Then D was allowed to change into scrubs too and go with him into the operating room (we decided that due to my propensity for tears, D was the best man for this job). Tyoma only had to wear the mask over his face, and then the IV was put in after he was asleep. He'd played with the mask with a hospital child-life specialist, decorating it with stickers, but he was still terrified, and little tears rolled down his face. Thankfully, he was out within a few seconds.

We went out to the lobby to wait and were told repeatedly not to leave the hospital. Can you IMAGINE that some people actually leave? We knew we needed to be there as soon as he was awake so that he wouldn't feel alone.

The doctor was out within about half an hour, and shortly thereafter, he started to wake. We got there before he was fully alert, and he came out of it pretty quickly. He enjoyed his juice and goldfish, and even got to pick a "prize" from a cartload of goodies. The nurse told us he was the best-behaved kiddo she'd seen all day, hands down - we didn't tell her that's what they learn in the baby house. He's always good at the doctor; God knows what they did at the baby house to enforce that.

He was a bit tired for the rest of the day. He stood up a few times only to have his legs go out from under him, so we just relaxed and watched a lot of cartoons.

D went back to work the next day, and when I tried to change Tyoma's diaper mid-morning, he completely panicked. He sobbed, and these were not tantrum tears, these were tears of fear that were really upsetting. I needed to put anti-bacterial ointment on his stitches, but he was terrified of me touching him. In the end, I put it on the diaper instead, but it took a long time for him to calm down, and it took several diaper changes before he stopped panicking. It was at least ten days before we were allowed to put ointment on him instead of on the diaper.

We tried a bath after two days, but that was also too painful, so we waited four. I started wondering if we'd done the right thing. Although he acted normally all day, when it came to diaper changes, he was still in pain and nervous for about a week, and this was much longer than I expected. Now the stitches have dissolved and everything looks fine ('peeka better,' as he says), but I don't know if I would do it again or not. I think we made the right decision to do it, but I don't know if the timing was right. Maybe he was too old, or maybe he was too young. Maybe five or six would have been better, when he might have understood what was done, but our reasoning was that at this age he won't remember it later. Either way, waiting until he trusted us was key - recovery time was much longer, and he was in more pain than I expected. I'm just glad it's over.

Growth

2011-02-18T15:33:00.001-05:00

There have been so many things that Tyoma's done lately that strike me as remarkable. It seems that every day he is picking up a new phrase or saying. Right now he says "hey!" a lot for no particular reason, and today he called something 'beautiful,' though I didn't know he knew that word. Not very exciting, I know, but I'm not finished yet.

He has a Curious George book with pictures of 12 different people in the costumes of their random professions. When we've read it, he points at each one, and I say what they are. We've done this maybe ten times, but not lately. A few days ago, we read this book again, and he named all the people in the book: firefighter, plumber, babysitter, chef, scientist, etc., and he even knew acrobat and actor. What two-year-old knows those words? Sure, he calls the businessman "busy day" and the baker "bacon," but that's pretty close! Like George, he is curious about everything and is always saying, "Mama, dats?" which is how he asks the name of something new. ("Something new?" is also something he says frequently.)

He can count to twelve (usually). He knows colors, shapes, and recognizes all his letters. He sings his ABCs and "Twinkle Little Star," although he calls it "Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder where you are up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky"...saying all of that as the name of the song kind of defeats the purpose of singing it again. He also has an amusing habit of filling in blanks with "nuh nuh" whenever he doesn't know the words ("like a diamond nuh nuh sky"). "Nuh nuh" is also used when he's forming a sentence and wants it to be longer than it is. He uses the words he knows and intersperses "nuh nuh" as needed, forcing us to weed out the "nuhs" in order to pick out and understand the real words.

He's such a good kiddo. We spent over two hours today in an urgent care center waiting for D to get stitches after he broke a mug and cut his hand, and Tyoma played happily and was very patient. This is a change from a couple of weeks ago, when he was being a real terror, but that seems to have been a phase, thank goodness, and for the past week or so he's been a great listener and for the most part pretty well-behaved. I've been praising him for listening so well and doing what he's asked to do.

Sometimes I still look around and wonder how we got here. Who is this little blond boy who has invaded our home? Isn't it strange that there are now three of us? Am I really a mama? I think I've finally found my groove (I've said that before, but I keep improving) and am getting better at entertaining a little one all day long and balancing all the other things I need to get done.

On the other hand, part of the ease making its way into our routine is due to him. Tyoma is maturing so quickly. He understands more, talks more, uses so many surprising words, and has apparently learned that sometimes you can just do what you're told without being difficult about it. He is easier to talk to and reason with and is pretty much amenable to anything. I am shocked at how much he's grown (figuratively) in the almost four months we've been home.

Last week he was circumcised, and that will be my next post - a long story in itself.

Milestones

2011-02-11T14:04:00.001-05:00

My next issue has nothing to do with Tyoma, other than that it was the first time we left him overnight; I will give you a little background about that before I tell you about the charity event D and I attended last weekend. Tyoma did fine with my parents, as we thought he would, even though I was surprised at my ridiculous texts to my mom, which were along the lines of "did you turn the oven off?", etc. I am blessed/cursed with an overactive imagination, and it's not such a good thing to have when you become a mother, as you spend a lot of time thinking of ridiculous, totally unlikely scenarios. In any case, my parents have watched Tyoma twice before while we went to dinner, so he was comfortable with our leaving over night as well and didn't have any problems.

Now my point: without naming any names, I will just say we attended a function that benefits animals, and I was absolutely disgusted at the number of attendees wearing fur! I am trying to be less judgmental, and I will make allowances for, say, someone who inherited their grandmother's fur, or bought it 50 years ago before anyone really gave the origins of the coat any thought, but you know most of those people bought those coats regardless of what they must know about how fur is obtained. Disgusted, I say. I wanted to torch the coat check, but D wouldn't let me. The IRONY of people attending a benefit for animals while wearing their fur. HELLO??

Anyway. It was nice to have a good dinner, win something at the auction, and sleep in (until almost 9!) the next morning. A little treat for D and I, and for Tyoma too, who gets plenty of spoiling from his Baba and Grandpop.

Our challenge this past week was our continuing search for a preschool. We visited one about three weeks ago which I liked and which Tyoma seemed to enjoy, and I kept in close touch with the director, who promised to advise us about openings for the fall. Long story short, I was the first person in line for registration on registration day, standing in the cold clutching my child's hand while the other parents waited inside their warm cars, and even with returning children having preference, Tyoma is in for next year. I was very pleased, and yet, upon leaving the preschool, the first thing I thought was, "what will I do without my little one three mornings a week?!" So that is the life of a mom. I want him to socialize and play with other kids, and I'm looking forward to time for myself (or at least quality time with the vacuum), but I know I will miss that little booger. I look forward to all the milestones he has ahead of him - it will be fun to watch him grow and experience so many new things, but it won't be long until I can't even pick him up and squeeze him anymore...and how I will miss my cuddlebug.

Time flies

2011-02-03T14:08:00.000-05:00

This past week we enjoyed a baby shower thrown by the wife of my mom's employer. We've already had two showers - one thrown at our house by my aunt and cousin, and one at D's workplace, and both were so nicely done. This most recent one was hosted by a woman I'd never even met until we walked in her door on Saturday, but she wanted to do it because she was so happy for us, as were my mom's co-workers. It was very generous of them to show us so much support - not to mention all the wonderful gifts we received.

It looks as though we may have found a preschool. I researched several, toured a couple, and I think I've found an opening for him for this fall. Here's the kicker, though: as much as I was looking forward to a couple of mornings a week of letting him play with other kids and letting me accomplish something (anything), as soon as I drove away from the school, I started thinking, "but what will I do without my baby?" So I guess that's the way it goes. I'd love some time alone, but I miss him when he's not here. And, more than anything else, I'm already wondering how it is that he's growing up so quickly. How is it that I am preparing for preschool already? He's been home for three months now, and preschool is only seven months away.

This morning he started with a drop-off playgroup. I was very happy to find this place; we visited it together, and he said he wanted to come back and play, and today was his first day. We loaded up his little backpack with a diaper, sippy cup, and cereal bar, and I took a photo when I realized this might not be the first day of school, but it was his first time away from home! I didn't want to cry or anything stupid because he was a little nervous, too. He was rubbing his ear, and when I asked if he was scared, he nodded. We talked some more about how he was going to play with kids, and I was going to the store and then I would come back. He didn't seem concerned about my return (my fear was that he would think this was a return to a baby house-type of place), and when we arrived, he was nothing but excited. He went right in, clung to me for a couple of minutes, and then didn't even watch as I shoved off. So, in a nutshell, all went well, he really enjoyed it, he wanted to stay longer and wants to go back soon, and I didn't do too badly myself. I didn't cry - I really enjoyed the two hours off.

The big trial comes this weekend, as D and I attend a function (big night out!), and my parents stay overnight with our little one...I'm dreading it and excited all at the same time.

Here's a photo of bedhead, and of him preparing for his first day as a big boy.

Wonder

2011-01-28T21:13:00.001-05:00

We were playing in the snow yesterday with our friends who are also adoptive parents. L, the mom, asked me if it was still surreal. Absolutely! I sometimes look at my little blondie and wonder how all this happened. OK, it was six years of trying, and almost two years of process, and I handled a ream of paperwork and went over everything multiple times with a fine-toothed comb, but still...how did we get this wonderful, precious little person? How honored are we that anyone would hand over this little child to us to provide all his needs, care for him, protect him, and ensure that he receives all the love he deserves? How crazy that we would be trusted to do this, and that we would receive into our care this darling boy, and even crazier that he turns to us and trusts us for everything. He lies in his crib upon waking and confidently says, "Mama....Mama...." until I arrive (a little more loudly each time if I don't hop fast enough). He is the happiest little person you've ever seen each night when Papa comes home from work. He has completely accepted us as his parents.

Before the extra bedroom was Tyoma's room, it was the guest room. There was a photo frame in there that hangs from a ribbon, and I left it empty, planning to fill it with a good photo from our time in Kazakhstan. Last week I made a massive Shutterfly album with all our photos of Ust, Almaty, and Astana, so that Tyoma can see as many photos of his homeland as possible, and I also ordered a few prints. Last night I filled the frame with a shot of D and Tyoma in the car leaving the Consulate in Almaty, just about 12 hours before we went to the airport to return home.

I couldn't believe that Tyoma noticed it as soon as he got out of his crib this morning. He said he wanted to see the picture. I told him I'd just put it up there last night, and that it was a photo of him and Papa. "Coming home?" he asked. Wow, I thought. "Yes, baby, you were coming home," I said.

Meeming

2011-01-26T13:07:00.001-05:00

Shortly after Christmas, we visited one of the city rec centers to see what was available, and how shocked was I to discover we had a huge, indoor pool right in our backyard? Tyoma stared at the people swimming for a long time, and then started asking to go "meeming" himself, so we took him on the MLK holiday. He was terrified and loving it at the same time. He is a very brave boy and is willing to try anything, so although anyone could see he was very nervous, he got right in. The pool has a ramp that allows you to enter the pool gradually, and then we held onto him, but he stretched out on his back and on his front, kicked, moved his arms, and even went under three or four times (once involuntarily!). I thought that was pretty amazing for a two-year-old's first time in the water, and we were very proud of him.

And then I bought some new boots, and I'm including this photo for its sheer creepiness.

Tyoma speak

2011-01-20T14:15:00.000-05:00

I see that my last post touched a nerve; I also see that if you rank all those whose families/friends/co-workers/acquaintances have been dismissive or even rude about their adoptions, we're pretty far down on the list! If you read the comments left by readers, you'll see that others have been treated much worse than we have. I continue to be amazed at such rampant stupidity.

I do have another question for Kaz adoptive parents, though. Does anyone know what "Eedom!" (phonetic) means? Tyoma has always said this to us when he is irritated and wants us to back off. Of course it only amuses us, but our translators couldn't figure it out, and since it's made a comeback recently, I'd still like to figure out its origin. It could be an obscenity, for all we know, which would just make it that much funnier.

Other interesting Tyoma words: PLIGIT ( for Piglet, as in Winnie the Pooh), TAPATO (potato), DINNON (dinner), and HAMMON (hammer). Yes, I know all little ones have funny ways of pronouncing things, but I want to record these. He also adds an extra "in" to words ending in "ing." For instance, he might be "walkining" or "runnining" down the sidewalk. His English is impressive, however, and he only uses a handful of Russian words now. He continues to cling to "da" instead of "yes," although he gave up "nyet" shortly after we arrived home.

He also does what we call his Bill Cosby speak (you will either get that joke or you won't). He adds extra words to his sentences; for instance, when he needs his face cleaned after eating, he says "the cleaning of the face." The Russian language doesn't use articles, so perhaps he is indulging himself now that they are available to him.

He frequently claps and praises me after I use the bathroom ("Good job, Mama!"). Like the dog, he may think he outranks me in the family hierarchy, but if he doesn't start listening better, the hammer is going to come down!

He's obsessed with cleaning and enjoys pretending to vacuum and wiping things down, and he spent a good amount of time yesterday with the Swiffer.

Up next: my brave boy went swimming for the first time, and I'll post about that as soon as I download the photos.

The village, and my bitchy side

2011-01-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

I'm truly come to appreciate the saying, "It takes a village." Time and again I've realized how much nicer it would be if only we were closer to family, or if my close friends lived nearby so that we could enjoy our children together. I'm happy that my family is only two hours away; so far, they don't seem to mind hopping in the car and driving all the way up here for just a few hours with the little man. They are in love, and he loves them. But D's family is far away, and my closest friends live all around the country but nowhere near me. I have a friend who I've known for 30 years, and I've only seen her five-year-old once! My oldest friends are those from elementary school. It sucks that we aren't raising our kids together.

I keep thinking of a "simpler" time, when the neighborhoods or small towns were full of people you knew well, moms looked out for each other, there were lots of children who played together, and, if you go back far enough, dads were even home much of the time, plowing the fields or chopping wood or something. Doesn't that sound cozy? I lived in a small town once, and I didn't like it. But I can appreciate how nice it would be to know you had friends on every side.

And here's my gripe. I'm really interested in what my fellow bloggers have to say about this.

Over the past five years or so, everyone we knew had kids. We sent presents. We attended showers. We even attended showers and then birthday parties a few years later.

Most of these people are thrilled that we now have Tyoma. Our families and our good friends have been invariably supportive of our adoption and followed the entire process. But there are a lot of people, generally co-workers and friends who we don't talk to regularly, who haven't said a thing. We sent out our adoption announcements over a month ago, at the end of November. Yes yes, the holidays are a busy time, blah blah blah. The holidays are now well over. Where are these people? Why haven't they acknowledged our child?

Let me be clear that we are not looking for any more gifts. We need to add a room to the house to accommodate all that Tyoma has already received. But when I remember people who I considered friends, who I encouraged through one or two pregnancies, people whose kids I spent a lot of money on...I expect them to freaking call or at least send a congratulatory e-mail! The question D and I are asking is this: Are they just rude? Do they just suck? Is it because we're old and everyone is over the excitement of having kids? Is it because our baby is two and not a newborn? Or, worst of all, is it because he's adopted? Do adopted kids get treated differently? (Not when it comes our families, to be sure, and most people are even MORE excited for us because we waited so long. Still, when it comes to these soon-to-be ex-friends, I'm wondering.)

I am talking about only a handful of people. But I can tell you, there will be a lot fewer Christmas cards going out next year.

And let me once again add how much I appreciate the Kaz blogging community, even though I don't have time to keep up with it anymore. How interesting and moving that so many people whom I've never met have shown so much interest and support as we went through our process. My fellow bloggers sent many messages during our time in purgatory waiting for Tyoma's passport, and I haven't forgotten it. Isn't it telling that fellow adoptive parents, even if you don't really know them, can be more supportive than one's own friends? Kazapalooza, here we come.

Christmas photos (continued from my last post)

2010-12-30T13:19:00.000-05:00

At the ICE! show, in a parka big enough to swim in -

His first look at Christmas in our house -

Mass consumerism, and a happy boy -

Tyoma's first Christmas stocking was handmade by his Baba, which makes it special.

One more non-holiday tidbit: yesterday Tyoma was holding a peg from his hammer and peg set in between two of his fingers and blowing on it. If you can't picture that, I'll just explain that it looked like he was pretending to smoke! He wanted me to do it, so I took the peg and whistled into it, but he was not deterred. He quickly corrected me and told me to hold it between two fingers. No one in this household smokes, so we're wondering if this is something he remembers from the baby house. Yikes.

First Christmas

2010-12-29T14:48:00.001-05:00

I'm not really sure where to start in order to catch things up, so I will just go in chronological order. First, a couple of things to record. You can guess that we say, "good boy!" and "I'm proud of you!" a lot, especially when SOMEONE remembers to go on his big boy potty instead of in his pants. Our influence has been seen a couple of times recently - once when D completed a puzzle he was working on with Tyoma, and Tyoma gave him his prettiest smile, clapped his hands and shouted, "Good job, Papa! I proud you!" He was so excited that his papa could do one of his puzzles all by himself. He was pleased again when he congratulated me on my successful use of the bathroom by telling me, "Good boy!"

On to Christmas. I have so much to say about this season that I can't possibly articulate it all. We visited the ICE! show on Christmas Eve; if you have one in your city, you must go, and if you don't, you need to get on a plane and find one. Calling it an ice sculpture show doesn't even touch it. Tyoma was delighted and stunned and so much fun to watch. He was very interested in the Grinch but also a bit afraid. After we returned home we prepared milk and cookies for Santa, which was a mistake because Tyoma thought they were for him and cried when he wasn't allowed to have all the cookies. But on Christmas morning we all awoke to him yelling, "Mama, come HERE!" because he had seen that Santa left him a little stuffed hedgehog right in the middle of his room (if you don't remember, we have a hedgehog theme going which started during our bonding period when he called a pinecone a hedgehog). He could see it from his crib and wanted to get out. So we admired the hedgehog for a few minutes, and bless his heart, my little darling, who is used to having so little, thought that was the only thing Santa had left for him. Up to now, his Christmas has never been special, and he hasn't received presents, and he hasn't looked forward to the day the way so many American children do - but this year, he understood about presents and Santa, and in receiving just one gift, he couldn't have been happier. He would have been content with his hedgehog, however...

Doesn't Santa also leave presents under the tree? Doesn't he leave them in your stocking? Maybe we should look and see! I took his hand, and we walked downstairs. "Presents!" he sighed. Really, for a first Christmas, we did well with the big, obvious gifts. He had a tent waiting downstairs with a sled sticking out of it, and on the sled was a big Steiff bear. So he didn't even have to rip anything open - there were large, shiny gifts right there in his face, and then of course, he still had a lot to tear into. He carefully opened the first couple of gifts. I think it will be a while before we can get him to really rip that paper apart.

The tent still sits conspicuously in the middle of our living space. He calls it a "Tyoma dom" - dom being the Russian word for house. He doesn't get what the sled is for, but he likes to sit in it and be pulled around the living room. There will be snow before winter is over, I'm sure.

We also received a lovely gift on Christmas Eve. I checked the mail one last time to find that his citizenship certificate had finally arrived, and I have to admit, seeing it there in black and white made me a little teary-eyed. I feel somehow that this offers him some protection. It was so hard getting him out of his birth country. Now he has another country standing behind him.

The day after Christmas, as D and I were hovering over him at bedtime, he suddenly looked as though he were going to cry. He'd been so happy, I couldn't imagine what was bothering him. We asked why he was sad. What's wrong? Are you crying? He shook his head a bit, and said, "Not sad. Happy."

Can a two-year-old cry from happiness? Is he able to understand that his life has really changed, and could he be struck by that fact on the day after Christmas, when everything was quiet and he was snugged up safe and sound in his own bed with his own family? I find it hard to believe, but that is what he said.

No one could be more precious to us. My only regret is when I consider that we might have missed him somehow, and he could have spent his life in an orphanage...and then I remember the others who are still there. As my mom said, if every child had this much love, there would be no problems in the world.

The photos from yesterday's post

2010-12-18T15:33:00.000-05:00

Meeting Grandpa and Grandmommie for the first time, and opening presents from his new family.

His favorite duck from storytime...he yells "storytime!" when we pass the library.

On the way to meet Santa.

Most of the time, he's really good, but sometimes, he gets this look...our camera didn't take good photos due to the lighting here, but of course we have the professional Santa shots.

Playing in the snow with Auntie K (who is at our house A LOT) and Tommy dog.

Family, Santa, and Tyoma talk

2010-12-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we visited Texas to see D's extended family and to introduce them to Tyoma. It was a very pleasant and happy trip, as everyone was excited to meet him and unanimously pronounced him delightful. D's parents hadn't yet had a chance to meet him, so of course that was a long-anticipated event. Tyoma said "Grampa" within about ten minutes, but "Grandmommie" took a little longer (as you would expect, since that's a mouthful)! We didn't get to visit long enough, but he definitely remembers who these important people are. D has a large family group with lots of cousins, and it was nice to see everyone and meet another new family member, who was not quite three months old. We also saw D's friend, Calvin, who has more than earned the right to be called Uncle. Finally, we participated in our favorite activity while visiting the southwest: eating as many Jack-in-the-Box tacos as possible. I had nine in three days. It was not enough to last me until next time.

Yesterday we had a nice snowfall. Keeping in mind that Tyoma was probably never allowed out of the baby house between October and April and has never played in the snow before (though he's seen plenty of it), we took him out for a while, but he got cold after about 20 minutes. He was thrilled with the concept of a snowball and kept picking up handfuls of snow and dumping them on the dog, who is happily waterproof and didn't mind at all.

On Tuesday we visited Santa. Tyoma was very excited at the prospect but naturally got very shy when the moment came. Santa couldn't have been nicer, especially after I explained the situation. He took his time and didn't ask Tyoma a lot of questions he couldn't answer. Tyoma was straight-faced, and the photos show a pretty nervous boy, but afterwards he was thrilled that he met Santa.

Finally, just a few Tyoma-isms that I want to record. He has started saying, "pizza, please" and "oh my gosh." I do not know the origin of either of these sayings. He also has a new game wherein you are expected to lie down on the floor and let him vacuum you. He does this with a vacuum attachment or with a kitchen spoon - either does the job equally well, as he makes the vacuum noise himself, complete with a power down tapering off of sound. You must keep in mind that you cannot be vacuumed unless you have at least two placemats from the dining table laying on top of you.

"Snowflakes," is actually pronounced "flow cakes." My favorite.

Tyoma also has a tell when he poops. I recognized it right away because my sister did the same thing when she was little. (I don't know if she still does it - I should ask.) He stops what he's doing, his eyes turn red and water, and he usually grunts. I started saying, "here it comes" whenever I was party to it, and so the other day, he turned, looked at me with his red, sad eyes, and grunted out, "Kakat - here it comes." Am I a bad parent because I laugh at my baby?

He's quite taken with the children's show "Yo Gabba Gabba." On this show they often talk about having a party in your tummy when you eat something good. Tyoma has taken to saying "party tummy" when he likes something. He also uses "yummy tummy," but the two things are separate and distinct and should not be used by anyone who doesn't know the difference.

Yes, yes, I have more photos to be downloaded later. And I am still looking for a preschool, though today I discovered that our city's rec center offers a lot of wonderful options.

A plug for me

2010-12-08T12:33:00.000-05:00

If you haven't noticed, there is a link on the right side of the blog to a travel security site called CountryBrief. This is my business, and I will now try to sell you something.

If you travel frequently, or work for a business which sends employees abroad, or are connected with a school or university which participates in an overseas study program, your students or employees or co-workers should be receiving travel security training. It's something that most people don't realize they need until they have the training...and then they realize what they didn't know before.

I started the business after doing this training for federal employees, because it's actually useful for anyone who travels, and is applicable to any country, not just the "scary" ones.

Click on the link or visit www.countrybrief.com. Thanks for indulging me! Now back to Tyoma.

On the Night You Were Born

2010-12-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

I have to recommend a book I bought Tyoma before we even traveled to Kazakhstan. It's called "On the Night You Were Born." He loves it, and every time I read it, I'm so glad I found it. It's not adoption-specific, but it goes on and on about how happy everyone in the world was on the night the child was born. It has a picture of two polar bears dancing on the cover. (We inadvertently started a polar bear theme early on: there was a bear on the first shirt we gave him, they're on the book we bought, he has polar bear pajamas, and in the first photo we have of him, taken on the day he arrived at the baby house, he was wearing a polar bear shirt.)

We've been trying hard to explain what Santa does. Yesterday I reminded him that Santa packs all those toys on his sled and asked who he gives all the toys to. Tyoma responded, "Nanny."

D wrote his name out today and asked him what that word was, and he read it. We've shown him his name many times, but this surprised us.

I am looking for a two mornings a week preschool, but in this overcrowded community (remember the wait list at storytime?), I can't find anywhere without a wait list. Urgh.

Tyoma's baby book

2010-12-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

Because I can't find an appropriate baby book for a child adopted at age two, this blog is about to morph into one. I've already written it as a record for Tyoma to have when he is older; now I'm about to add little details which might be more than the average blogger wants to read, but these little facts and stories about Tyoma will be for us and for him to have later.

About a week ago, I was lying on the floor in Tyoma's room waiting for him to fall asleep, and I started thinking about domestic vs. international adoption. Our big fear with domestic adoption is that the bio parents always seem to come back. Either an open adoption is set up from the beginning, or you have to worry for years afterward that something will go wrong, someone will change their minds, and your status as the parents of your child will be questioned. I will never forget the domestic adoption disputes that happened when I was in high school. I remember watching tv coverage as a two-year-old girl was taken screaming from the only parents she'd ever known. Thinking of those cases was enough to push us forcefully toward international adoption, and as I lay on the floor that night, I thought how good it felt to know that no one could ever take Tyoma away from us. It was a tough ride at the beginning, but he is ours now, and we don't ever have to worry about someone else trying to take him.

On Saturday night after Thanksgiving, D and I put up the Christmas tree after Tyoma went to bed. We decided it would be too crazy to have him help with it at this age, so instead, we decided to surprise him. We put up the tree and then woke him at the usual time when he has a last chance to use his potty chair and change his diaper. After that, we brought him downstairs. My parents were here, and camera flashes were popping as though we had paparazzi in our living room. He stared and stared at the tree. Not only was he sleepy, but he was overwhelmed at having a huge, beautiful, decorated tree standing in his house. We sat on the floor and just looked at it for a long time, and whenever he spoke, it was in a whisper. We admired it for quite a while, and he was very gentle with the ornaments. A couple of days later, he was delighted to plug the lights in and then show me that he was able to do it himself. He was so proud at lighting the tree, I didn't have the heart to get after him for touching the plug. We'd been careful to do it when he wasn't looking - how he figured it out, I don't know.

Tyoma is also obsessed with Santa, and I'm unsure why. We've talked a bit about Santa bringing presents, but even without that information, he was digging him from day one. When reciting the names of his family the other day, he even threw Santa's name in there. He was not "Santa Claus," but "Santa (our last name)."

He's been playing with a few items under the tree that are unbreakable. On Monday we went for a walk outside, and he wanted to take Baby Jesus along. We are only beginning to talk about God, but I told him the baby's name. He tried very hard to learn it, as he does with almost anything new, but mostly it came out as "Jeen-jus." Baby Jesus made it back from our walk, and we haven't lost him yet, though he has been found in several places all over the living room and is often cooked in a pot with imaginary concoctions.

Yesterday, we visited D's work for a baby shower. D's co-workers were so generous not only to throw us the party, but to give Tyoma some wonderful gifts. As we returned to the parking garage, which was three blocks away and around a corner, Tyoma picked out the garage entrance! How smart is that? How could he possibly remember where we parked? He is so clever, and we are amazed by him all the time. (This is a photo from an earlier visit to D's office.)

His Russian accent is disappearing, which is good, because we want him to sound like the other kids, but it's sad too. It was so cute. Today at the grocery store, he was lying down in the cart and saying "Oh no, I fell down!" but it came out with this weird accent, like a little Scottish boy. "Oh no, Ah fell doon!"

We tried to get him interested in Rudolph last night, as I'm a lover of all Christmas specials, but I think he's still too young. He rarely watches anything for more than a few minutes.

Finally, one last photo of him in his "underwater monkey" pajamas, just because I love him in them.

Non-traditional

2010-11-25T22:02:00.000-05:00

You might remember that I encountered an Indian man on the street in Amsterdam who told me that I would have something very big happen in my life on November 21. Well, it came and went, and unless something happened that day which hasn't revealed itself to me, nothing eventful occurred.

We had a quiet Thanksgiving at home. We watched the Macy's parade, which didn't hold his interest until Santa made an appearance, and then he was really into that. Since he doesn't understand Christmas yet, I'm unsure why Santa is so enthralling, but he is. My sister is here, and she and I took the opportunity to see a movie today, which was wonderful, as I am a movie fiend. It's so nice to get out on my own, and yet I find when I am away from little one, even for a movie, I miss him.

For the past few years we've gone to a nice restaurant for Thanksgiving, usually with a friend or relative or two, but with a two-year-old we elected to go to Pizzeria Uno. There was a couple there who was really interested in us. They cracked their necks to turn around looking when we came in, because they apparently saw my sister and I and thought Tyoma had two mommies. Even after we sat down - all four of us - with D feeding Tyoma, they walked by a few times, looking hard at our table, and almost coming to a standstill as they passed. I don't know what the problem was, but it made dinner interesting.

Tyoma is using English almost exclusively now. There are only a few Russian words that he clings to, and we hate to see them all go. He seems to love having a family. Yesterday he was sitting in one of his empty toy bins waving a plastic spoon at the ceiling and yelling the names of all his new family members. He frequently recites his litany of "Mama and Papa and Tyoma" or "Mama and Papa and Tommy and Tyoma" or some variation which might go on and on and list each of us several times.

I am stating the obvious when I say we have much to be thankful for, and we are so grateful for our happy, healthy, beautiful, smart, loving little boy. And now I am going to watch "Casino Royale," one of the better Bond movies, which is a fine ending to a very good day.

Church and our new normal

2010-11-23T13:37:00.000-05:00

We had a very full weekend. Actually, everything's been full. Last week, Tyoma visited D at his office and was a big hit. Everyone at D's work has been so encouraging of this whole thing, including his bosses who were supportive of him taking so much time off. We stayed for quite a while and met everyone and got a couple of very nice gifts, and we'll be going back soon. Tyoma sat on the floor and colored while everyone stood in a circle and gaped at him and talked over his head. One of D's bosses speaks Russian and tried it out, but Tyoma hasn't responded yet to anyone using Russian on him here in the US. We still use a few words which are probably unnecessary, but he seems to have moved on.

On Saturday, we attended a birthday party given by one of D's co-workers. The party was at a children's play place and was awesome. I think all the adults enjoyed it just as much as the kids, as we were allowed on all the bouncy bounces too, and most of us got in a lot of climbing, jumping, and sliding. Tyoma sat by himself with the other kids (meaning D and I were allowed to be a few feet away) and had some pizza and a cupcake. If you had told me a year ago that I would be up early enough to attend a 9:30 am birthday party a half hour's drive away, and get there with time to spare, I would have said you were nuts. Getting up around 6 am. is my new normal.

On Sunday, I thought it might be time to try church. We are not consistent about attending, but we joined last spring, as I want Tyoma to be raised in a church as D and I were. We don't know that many people there, but they have been praying for us, and Tyoma was introduced to them early in the service. He did really well - better than I expected - but he does enjoy music, so the singing kept him interested. We took off as the sermon started, as he was showing signs of impending noisiness. We visited the nursery just to check it out and show it to him. I don't intend to leave him there anytime soon, as I don't intend to leave him anywhere without one of us anytime soon, but he seemed to really like it. There were only five other kids in his age group, and he jumped right in and played with them. This is really heartening. I was so glad to see him opening up a little and showing some confidence. All the new toys didn't hurt.

Today while crossing the street and pulling along both boy and dog, a woman stopped to allow us through the crosswalk, and as she passed she rolled down her window and yelled, "Adorable!" Perhaps she liked my coat or my dog, but I'm going to guess that was directed at Tyoma. Well, he is.

As for D and I, things are still settling. Tyoma has explored enough around the house that we can leave him alone for a minute or two and know that he's not getting into anything he shouldn't. He is comfortable here, and we may have found a rhythm and a routine that make everything easier. It was an adjustment for me to find ways to entertain a two-year-old for hours each day, and although tv time is limited, he doesn't seem that interested in it. Imagine a kid who can't be distracted by television! Many of the same shows we watched in Ust are also on here (theme songs lead to unpleasant flashbacks for me), but he doesn't watch for more than a few minutes.

When we leave the house, I almost always remember sippy cup, diaper, wipes, coloring book, crayons or pencils, and bib (list varies depending on destination and circumstances). It appears that I can stay up until 11 and get up before the kiddo and still feel rested, although there isn't much down time. I miss "How I Met Your Mother," but can usually squeeze in "30 Rock" and "Rules of Engagement" which start after Tyoma's bedtime. No 10 pm. shows though, as I need my rest! I have been able to clean my house and still have a few minutes to sit on the couch and stare off into space. Sure, the upstairs smells like poo quite frequently, but everything is mostly picked up and clean. It's a good thing I enjoy doing laundry, because one little person produces a lot of it.

More photos to come. Time to vegetate until naptime is over and duty calls.

Christmas is coming

2010-11-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

Last night we went to the holiday festivities that begin the season in a shopping area near our home. There is a large open area surrounded by shops and restaurants, and in the middle, during the winter, is a skating rink. There are also a lot of lighted trees, and sometimes live music, so it's very festive.

We walked around a bit and admired the trees and the very large horses that pull the "carriage rides," which are really huge carts packed with people that, let's face it, aren't very Christmasy as they are traveling on heavily-trafficked city streets. But Tyoma liked the horses, anyway. There was a guy in stilts who D and I thought was pretty creepy, but Tyoma seemed ok with it. They were piles of stuffed bears at the free drawing table, and our friend who told us about the event and met us there went right up and asked for one for Tyoma (she's so great). Most importantly, Santa was there. Oh my. Tyoma has seen pictures of Santa and can identify him, but has no idea what he does yet or what Christmas is about. Even so, he wanted to meet him.

The line wasn't long. Santa and Mrs. Claus were just standing there with a basket of candy spending a moment with each child who approached. Tyoma went right up to them but wasn't overly friendly and didn't speak. We told them he wasn't really familiar with the scenario and that he'd only been home for couple of weeks. Santa leaned down and said something to him. I caught the word "rus," but not the rest, so I don't know what it was - perhaps Santa spoke Russian. Mrs. Claus was very, very kind. They spent a little extra time with him. It was really touching. They made an excellent Claus couple, both in looks and demeanor. Tyoma was happy to help himself to some candy and seemed pleased to have met them both. They wished us well. We will still do the mall visit and photo op with another Santa somewhere, but I can't imagine it going any better. Those two were great, and even though he didn't really get what was happening, we loved it.

If he had grown up in Ust, he would never have felt he missed out by not meeting Santa - but to me, it's an integral part of childhood, and I love that he's getting to experience it, and I love that we're able to give it to him.

Today we took him to a park near our house. We're very fortunate that we have three parks within walking distance, and I'd never been to the play area at one and didn't realize how nice it was. It was packed with kids, and he did really well. He actually played without keeping a constant eye on us, which made me really happy. He approached a few of the kids, and we heard him declaring, "I don't know!" with this exaggerated squat and hand gesture. He does it sometimes to us, but we don't think he knows what it means. I don't know what was going on in his head that he was saying this as a greeting to other kids, but at least he was trying. Pretty funny stuff.

He also has some new towels. Here, he is a Tyoma Monster. You may also admire his lion.

Different

2010-11-13T13:54:00.000-05:00

We live very close to a huge library, so I looked into story time for Tyoma. I found out they do it twice a week for his age group, so yesterday we trundled up there and got there around ten minutes before it started. Other moms and kids started showing up, and I heard one mom tell her kids, "We have to sit here. We have to go in last because we're on the wait list." I figured this was some ploy. She wanted them to sit at the back so that they could leave in case one of the kids was nuts, right? But finally I said, "There isn't really a list, is there?" and I learned that in our population-dense area, you have to sign up for story time! Seriously? What kind of place is this? I'm supposed to stand outside the door (there is a room for story time, which is why the space is limited), watch the other kids go in, and then tell him we can't join them? It might not be a big deal, actually, since he's pretty excited by the rows and rows of books anyway, and I'm not sure he even understands why we're there, but still, it's the principle!

I went to the desk, we signed up, and we found out that you can sign up for Tuesday OR Friday (not both!), and you can do it a week ahead of time. So we signed up for next week (number one on the wait list) and then waited to see what would happen for today's story. The library lady stands at the door and calls each child's name to see who has actually shown up, and then moves to the wait list. As it turns out, there were only three of us left hanging, so she let us all in, which was nice of her.

We sat in a group of perhaps 25 moms/nannies and their kids. I had to find a place for our coats - there must be someplace where the others stashed theirs, but I'm new, and I didn't know. We sat on the floor toward the back, and Tyoma got on my lap. It turns out there is a lot to story time. There is singing and jumping up and down and celebrating what color you are wearing that day. All of which is fine, and I hope he learns to enjoy it, but let me tell you something. Having our fingers sing to each other doesn't come easily to me. I'm not craftsy. I don't talk to Tyoma in a high-pitched voice. I play with him and I'm silly with him, but I'm a tomboy, and some mommy things that others do just aren't in my repertoire. It doesn't mean they're wrong, they're just not me. I'm about 100 times more likely to climb a tree with Tyoma if we ever live somewhere that tree-climbing is done than I am to ever bake anything from scratch. There's nothing wrong with baking, I'm just not good at a lot of "girl" stuff.

So I tried to follow the songs, and Tyoma didn't know what to do. He'd never heard them before and didn't know the words. He didn't know when he was supposed to jump up and down or shake his hands or twirl around. Was it because it was our first time there, or because he didn't understand the words, or because he'd never seen such a spectacle and didn't know what to make of it? There were other kids who didn't participate, either, and then there were the veterans who knew every word. And although he wasn't the only one who just sat there with me and looked confused, I wanted to cry because he seemed so lost. He didn't want to say hello to the other kids. He didn't understand what was happening. It seemed like he couldn't even follow the stories, although we read at least a couple of books a day at home.

I felt so keenly (and perhaps over-protectively) that he was different from the others. Looking back on it now, it seems like it's not a big deal and might have been all in my head. Some of the other kids were shy, too. He just needs a little more time with English and some more experience with groups of kids his age. In any case, we're on the list for next Tuesday, so we'll see how that goes. Story time ends with coloring and a sticker from the library lady, and he was good with that part of it. He likes to color, and he likes his stickers.

We are set to have a beautiful weekend here. The trees are just gorgeous. For the first time in perhaps a year, we got up early enough to go to the Saturday farmer's market in our town. We live in a suburb with a beautiful historic area, but we used to sleep too late to get to the market before it was over. Today we arrived with plenty of time to spare (parents get up early!). There we were, in my favorite part of town, Christmas and food shopping on a beautiful fall day with our little man riding along in his stroller. Nice. I knocked out three gifts in about half an hour, and we topped it off at Starbuck's, which D hates, but he loves the pumpkin cream cheese muffins which are only offered at this time of year. I had a peppermint mocha, there were two butter cookies for Tyoma, and it was all good. (Starbuck's also contributes to my good holiday-time feelings.) Even better, a Salvation Army bellringer showed up and told the barista he was checking in before setting up outside. She kindly gave him his coffee for free, and I was excited by the prospect of being a good example for Tyoma and donating to the bellringer. (My mom ALWAYS gave money to the bellringer, even when we didn't have any, and I think this is important. Love the Salvation Army.) So we gave him a few bucks, which Tyoma didn't even pick up on, of course, but it's a good start, and maybe he noticed subliminally.

Then - this is a small thing - we stopped at the Crate and Barrel outlet. Last year they had this design called "snowpup" which was just a little white dog in Christmasy gear. They had a tiny little baby-sized mug which I didn't buy then, for some reason, and I've been looking for it ever since. I found it today! Snowpup mug for Tyoma completed the morning.

Tonight we are going to a big Christmas festival (early, isn't it, but I don't mind!) in another groovy part of town. Supposedly there will be horses, so that should be fun and perhaps a little scary, but I will have to post about that later.

Briefly

2010-11-11T21:36:00.000-05:00

First, let me tell you that we will probably not release little A's name. Since we haven't said my name, or D's name, we won't say his. That said, I've been in e-mail touch with some of you, and some of you are friends on Facebook, etc., etc., so our identities aren't exactly secret, but it's a gesture where at least some crazy lurker nutjob trying to find my beautiful boy won't be able to google his name. That's really the only explanation I can offer. "Little A" refers both to his birth name (now his middle name) and his new first name. I might also start referring to him as Tyoma, which is a nickname we use. It's easier to type than "little A."

I'm feeling good about how everything is settling. Tyoma has done so well from the beginning. I am so impressed that he has slept in his crib from the first night. He seems to really enjoy it, and he talks about his room all the time. There is definitely pride of ownership going on. There have been more tantrums than before over the last few days, and I blame D's return to work. Tyoma loves his papa and has not really gotten over his earlier absence, judging by the way he sticks closely to him, so I think he's a little upset that papa can't hang around all the time like I can. And for the record, Papa doesn't like it, either.

I am looking for a preschool where Tyoma can visit around two mornings a week. I keep wondering if he's missing all of his groupmates, and if he'd enjoy playing with other children. When we visit the park he seems disinterested and a little shy when other kids show up, although he just adores our neighbors' daughter, who is a year older than he is. It's not like my boy to be shy or nervous. On the other hand, I don't want to drop him off somewhere that he might mistake for a new baby house. I want him to be good and secure before I leave him anywhere.

He saw his new doctor last week. The guy did some developmental tests and said he was impressed. Isn't that nice? He was asking Tyoma to identify some pictures and was pleased that he could do it in English. This morning we took him for some bloodwork to verify his vaccinations. We did it today so that D could join us, as he was off work for the holiday. Our little guy is so brave. I wonder how much of his stiff upper lip comes from his little personality and how much from his baby house discipline, but whichever one it is, he sat very still and didn't move while they took his blood, though he cried the whole time. (I only cried for a minute.)

What else? My sister is trying to teach him to say "That's what she said." We're getting so many wonderful gifts that I've had to put most of them in the other room and hide them until I can pull them out later, one at a time. The kid is already overwhelmed from all the nice stuff he's gotten. Our old dog is trying to adjust, and we're trying to keep Tyoma from loving him too much. Tyoma is just delighted with him, but Tommy needs to get away sometimes and sleep without a little one trying to snuggle up or kiss him or touch his paws all the time. Tyoma fell in love with Tommy right away and comes running at him first thing in the morning...."TOMMY TOMMY TOMMY TOMMY!"

I know I'm forgetting a lot, but this is about sending out a post and getting to bed on time. I did my best tonight to catch up on everyone else's blogs, which means I basically read everyone's most recent posts. I'm missing out on a lot, but wow! There is just no time anymore. I want to wish all the best to Pam, who is there right now, and S and R, who are traveling soon. I wish I had time to kick back and read more, because I still love following everyone's personal tale, but until I find that preschool, it's just not happening.

And the photos

2010-11-05T13:15:00.000-04:00

Leaving the Consulate...

In pajama pants on the plane after his jeans got wet.

Laughing with Baba in the car on the way home.

A room all for himself!

He's always brave, but the first haircut was scary. Now he looks a little Henry V meets Hitler Youth.

Too cool for school. He loves his sunglasses and always wears them in the car. Only dorks use sunshades.

Homecoming, part II

2010-11-04T15:19:00.002-04:00

I hate to just crank this out, but I do want to update everyone and get my thoughts down, and there is simply not enough time in the day right now! Our little guy is settling really, really well, and we are thankful that his adjustment is so easy; once I catch everything up, it will be easy to move forward, but it's the three-month backlog that's killing me.

Where did I leave off? I puked, I felt better, he refused to sleep until about half an hour before we landed. Of course. The flight attendants just went crazy over him. They gave us each a glass of champagne to celebrate, which was really thoughtful. We were just about the last people off the plane, but immigration was a breeze. (I do, in fact, now appreciate my citizenship more than I did before - not because I think the US should go around bossing every other country on the planet or expecting everyone to be like us, but because I am grateful for ALL we have, which encompasses everything from my possessions to my freedoms. Freedom to walk down the street without seeing five billboards featuring pictures of the president!) We weren't allowed photos in the immigration area, but we were both happy to know that our boy is an American now. He is no longer at the mercy of a foreign government's red tape, and to me, especially, who has felt so powerless for the last month, that was a good feeling. The officer was very pleasant, opened the big sealed envelope, etc., etc., everything was pretty quick, and then we moved toward the big double doors that release you to the world and which, I knew, concealed my waiting family. There were drug dogs on patrol, and I should record that little A's first English word as an American was "beagle."

Before I could spot anyone, I heard someone say, "There they are!" and my mom was running around the barrier. They had a huge "welcome home" sign with all our names on it, and my mom hit us all with big hugs. The relief of seeing my mom made me break down for a second (for this type of event, it always does). Little guy was pretty quiet but didn't seem overwhelmed by the sight of our crazy family. He stayed in his stroller while everyone poked at him and loaded him up with presents right there in the waiting area. My aunt, cousin, and grandmother didn't come back to the house so as to give him some peace, and my parents and sister stayed at a hotel, though I think that was unnecessary. They could have run up and down the stairs all night screaming, and I think we would have slept through it.

One neighbor stopped by to ask if we needed anything from Babies R Us, then came back with a carload of diapers and gifts - really generous stuff. Another came by with flowers. At that point I was lying on the floor, nearly unconscious. Little A fell asleep on my sister, and they put him to bed; I don't even remember my family leaving. For perhaps the first time in my life, I went to bed without even brushing my teeth. That was about 48 hours of wakefulness and a long time without a shower or teeth-brushing, but we were so wiped out. D's mom called shortly after we went to bed, and he said I gave him a lecture that he should have called her first, but I have no memory of any of that.

We woke up around 6:15 the next morning, and I've felt rested ever since. (Jet lag is so much easier traveling westbound.) My parents and sister and her boyfriend came back and spent the day, and then we asked my parents to spend another night, which they did because they always, always help, and it was nice to have four more eyes on little squirt.

Little A wanted to check everything out, of course, but he's been really, really good. He talks about his room, and his car, which he loves and can't get enough of, and his house, and he seems really comfortable here. It's like he knows we are here for good and there will be no more traveling for a while. He's very good with our Tommy dog (who is pretty ambivalent about him and just wants some quiet), and loves him to pieces. I think showing him photos of everything before we came was really important. He loves dogs but has been afraid to approach them, but he went right up to Tommy.

Over the past three days that D and I and little A have been by ourselves here, we've just been catching up, running errands, getting haircuts and stuff like that. He has his first doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm glad I made the appointment before we left home, because his lymph nodes have been swollen since he left the baby house, and I want to see what that is about. He also had his first haircut yesterday. You can tell when he is afraid, but he's very brave and doesn't whimper.

We didn't do anything at all for Halloween. We don't even have a pumpkin yet, though I'd like to get a couple before Christmas is upon us. I still find it strange to have come home to find the seasons have completely turned. It feels like Christmas already - the weather, the darkness first thing in the morning, the feeling that I have much to accomplish, but most of the things I need to do are fun...

I am amazed at our little family. Little A even sleeps in his new bed without any fuss and seems to really like it. We go through the same book-singing-cuddling routine that we did in the hotel, but he is not afraid to be alone. I expected that we'd have to sleep by him for a while, as a lot of adoptive parents do, but he loves his room and new things so much that he is really comfortable. Each morning we go to check on him, and if he is already awake, he sits up and says, "Papa!" or "Mama!" and usually "good morning!" He also knows blue, red, green, and yellow, and can count all the way to five now in English, although "five" is usually still in Russian. He frequently, for no reason, will say "Mama and Papa and (little A)" or "Papa and (little A)" or "Mama and (little A) and Mama and Papa and (little A)" or some other variation. I guess he likes the three of us being together. Happiness.

I will get more pictures posted soon. Nothing has been downloaded since we got home. D was right that our carpet is blissfully luxurious...it truly is wonderful to be home. It's not just "my" bed and kitchen and shower, it's the quality of all that we have and the fact that our things are familiar, chosen and used by me. In the past five days I've had Chipotle and tamales and Lebanese and barbeque. I've noticed that the tree outside our back window is more gorgeous in its fall colors than I ever remember seeing it, and praise the Lord, today I finally got a haircut!

Homecoming

2010-10-31T15:07:00.000-04:00

All I can say is WHEW. I know you are waiting for details...but we were awake for something like 48 hours and then crashed out. The problem with the Consulate was all a misunderstanding. They were very nice. Even the security guards were very kind. They are locals employed by the State Department. Security is very tight there to the extent that they escort you up in the elevator. Unfortunately, no pictures are allowed.

While we waited there, our driver turned to me and said he would pick us up at midnight to go the airport, and then, I realized: tonight we are going HOME.

Little A did wonderfully on the plane, but that is just a hell flight. We left for the airport at midnight, so there was no sleep the night before. Then three hours at the airport (which is nicer than I remembered), seven hours to Frankfurt, another three hours, then nine hours to home. Little guy slept about halfway to Frankfurt, and then was WIDE AWAKE on the next flight. For nine hours. D and I were so desperately tired, but there was no sleeping, really. Little A was very well-behaved and didn't fuss, but he did expect to be entertained, of course, so that was tough. I was a little under the weather from something I ate, and for the first time in my life, I puked on the plane. In a bag. In front of everyone. We couldn't find the airsick bag, so I grabbed the clear plastic Lufthansa uses to keep their magazines covered. D said it was like an aquarium, since everyone got to see and enjoy it. D had more than his share of responsibility, as I just wanted to pass out and couldn't stand the sight of food long enough to even feed the kid.

Therefore, we were pretty exhausted and delirious by the time we got home but got our second wind upon arrival. You will have to wait for that story; I'm a little busy right now. But we are home, home, home!

Up in the Air

2010-10-29T16:25:00.000-04:00

We awoke this morning excited at the prospect of our Consular appointment. (Just for clarification, the Embassy is in Astana, the new capital. The Consulate, which handles visa matters, is still in the old capital, Almaty.) We went to breakfast and came back to the room to await a phone call from our coordinator, because we didn't know yet what time our appointment would be. We waited, and waited. The Consulate is open from 9 until 6, so we had no idea what to expect. At 10, we started calling our coordinator every half hour. No answer, no voicemail option. Shortly after noon, our coordinator's father, who works as part of his team, called to tell us he'd be picking us up at 2:30. Great! He told us to bring certain documents with us. Wait a minute. These documents were given to the coordinator on Sunday, when I signed all our paperwork and turned everything over to him. The coordinator has everything we need to file. Where is the coordinator? In Astana, a plane ride away from here.

Excuse me while my head explodes. There is some kind of disconnect here. We agree to go at 2:30 as scheduled (of course). I continue to try to contact the coordinator. I call the US coordinator on her cell phone, even though it is almost 11 pm. where she lives. She is very pleasant and goes to work on the problem.

She calls me back. She has contacted someone else on the coordinator's team, who says everything is in order, but no one can really explain this question about the documents. Where are they? Either the coordinator filed ALL the documents, and we don't need to bring them with us because the Consulate already has them, or the coordinator is coming back from Astana as we speak and bringing them with him, or the coordinator believes I still have them and doesn't remember he took them on Sunday...in which case, there is going to be a major problem. And I mean major.

In an hour we will go to the Consulate and await our fate. Either everything is in order but someone misunderstood something along the way, or something is missing that will delay our departure by several days, because it is Friday and nothing will be done over the weekend. NO NO NO NO NO. Did I say yesterday that I feel so much better with D here that I no longer feel that each day is hard to bear? Well, I was wrong. I want out of here. I want to go home tomorrow. I do not want to spend another $200+ per day sitting here in Almaty, no matter how green it is!

If you don't see a post tomorrow, that's good news because it means we are the hell out of Dodge. If you see a new post, be warned that it will be laced with profanity and will burn your eyes to read.

***This was sent in the middle of the night, and they have since heard that everything worked out. I didn't want everyone to worry, so I thought I'd post this little note! -Auntie

Papa's Return

2010-10-28T13:14:00.000-04:00

One thing I forgot to mention from last night: in looking at his books, little A is learning the names of more and more animals. He recently learned "chicken" as in the mama chicken and the baby chick. Yesterday when we bought lunch at the Chinese place, I told him we were eating dumplings and chicken. You could see the wheels turning, and his eyes got a little bigger..."chicken?" he said, as he looked at the box. That's my little vegetarian in the making, perhaps, but yesterday he shoveled it right down.

Last night at about 3 am., D arrived back in Almaty. We hadn't planned on waking up little A, but he woke up all by himself. He seemed a little grumpy toward D - a little irritated at his departure and unexpected reappearance. This morning was a different story, however. He was so snuggly, giggly and happy, and he didn't let D out of his sight all day. We took the cable car up to Kok-Tobe, a mountain south of the city which has been turned into an entertainment center. With fall well advanced, a lot of things were closed. None of the restaurants were open, but we saw the animals at the little zoo, little A played at the playground, and we saw the famous random Beatles monument. Unfortunately, the city wasn't easy to see with its layer of smog and haze, but the cable car ride was kind of fun, and there was some good souvenir shopping.

I will admit that on the walk back we went into the Pizza Hut that I saw yesterday. It was there, and it was convenient. It wasn't exactly the same as home, but it was pretty good. This was followed by a very long nap for D and little A. Tonight we made a last stop at the market and had dinner on the patio of Coffeemania, which is next to Madlyn. They had very good salads and tea, and it was very pleasant sitting outside. The weather has been just perfect the last couple of days, and it's nice to be out sitting or walking under blue skies and through fallen leaves.

It was a very nice day, to say the least, enjoying time as a family. I feel completely different with D here. I am no longer stressed about taking care of a little one all by myself in a foreign country. Now we are a family again. Not only do I get to see my husband for the first time in a month, but I have some help with little A, which makes a big difference in my stress level and allows me to enjoy my little guy. In the past month, I felt I was losing time; when I should have been enjoying him and playing with him, I was wondering how long we were going to be stuck here and when I would have another adult to talk to and to help me take care of him. It was a rough month. Maybe others would have handled it better or wouldn't have been so wimpy about it, but for me, it was very hard and pretty lonely. I was new to parenting, dealing with a child who wasn't nearly as adorable, easy, or loving as he had been during our bonding period, and sometimes, he was just plain awful. I realized that he was dealing with a lot - more than I was, certainly - but when you are trapped in a hotel room with a child who screams for an hour, you forget that he is dealing with his own issues, and you lose sight of the joy you are supposed to feel. About two weeks after D left, things suddenly turned a corner, and his behavior greatly improved. I think he did really well, considering what he's dealt with in his short life. With his improvement, I did better too, and things became easier for me, but it just wasn't the same without D.

Aside from the adjustments and loss little A had to deal with, there were also just the normal two-year-old issues. Going out to eat was and is a challenge, sometimes, though most of the time he does really well, but it's still stressful to me to pick a restaurant that I don't know and decide if he will do well there. I just needed an extra pair of eyes and hands so that I could eat, pay the bill, etc. Now that D is here, I almost feel that we are just on vacation, enjoying the city. I am very anxious to get home - to see my house, my dog, and my washing machine (!), and I can't wait for little A to meet his new family, but with D here to help me, we could easily ride out a lengthier stay. This is a really nice, cosmopolitan city, and I hope we are able to see a bit more of it tomorrow. First of all though, as far as I know, we still have our appointment at the Consulate, and we are very much looking forward to that.

Three families who we met in Ust are flying into Almaty tonight and on to Ust tomorrow. I don't think we will see any of them, as it looks like they are all sitting out their wait at the airport or staying at a different hotel. I'm so glad for each of them that their wait is almost over, and I wish we would have made contact here in the city. They are all wonderful people, and I'm so glad we met them. I'm so happy that each of them is ending their journey soon, as they've been waiting just as long or longer than we have. Hopefully our paths will cross again.

Mountains

2010-10-28T11:32:00.000-04:00

We started out early this morning. Waiting in the elevator lobby, I went out onto the south-facing balcony and, for the first time, saw the Tien Shan mountains which lie just south and east of Almaty and guard the border with China. I can’t believe this is the first time we’ve seen them, when we’ve already been here six days. Up until today they had been obscured by weather and smog, but this morning they were big and beautiful. What a lovely fall view. I wish our room faced south!

We walked along Furmanov Street, which is a major thoroughfare, down to Republic Square, which was less than impressive. There is a monument to independence here which is really nice, but other than that, not much to see. A short way from here is the Central State Museum, which we visited for a little while. I actually could have stayed for most of the day, I think, as there were a lot of historic photos which were really interesting, and the obligatory model yurt was very well done. Little A was very good, but I kept him moving.

On the way back I planned for us to eat lunch at Zhili Bili, but we passed an actual Pizza Hut…I was sorely tempted, but I kept going. Now that I know I’m going home soon, I’m no longer in a rush to get back to typical American fare. I kept moving toward Zhili Bili, but it appears to be closed – whether permanently or not, I can’t say. As the clock was ticking on naptime and we were already tired, we settled for the Chinese noodles place right outside the hotel again.

This evening we picked up a few things at the market and then had dinner at an Italian place near the hotel. The food was pretty good, but the staff was excellent. We were the only customers (too early, I guess, at 6), and they made a big deal over little A. They turned the tv from videos to cartoons for him, and then the hostess spent a long time playing with him while I finished my dinner.

D arrives in a few short hours, and then I hope to really hit the town before it’s time for us to leave. I’ve been saving Kok-Tobe until he arrives, and I hope to eat in a couple of better restaurants. With all the other parks in the city, I’m wondering if it’s worth the hike to Gorky Park? Is there anything special about it? There’s no way we’re going to the zoo (I have zoo issues), so is the park itself worth seeing?

Green city

2010-10-26T12:05:00.000-04:00

Today we walked and walked. First we went through a park surrounding a statue of two Kazakh women who were heroes of the Great Patriotic War (WWII). I don’t know exactly what they did, but the statue is impressive. Next, we went looking for St. Nicholas’ Cathedral, which is far to the west. I don’t remember how many other parks we passed on the way. There seems to be a park every couple of blocks, which is really nice and confirms my assertion that this city is beautifully green. We played on two playgrounds just on the way there.

The Cathedral was surrounded by a fence and didn’t appear to be open to the public. I went around all but one side and at that point was no longer interested, as it was time for someone’s lunch, and we still had a long walk home. Going back past the supermarket near the hotel, I saw that they have a long terrace fronting the street running to the north of the store. Here you can buy pastries and drinks, and then on the east side of the market are more vendors selling more serious food. I bought a huge container (much more than we needed) of plov, which is something we had at Mesto in Ust. It’s just rice which is very moist and greasy (yum), carrots, and meat which is probably mutton.

This afternoon we took a spin around the block. I was looking for a way into a playground I can see from our balcony, but it appears to be private, belonging to a posh-looking apartment building. Walking past the Old Square, I saw a black dog walking alone, trying to get past a fence; it was trying to join the rest of its pack, which was across the street. The pack was waiting for the one to cross; one dog was standing right at the edge of the street, not wanting to leave the other behind. The black dog got out of the fence and carefully crossed over to join the rest of the pack. I wanted to make sure that the dogs were all together, but I was terrified a car would hit the dog in the street, and that is something I did not want to see. It crossed over safely, and they all took off together. The stray animal thing here is something I don’t understand. I haven’t seen that many, and most of them seem to be cleaner and more well-fed than you would expect. It makes me feel better to see them in a pack, because I can tell myself they have their own little dog family. They are social creatures, after all. They know to look out for cars, and they are not afraid of people, though they don’t approach them, either.

There are three people selling balloons at night outside the hotel. Since little A didn’t ask for anything in the toy store, I stopped there and asked if he wanted a balloon. Of course he did. He picked one out, and we tied it to the stroller. He was so happy. “Yay! Yay!” he said (I must have taught him that word). He clapped his hands and was so excited I had to stop at a bench outside the hotel because I was tearing up. To be so happy over a balloon – such a small thing to make my little one so excited.

We had dinner at the sandwich shop attached to the hotel. Actually pretty good and very reasonable. Our Almaty coordinator just called a little while ago to tell me the passport is being held up in Astana, but they are taking care of it, and we will still visit the Consulate on Friday. Wow. Wow because we are going to Consulate Friday (!), and wow that our friendly (!) coordinator is keeping me updated ahead of time (!).

What? I’m just saying.

Three months

2010-10-25T21:24:00.000-04:00

Today marks three months that I've been in Kazakhstan, if you don't count the one week I was on a "break" in Amsterdam. Three months - wow. I never thought I'd be here this long. We woke up to the first beautiful day we've had in Almaty. The sun was finally out, and things got warm enough to almost go without a jacket. I've found nice weather is a big mood improver for me here.

This morning we only went as far as the market. I took him back through the toy store and let him browse to see if he indicated a preference for anything, but he didn't. He is enthralled by the large plastic cars and trucks (the ones you ride in), but since I have no way to transport that, I can't encourage that interest yet! I had a toy motorcycle when I was small that absolutely rocked, so I can understand that, but I can't explain to him right now that one of those things just won't fit on the airplane.

In the afternoon we had our medical appointment. I know I'm beginning to sound like one of those bad travelers, but I am just ready to get home: it was surprisingly pleasant to be in the office's American atmosphere, even though it is only the atmosphere of a doctor's office! Little A didn't seem too excited when they took his measurements. I could see a flashback to the baby house coming on, but he did fine with the doctor herself. After we came back to the hotel, since it was snack time, I decided to get him sugared up and took him back to the coffee house for cake and milk (for him) and an iced coffee (for me). Iced coffee!!

While driving to and from our appointment, I saw so many good restaurants I'd love to try, but I'm unwilling to test a lot of unknown waters without D to help control little A. I'm really looking forward to his arrival!

I should mention too that little A woke me up laughing in his sleep. He sometimes fusses or cries, but this is the first time he's laughed in his sleep. He's also fascinated by the automatic sliding doors in the hotel. I think he would stand there and watch them all day. So many firsts for him; it's so much fun to watch.

Glorious food

2010-10-24T20:42:00.001-04:00

This morning we hiked up to the Tsum store, which is a straight shot from the hotel. Everyone was right - the best souvenirs are on the top floor! I'm really happy with what I found, including a children's book about baby animals and their mamas called "The Dearest," which is written in Russian, Kazakh, and English. This is just as good as the vocabulary book, but I like it because it's actually a bedtime story, too. I probably should have bought more. The booth where I bought it only had a selection of five or six.

This evening we ate at Madlyn, which was recommended in a comment by Erin just yesterday. Had I seen the inside, I probably would have thought it was too nice for little A and worried about him acting up, but we went in and sat down, and he did wonderfully well. He was very calm; he usually is if you keep shoving food in his mouth. This is the first "nice" meal out that I've had in a LONG time. I've been thinking of home and thinking of all the places I'd like to eat when we return, although some of them might require a babysitter... Madlyn was the first place I've eaten in Kazakhstan that was truly date-worthy. The food was very good (although things are certainly more expensive here than in Ust - no more $4 meals!). When I ordered milk for little A, it came in a coffee cup and was lightly steamed. He sat there drinking his steamed milk like a little latte-loving snob. He has learned the word "pasta," as we keep having it here in Almaty. It was one thing I kept craving. Perhaps tomorrow we will venture into the Gloria Jean's coffee I saw nearby.

Tonight I did what might be my last load of bathtub laundry! That is so exciting. You have no idea how I long to see my washing machine again. And tomorrow we have our medical appointment. I'm looking forward to needing to be somewhere at a certain time tomorrow, and to interacting with someone besides my son, adorable though he may be!

Rolling

2010-10-23T16:00:00.000-04:00

There was a knock on the hotel door shortly after 9 am., and I was so happy to see fellow adoptive mom, P. P lives nearby, and we met in July (so long ago) shortly before I departed for Ust. Now she is here on her way back to Ust for adoption number two, and luckily, we wound up at the same hotel in passing. We had breakfast together, she met little A, and I met her mom and son, Nicholas. It was so nice to see a friendly face!

Afterward, little A and I took a cab to the Green Bazaar, where I was on a mission to find a stroller. I found one fairly quickly. At $40, it was a little more than I planned to pay, but it was also better quality than I expected. At first they kept showing me doll strollers, and until I tried to fit little A into one of them, they didn't realize I wanted it for him, and when the girls helping me figured it out, they all had a giggle. They were so nice, and I was so pleased to find something that really is pretty reasonable for what I got. I think I will try to bring it home and keep it for traveling, meaning we won't mind if it gets banged up a little and will keep the "nicer" one for use at home.

Little A and I walked through Panfilov Park, which is just across from the Bazaar, and I finally got to see the Cathedral which I've admired in so many others' photos. This was built entirely of wood in 1907 and withstood a major earthquake in 1910 or so. I don't know if you can go inside - it was closed today. Just beautiful. I was hoping for a good photo which I can frame for little A. There were some beggars outside. I gave some money to an elderly woman, who gave us quite a spiel in Russian. She made the sign of the cross and appeared to be giving us some sort of blessing.

It wasn't a long walk back to the hotel, really. The city has many, many parks. We ate at the same coffee house as last night, as around that point, little A wanted out of the stroller but didn't want to walk...I couldn't deal with the stupidity of carrying a baby and pushing a stroller at the same time, so we took a lunch break and then continued on our way.

Oleg, the Almaty coordinator, came by in the afternoon to do some paperwork. He was a very nice man, and I learned that the older gentleman who picked us up at the airport is his father. Now the reality begins to hit that this is almost complete. We are finishing the final steps in this process. I'm not just hanging out in Almaty with a baby; we have appointments over the next few days, then D will be here (hooray!), and then, AND THEN, we are boarding a flight that will start toward home.

Almaty

2010-10-22T21:13:00.000-04:00

We awoke this morning, as we did on our first trip here in March, to snow. It was somewhere between snow and drizzle and has gone back and forth all day, but at one point it was definitely sticking, as you can see from the trees. Little A acted like he'd never seen the stuff. He seemed unsure of what it was and was surprised at how it felt. I've always wondered if the kids at the baby house are kept inside all winter. I suppose they are, and I imagine at his age, which would have been only 18 months last winter, there is no way he would have been out in cold weather before now.

Everything was very pretty, but the weather kept us close to the hotel. We made a circuit this morning, looking for a market for water and snacks for the room, but I couldn't find anything, and our search was also hampered by the fact that the power was off when we got up and didn't come on until around noon, so many places were closed, and the ATMs were out of service. We walked several blocks, and my little man was a trouper. We wound up buying Chinese noodles for lunch from a street vendor outside the hotel. After naptime we went back out. Two people pointed me in the direction of a market which was only down the block from the hotel, but it sits at an intersection which has the pedestrian crossing underground. Some genius placed a toy store here, so all the people crossing the intersection walk right through the toy store - marketing brilliance! By going this route, as we came up the stairs, we walked straight to the market, which is only a stone's throw from the hotel (how I missed it this morning, I still don't know). The market is huge and has everything - even prepared meals like you would find at home. We stocked up and took everything back to the room, then went back out. We walked the other direction for a while, just to see what we could see. Almaty is a good city for walking. The traffic is very bad, but there are wide sidewalks and so many leafy trees that you feel like you are always in a park. It doesn't feel at all like a Soviet city.

A note about the toy store. This is only the second time little A has been in one, and both times have made me sad. I don't want to buy anything big for him because we don't have room to carry anything more back, and he has plenty of things here and much more already waiting for him at home, but I want to buy something for him because he doesn't ask. He's never been in a position to walk into a toy store and ask for anything. He doesn't know he's supposed to want everything in the store and expect me to buy it! He looks, and he points, especially at the stuffed bears and dogs, and he gently admires, but it never occurs to him to ask for anything. I think I will have to buy him something just on principle.

We walked for a while tonight and then turned around and had dinner at Coffee Delia, which some of you will know. It was so pleasant to sit in a coffee house and just relax. Little A played with his stickers and crayons for a bit so that I could just enjoy the feeling of being in a cosmopolitan city, cozy inside while it snows outside, with my little guy beside me. Tomorrow we are definitely hitting the Green Bazaar, and I am finding a stroller! I want to get out and explore.

On our way

2010-10-21T20:20:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling pressure to write quickly and thoughtlessly, as I'm now using an internet card that gives me only an hour at a time...ok...so we left Ust today. I realized as we were packing up the van and driving to the airport that we are finally, finally in that position we've looked to and dreamed of for so long. We are taking our boy on the first leg of his trip home, and at the same time, he is leaving the place that was his home. We will bring him back if he wants to see it, but there is also the chance that he will never see this place again. This is where he is from; this is where he was born; this is where he would have grown up had things gone as they should for every child. So I feel that he is losing something, though I also feel, of course, that we will offer him just as much or more than he would have had here. And I also find it kind of sad that he doesn't get the chance to consider these things and won't remember anything about this place, because he is so young. He doesn't know to take "one last look" or to try to fix anything in his memory.

He did beautifully on the flight. I could tell he was scared walking across the tarmac, but I'd really talked up the "vroom vroom" factor of the airplane, and of course, he loves all machinas. Once on board and pointed to his seat, he climbed right up, and then he was so absorbed in his sucker that he wasn't too impressed with takeoff or flight. He held my hand a bit, and he flipped through the magazines and emergency instructions. He could see the wing from his seat, but not the ground, and I was hesitant to tell him to stand because I didn't think I'd get him back into his seat belt. He was just kind of cool, sitting there with his little legs straight out and his ankles crossed.

Shortly before landing he put his head on my lap and fell asleep, and stayed asleep right through landing. He didn't wake up until we were on the tram taking us to the terminal, and then he was really excited and wanted to go back and look at the plane and at all the others nearby. I practically had to drag him inside. We've talked tonight about how brave he was and what an exciting day he had.

We said goodbye to S, K, and L at the airport. It was nice to have them there to help with little A, again! Little A and I were greeted at the airport by a very dapper older man who picked us up in a Mercedes. Now that is traveling in style! He took us to our hotel and we've stayed in, as little A didn't have his nap, it's raining, and I need to get settled. I have to pay for the internet here, but I hope to continue blogging as I want to write all about Almaty. It feels really, really good to be in a big city, but then, I'm a city girl. There are some beautiful buildings, and trees everywhere. I don't know if I've ever seen a city this size with so many trees. We have a two-room suite that allows me to have a light on after little A hits the sack, and he just had a bath in a real bathtub, instead of the sink. He was giddy! Overall, the Shiny River is probably a nicer hotel, but this is Bigger. It feels like a city hotel, if that makes sense. We have a balcony and a view, and I feel FREE, as one of my friends said. Free to go somewhere else and see something new, instead of the same four walls and limited area I've been circling for the past three months.

Best of all, D is coming next week! I'm so glad he worked it out. Not only will I have help on the flight back, but he will be here to see Almaty, to see little A again soon, and to hold his hand when he arrives in the US and passes through immigration. It's only a matter of a few days, but we're so looking forward to seeing him here instead of waiting until we get home. It really, truly feels like the homestretch now, and I can't possibly put into words the relief I feel.

Anticipation

2010-10-20T19:54:00.000-04:00

Just a few words as I am already very late for bed and need to pack for little one while he is asleep. I know I "buried the lead" of our passport news in my haste to appreciate what the other American families have done for me here, but I am THRILLED to be moving toward home. I still don't know exactly who pushed the US Consulate into getting involved, but I suspect part of the pressure came from Senator Webb's office, and the pressure on HIM came from my mom, so I am so glad she got involved. She knows how to get things done. I wish I could go on about what I am looking forward to about home and about our planned week in Almaty, but I don't have time right now.

We had a quiet day, and I got a little packing done already with help from another mom, who took little A for an hour. We had tea with Olga, which was really nice. I got to talk to her about her family. It turns out her deceased grandfather was a WWII veteran and was part of the final push into Germany, which I find really interesting. Her "granny" is the same age as my "nanny" and tells her stories. Olga is a sweetheart, and we wish her all the best in the future. She is another person we would like to see visit us at home in the US someday!

Two families passed court today and went for a celebratory dinner, but I didn't feel little A was up to a nice restaurant, so we stayed in. Looking forward to imminent departure!

Also appreciate Shan's comment on Halloween. Something to think about for a newly arrived little boy. A quiet walk through the neighborhood might be enough this year.

Friends

2010-10-19T19:48:00.000-04:00

With rain and grey clouds outside, and just waiting to hear good news indoors, today was very slow. Little A just about refused to go down for his nap, and things weren't looking good, but when I checked my e-mail I had a message from the US telling me little A's passport has arrived!

This afternoon I saw our coordinator down in the lobby. She gave me a great deal of neatly organized paperwork and explained the next week. The passport still has to go back to Astana for an exit visa from Kazakhstan. Then it will be forwarded to Almaty next week so that I can start our appointments there, which are at the SOS medical clinic and for the US visa which is required for him to enter the US on his Kazakhstani passport. I was aware of the procedures in Almaty, but not that we still had to wait for his exit visa from Kazakhstan. This pushes our time frame back by just a few days. Long story short, if everything falls into place (a phrase I don't like, especially here), we can fly home NEXT Friday. Saturday is more likely, but then there is the issue of getting a flight, and a weekend is always trouble. If we get home Friday or Saturday, we still have time to squeeze a very sleepy and confused boy into a hastily bought Halloween costume and parade him around the neighborhood!

Tonight the other families took us out for Chinese and toasted the near-end of our journey. I don't know how I would have fared without them. They not only bolstered my spirits and gave me someone to talk to, but they helped in really concrete ways like lending me the stroller and watching little guy so I could walk across town. And they are about to help again, as we will be on the same flight to Almaty soon, and then we will ALL get to see how little A does in his first airplane situation.

My head is about to explode because I need to do more sink laundry, some paperwork, and packing, and I need to do it by myself when little one is asleep. I'm a fast packer, and we will have the weekend in Almaty to organize before we have any of our appointments. We actually don't need to leave until Sunday, as recommended by our coordinator, but I'm ready for a change of scene, and everyone is telling me how nice Almaty is...I'm ready to get out of here and check it out.

Dinara

2010-10-18T20:21:00.000-04:00

In the hope that we will be leaving this week, we made plans to meet with Dinara as soon as possible and say goodbye. She's started a new position and is very, very busy, but we saw her on her lunch break. We went to yet another Pizza Blues. This one had a play area for little A so Dinara and I were actually able to talk a bit. (I don't get to talk to the adults much when little A is in the vicinity.) She always brings a little something for little A, and this time it was a chocolate egg that is hollow in the middle with a tiny toy inside.

For those parents coming after, you are really missing out by not having Dinara as your translator. I don't know who will replace her. Olga is still working with families here, and Olga is wonderful and great with little A too. Don't feel there is anyone "better" than Olga. She is a very sweet girl who is always smiling, and we are always happy to see her. But Dinara was an excellent translator. She has moved on to other things, and we wish her all the success in the world. She keeps in touch with many of her "families," and we really hope she gets to visit the US someday and see all of us again. In the meantime, we wish her the best in her new career. She is a very smart, professional girl, and she will probably be the first female president of Kazakhstan someday. (And then they will crank out those passports!)

Had a nice dinner at B and K's apartment. They are great hosts and always have an apartment full of people. We also met a Swiss couple who are newly arrived.

No news on the passport front. Should I still be here next week, I'll look forward to seeing several old friends who are planning their imminent return!

Foc

2010-10-17T17:41:00.002-04:00

I like this photo. It's very "get that camera out of my face! I'm a star!"

I don't really have anything for today. We stayed in except for a couple of walks, one of which was a trip to the grocery store. On our previous trips, I've carried the little grocery basket, as we only buy a few things at a time, and held his hand. He admires everything, of course, as it's still a new experience for him. Today I put him in the cart because I didn't want to tell him "no" constantly, and since he's been breaking everything else this week, I didn't want to risk it. Wow. Can a grocery cart be a revelation? I felt so dumb when I realized that when carts were designed to hold kids in the front, it must have revolutionized things for shopping parents! We were in and out of there. He still got to look at things and advise me on purchases, but I wasn't pulling him along or trying to keep him from throwing canned meat in the basket when I wasn't looking. And I just paid while he sat there, like a normal person, instead of keeping one hand on him to make sure he didn't take off while the cashier was ringing us up. I feel so dopey when I learn a new mom tip that should have been perfectly obvious. But just as he is coming along with colors and numbers and English words, I guess I'm learning the things that make parenthood easier.

On the way back from the store, in the five seconds I wasn't holding his hand, he tripped over a manhole cover and fell down. He's two - he falls down a lot whenever he runs or isn't holding onto me. A babushka swept down on me and really chewed me out. Since I couldn't respond, I just ignored her and helped him up. As we walked away, she was smiling, so who knows what was said. We've had a couple of people say something to us whenever we've been out and his skin's exposed, but no one yet has actually given me advice in such a manner.

One of the new animals we've learned is "fox." This one is funny. For some reason he always drops the "s" sound, so it sounds like he's saying...well, you know.

And a stroller shall set you free

2010-10-16T16:33:00.002-04:00

Everyone at home knows that Jim's son's passport has come through, right? I mean, he's pretty good about informing people. :) Our agency also has told us to expect ours next week. Someone (I don't know who) finally got tough, and the US Consulate in Almaty stood up for us and the other waiting American families. I am hoping to get to Almaty next week, and home the week after that. It sounds a bit too good to be true, but that's how things are expected to go. Home in time for Halloween? I doubt there will be time to find a hedgehog costume, but we'll come up with something.

Several days ago I finally came to grips with the wait. Maybe it was Skype, or the arrival of other American families, but I think mostly it was knowing that people were working to solve the passport problem. When we were in limbo, I was so angry and frustrated all the time, and the days passed so slowly. Now I know the next ten days or so will be a piece of cake. In the last few days, things have changed for little A too. Maybe I am less tense, and of course, he reflects that, but when I tell him no now, he either accepts it, or if he fusses or cries, it's over very quickly. I think we've found a rhythm where he knows he doesn't have to rage about everything, and I know how to deal with his explosions when they do come. Feeling prepared to deal with whatever comes is WAY better than dreading the next misstep.

The icing on the cake is that one of the families has offered the use of their stroller, as they won't need it for their girls for about three more weeks. (Have I mentioned they are adopting a little girl from little A's group? She was always sad, and I was worried about her. I was so happy to learn she has found a good family!) After I figured out how to unlock the thing and set it up (I am assembly-challenged), we took it out. I wanted to see if little A would accept it. We brought an Ergo carrier for him, thinking it would easy to travel with and a good way to get him around, but he didn't like it, so I sent it home with D. Having to carry him everywhere, though, has really limited my ability to get out, and of course, wherever we go, I can't walk at my normal pace and have to keep careful track of him. So anyway, he was happy to jump into the stroller, which he calls a

bicycle, and we went for a walk. See what a beautiful fall day we had? I took a brisk walk, and I had to almost force him out for a little while to play on the playground, as he was perfectly happy being chauffeured. After we came back, he even sat in it for a while and watched cartoons. Now I know I can take him out when I want and walk as far as I want. Sigh. I should have had this two weeks ago!

He actually, after his bath tonight, announced he was ready to go for a walk. He was dressed as you see above. Instead, we sat and listened to some tunes. He was singing a song for a while as he climbed all over the stroller that mainly consisted of "I love you, I love you." I do not let this go to my head, as he says it to the other families, the turtle in the fish tank, and today, to the elevator button. I sing for him to whatever is playing on iTunes. I was singing Tim McGraw's "Please Remember Me," and he got all excited because he thought he recognized the words. He shouted out, "soapy, soapy!" (Say it out loud and you'll get it.)

More tales from customer service

2010-10-15T19:24:00.005-04:00

Yesterday morning, little A broke his second glass, this time at breakfast in the hotel. Just as at Pizza Blues, we were swiftly brought a bill. This from a hotel which is literally gaining thousands of dollars from our presence. No big deal had the price been similar to the first glass, which was around 50 cents. This one was for over $13! Are they ordering their glasses from Pottery Barn at retail? Of course the price is beside the point. The point is that no one is interested in the customer here.

(Before I go on, I should mention there is no tipping here. It's not unheard of, but it doesn't really happen, and we got used to the idea after a while. We tried it a few times and saw the money go into the till instead of to the wait staff, so we stopped.) About a week ago, I ordered ice cream up to the room. It costs just over $1. The girl took my bill for $3.50 and never came back with the change! It's only $2, I thought, and certainly not worth going to the manager over. But after the glass incident, I spoke to her. I asked the manager if the price for the glass had been correct. She said she would look into it. You know I'm never hearing back about that.

Room service two nights ago. I paid with almost the exact amount, just in case. As I suspected, my change was never returned.

Tonight I ordered more ice cream. Instead of a tiny scoop in a saucer, I got a full ice cream dish with three scoops. Little A and I were delighted ("moga, moga!" we said, which means "a lot") until I looked at the bill. They charged us for all three. I told the girl I'd only ordered one. She was upset at the mistake. Oh, ok, she said. Just one. She smiled, and I paid for one. She took the money, the bill, and THE ICE CREAM away. She came back with the paltry one scoop in a dish. What happened to the three scoops? Did they throw them out rather than let us have them? Did the kitchen staff enjoy them? I should have taken out the top scoop with my fist and shoved it in my mouth and then sent just the other two back. I am willing to bet they all went back into the container to await the next customer.

Some of these people are so nice. But it's different here.

By the way, some families are now being told they will be able to return for their kids three weeks after court. Two weeks for the appeal period, then only one week to get the passport. Nice. I wonder what they're doing with all the passports of the people who went to court this past summer? Is there a deadline for those?

My mom has been hot on the trail of our passport issue and contacted our senator's office. She actually contacted both senators and a couple of reps, I believe, but only one got back to her. I want to give a lot of credit to Senator Jim Webb's office for their amazing response. Not only did they respond to her quickly, they contacted me and then responded to my detailed explanation of the situation within about an hour. AND they offered to help my mom renew her passport very, very quickly should I need her to come over here to help me. Now that is serving the people! (I knew I liked that guy.) I don't know if it's necessary, or if it will help, but it makes me feel so much better to know people really are working on it. I include our agency in that group of people. Our person in the US has been most concerned and keeps us up to date. I am very happy with our agency, just in case you're wondering. I give them a lot of credit, especially when I hear of others who can't even get their agencies to return their calls. An inquiry (mom again) also received a good response from the Kazakhstani Embassy in Washington, DC. The ambassador's assistant forwarded our information to someone (?) and requested their assistance. All of which may come to naught, but it's good to feel that people are interested.

Also note that you don't want to mess with my mom, her kids, or the new grandbaby she's still waiting to meet.

I'm So Proud

2010-10-14T18:44:00.000-04:00

My little treehugger. He did this all by himself! Clearly someone has been teaching him the correct agenda.

Last night, despite the fact that I kept waking up and pulling him back to the middle of the bed, and that I have pillows stacked on the edge of his side, he fell out of bed with a big thump. I jumped over to his side to pull him up. I was pulling on his arms, thinking, they're at such a weird angle, oh no, he's broken something, what will I do - and then I realized he was still lying on his face, and the only thing sticking up in the air were his chubby little legs.

Little A has now known the delight of living in a hotel for five weeks. We went to Mesto again tonight. Have you ever known a two-year-old who loves bumper cars? He has the happiest little chuckle when someone slams into us.

Babushka

2010-10-14T18:42:00.000-04:00

First, the quintessential babushka with her broom made of twigs. This lady was sweeping leaves from the playground where we were playing. I don't know if that would be her job, or if she just thought it should be done. I pretended I was taking a photo of the boy and took hers instead. I just had to have it. I love to see history walking among us! This traditional "look" won't be around much longer. I so wish I could talk to people like her and ask a lot of questions about life here 50 or more years ago.

Second, little A's latest ritual is to stack all our books and the occasional toy on the headboard before bed. He's surprisingly good at it. He is so cute when asleep. I've gone back to waking him before I go to bed so that he can potty once more. It seems to work, and more importantly, he's the sweetest thing ever when he's waking up from a sound sleep. He seems so confused, and I laugh so hard as I pick him up and carry him to the bathroom that I almost can't make it. He grumps a little, and leans against my legs limply while I pull down his pajamas before setting him on the toilet.

Someone remind me later to tell you how things really work with adoptions in Ust. I'm planning on a more complete disclosure of our experiences once this is over.

Everyone probably knows already that some families are receiving their children's passports, which means things are moving again, and that is really important and helpful for those of us who are waiting.

Tonight we took little A to his first hockey game. The whole American group went, along with Olga and some others. We sat in the very highest row, and I think my little guy was scared at first, but then he seemed to really get into it and followed the first part of the game. I asked him if he could see that they were chasing the "ball," and he said yes. Between periods he got a little crazy and bored, and we left halfway through the second period. Too slow for him, I guess, and much too noisy, but it gave us something to do tonight, and that keeps me sane. He was passed around from one parent to another, as they are all willing to help me out and they all seem to think he's pretty cool. It is so nice to have other parents here who offer me their help! Tomorrow morning I am actually going to let one of the other moms watch him so I can actually walk, on my own, to a grocery store and back.

Bitey

2010-10-11T14:30:00.000-04:00

I don't know how well you'll be able to see it, but someone got hold of my eyebrow pencil. God forbid I should try to take it away. Too bad I don't do lipstick.

It was beautiful outside today, which was so nice, as we were able to go back to the playground. The leaves on the ground are so nice. I wish I were more into the spirit of fall, as it's my favorite season, but there are no pumpkin patches here!

Something I'd meant to mention yesterday was that little A shocked me when we were looking at one of his books. We were repeating names of things for the millionth time when I suddenly realized he was looking at a page with "underwater friends" and saying "sea lion." I'd only mentioned it once before because I thought it would be too hard to understand, but he still got it. Isn' t he amazing?? And today, when we were outside in the morning, he climbed on a bench. I told him twice that it was a bench, and this afternoon, he went over to one and said, "bench." What a smart kiddo.

He continues to bite me a lot in a loving, excited way. He's always gentle, and I still think it's something he does to express his excitement - kind of like how we say we'd like to squish him because he's so cute. He was gently gnawing my nose up until he fell asleep at naptime today.

In Retrospect

2010-10-10T21:11:00.003-04:00

Look at this one of my little doll. He looks like Bugs Bunny with devil horns. When he woke up from his nap today, all smiling and sweet and cuddly, I laughed so much I made him self-conscious, but considering his occasional behavior, his little horns were so appropriate.

Two things I wanted to mention from yesterday, when I didn't post: one was that we had dinner at B and K's apartment, which was really nice. Not only is it nice to visit someone's "home" instead of a restaurant, but the other parents are really good about taking over little A for a few minutes so I can actually eat. They are very supportive. At one point, after a tantrum over carrots, they collectively gave me a pep talk about normal two-year-old behavior, and both couples offered to watch him for me, anytime, so that I can take a walk or run errands or go hide in a corner by myself. I really appreciate all of that. In the past few days, his temper flares have lessened, but my tolerance has grown shorter, as well. Back to that in a moment. One of the other moms gave him her cell phone to play with, and he was so excited at this piece of machinery that he walked around for an hour with it pressed to his ear, saying the same thing over and over in Russian. Olga was there and translated. He was saying, "Hello. Who's calling, please?" My kiddo is hysterical. Where would he have heard that? He was also totally transfixed by the spectacle of the front-loading washing machine. He spent quite a while staring at that and insisting that everyone else check it out as well.

The other thing he did that was really crazy was when we were settling down for his nap. Remember when he said he saw Poppy? Now, I don't necessarily believe my grandfather was here, hovering around the ceiling. Possible, yes, absolutely, but probable, no. I think kids are more "open" to things than adults, and I think "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." That said, I don't expect Poppy to appear before me. Yesterday, little A stopped talking and pointed at the ceiling again, and when I asked what he saw, he said "people." Now, I'm thinking, I'm not liking this or finding this funny anymore. I said, "What people?" And I kid you not, it sounded like he said, "Dead people." Let me be clear that I don't think that was what he meant He doesn't even know that word, and I don't think he's clear on "people" either. I don't know what it really was, but that's how it sounded. Another chuckle, courtesy of little A.

But back to my short temper. The changing news (and rumors) over passport processing have a lot of us on edge. Isn't it nice that the Ministry of Justice has announced that they will go back to expediting passports? I suppose they have taken into consideration all the complaints that have been made by foreign adoptive parents and their governments, and it's wonderful that they have taken our opinions and the children's welfare into consideration...but the fact remains that, as far as I've been told, there are still no passport supplies. Whatever super-scary technologically advanced space-age PAPER they use is apparently really hard to obtain. At this point I believe we've gone something like a month, supposedly, without being able to process passports due to a lack of PAPER? Special paper which has to come from France? So the rumor goes. Of course by now little A and I could have dog-sledded it in from Paris ourselves, but the paper still remains elusive. So it's nice that the MOJ wants to help by allowing passports to be expedited again - or at least, making that announcement gets foreign governments off their backs. What will really happen, how long little A and I will be stuck (literally, trapped here), and how long my American dollars will continue to enrich the economy of Kazakhstan still remains a mystery. But it sounds nice, doesn't it?

Being told you're going to be here for a while, then believing you might get home any day, and then reaching a point where you have no idea how long anything will take or whether it will be next week or next month, is not good for one's mental state.

D and I are beginning to ask ourselves if we did the right thing to take little A out of his environment only to stick him in a hotel for so long (yesterday was a month since we took custody). We think being in this confined space has a lot to do with his tantrums, although I will also agree that he's just a normal two-year-old who's been through a lot, and the tantrums would come whether here or at home. But he seems to be confused by Russian now. He's getting a weird mix of mostly English with a few Russian words thrown in by me, and when someone outside speaks to him in Russian, he understands but doesn't really respond. Possibly the best scenario would have been for me to stay here but continue to visit him daily instead of taking custody. He wouldn't have lost us (our biggest concern), but his life wouldn't be upside down. It's pointless to think about it, because that would not have been allowed. Once we were granted custody we had to take him or go home, but I wonder if that would have been easier for him. Without that option, I still think what we've done is best. I know this because of the many, many times a day he stops whatever he is doing and just throws his arms around me and hugs or kisses me. He's been almost-biting a lot, and it's not in anger, but rather, is a surplus of affection that he doesn't know how to release. He will put his little teeth on my nose or chin or arm and very gently bite me, just enough for me to know he's getting out some of his excitement. Funny, sweet, confused little person.

Day 75

2010-10-09T23:55:00.002-04:00

Cuddle bug woke up around 7:30 and snuggled for a bit. He always says, "Mama!" first thing to make sure I'm awake and he has my attention. When I pulled back the curtains, I was shocked to see snow on the hoods and roofs of cars parked outside. There was none on the ground, but it must have snowed just a bit overnight. Other than that, there was nothing much of note. Little A threw a fit for a few minutes this morning, and the head housekeeper must have been nearby because she knocked on the door and talked to him. I managed to explain to her what the problem was (he was angry that I took the telephone away), and she relayed that to him. She was very nice. I don't know if she just knew I couldn't communicate with him and wanted to help, or if they are tired of his racket disrupting their conferences, which are just down the hall. Either way, no matter how kindly it's meant, it makes me feel sad and yes, inadequate, that someone else has to talk to him and calm him down. Of course, some of his reaction was due to the fact that she is a stranger, which brings out his better-behaved side.

We took a taxi to run a few errands in the morning. While I'm not a fan of the approach to customer service here, the taxi drivers are always nice and almost always friendly. And anyone who's friendly to the kiddo is ok in my book. Our driver on the way back was pleased to have an American in his cab. That's the kind of small detail that puts a more positive spin on things.

I do wish I knew what the locals do to their kids to keep them docile. You never, ever see a local kid acting out at all. Are they Stepford kids? How do they do it? They look at us (all the Americans with kids) with such disdain.

Little A's Song

2010-10-07T16:26:00.000-04:00

I call this portrait "Appalachian Baby." If only you could see the clothesline strung across the room, the picture would be complete. We went through four pull-ups in about three hours this morning, if that isn't too much information for you.

We stayed inside all day today. ALL DAY. Because he never wanted to go out. We did meet the two other families for dinner at the Chinese restaurant, Turandot. He really enjoys seeing everyone and squirreling around with the other moms. When we spend the evening with other people, I feel a bit more as though I am on a business trip and just away from home for a while, rather than Trapped Indefinitely in a Foreign Country. It's definitely getting colder. I might have to break down and buy a coat here, though I was trying to tough it out. I only brought a leather jacket, and I have a scarf from Amsterdam, but I think I'm going to need something more serious.

Here's a bit of advice: if anyone else plans on being different and doing this in one trip, make sure your agency tells you BEFORE YOU LEAVE what you need for trip two. Because you don't want to be in country and then get a list of what you should have brought with you. If that were to happen (ahem), it would be frustrating. Even if you like your agency and think they've handled most things really well, and the caseworker who didn't give you this information no longer works there.

Little A had two good days in a row and continues to be the lovingest little thing. When he wants me to sing his song, which goes "A----- is a sleepy boy (or doodlebug, little boy, sweetie pie, etc.), doo da, doo da," he looks up at me and says his name. This is generally while I'm holding him after his bath or while we're getting ready for his nap or bed time. Then he says, "hands," and places my arms around him and snuggles in. He looks up at me while I sing, and he chuckles with delight every time I say his name. That makes it worth every time I have to tell him to put down the phone or stop standing on the toilet, or get out of the refrigerator, or stop opening the door to the room...

He also likes to say, "Mama" for no reason, and as I always answer with his name or "baby," he says it over and over and we go back and forth. This is a little boy who wanted someone to hold him and sing to him, and wanted someone to call mama and papa. It's as if he just likes saying the word, or likes having someone to call for. Aren't I lucky that it's me?

Superstar

2010-10-07T10:39:00.002-04:00

Not much to share today, but I wanted to send this photo out. What a sweet boy, if I do say so myself! He was a doll today. We didn't do much. It's getting a bit chilly, and I'm never sure of his tolerance, since he's never been allowed outside when it was cold and, at the baby house, even wore multiple layers in summer. We went out for a bit in the morning and then again in the afternoon to make a trip to the market. A pretty quiet day, but I hear there are plans afoot for all the visiting Americans to get together for dinner tomorrow.

He really seemed to be listening to me today. Several times he was pushing his luck and I gave him a look (not the same as my mom's, but I'll work on it), and he seemed to get the message.

I do want to brag on him a bit: he has a book of zoo animals, and we've been looking at it and saying their names in English. He knows dog, cat (hold on, it gets better), mouse, horse, pig, duck, frog, wolf, zebra, hippo, camel, lion, elephant (he corrected me today when I said it in Russian), giraffe, llama, and, for heaven's sake, cheetah! For some reason he cannot get "bird," and I have no idea what the word is for chicken, but whenever he points at it and I say, "chicken," he just will not accept it and says "nyet." But on everything else, he'll take my word for it.

Attitude Adjustment

2010-10-05T23:50:00.000-04:00

I was thinking today about how tough it is to be here alone with my little A, and how hard it must be for him to have D and I coming and going from his life, not to mention his departure from the only life he's ever known at the baby house and all the new things he's doing and seeing every day. Of course we had hoped the hotel room would be fairly temporary and that we would have him home by now and getting used to his real life. And I was feeling sorry for myself for having to be here, in a place that isn't terrible but isn't home, and having no one to help me with little A, although when he's not having a tantrum he is such a joy. I miss D, and I miss my family and friends, and I miss my dog, and I miss my house...D said when he got home the carpet felt three feet thick and our shower was like "standing under a cascading waterfall." D is funny. And I miss tamales and perfume and I desperately need my hair cut by someone who knows how to deal with a curly mess. But then I e-mail those who are waiting to come back for their children, and I talk to D on Skype, and he is excited to hear little A's voice, and I realize I should just be happy that I have the opportunity to stay here with him, take care of him every day, and tuck him into his bed at night (that is when he's the snuggliest). Of course I want to get home as soon as possible. Little A is maturing every day, and each day loses some of the babyness that I want D and my family to be able to share. But I realize I should be glad I am here with him, even if it means being in a place that isn't home. There is support here. There are plenty of other parents around and even more arriving soon. Olga and Dinara are here. And I am thankful to get so much support from my family and friends and fellow bloggers.

After today's meltdown, which was unexpected because I thought we had a day off from that, the schedule I had planned was pretty much shot. I had gone next door to introduce myself to the new single mom who is here and show her that the screaming monkey she would be hearing was actually a very cute little guy. The tantrum started right after we came back into our room and got ready for his nap, so she really got an earful. He truly does start off on something insignificant and then forget what started it. Then all his anger and confusion comes to the surface, and again, I am left wishing we could be at home so that I could let him cry it out in his room or his crib without both of us being in such a small space. He stopped at one point to click some buttons on the nightstand. He methodically clicks each one in the row, down one end, then back up - a control thing that sometimes soothes him but didn't work today. Anyway: after his nap it was almost dinner time, so a whole gang of us went to Mesto. He played in the play area and then wanted to potty. I took him into the men's room since no one was around and I didn't want to walk to the other side of the building. He went into the stall with the little children's potty. I wasn't sure he was going to do anything, so I was standing around outside while he said, "da, nyet, da" and couldn't decide, and of course, he shut and locked the door. And even though I should have seen that coming, this is why I rock: I put down my stuff, put one foot on the door handle, and climbed right over and into the stall. I hit the floor, threw up my arms, and said, "ta da!" but he couldn't have cared less. Like he gets rescued from a bathroom stall every day.

We rode in the bumper cars, which he loves and which elicit tremendous giggles and chuckles that are delightful to hear. I am pleased that he is so brave, even at his age. What a sweetie he is.

Festival of Pee

2010-10-04T22:20:00.002-04:00

The weather today was perfect for staying inside, having a cup of tea, and enjoying the onset of fall. However, since I am still whining about being here by myself, it just made me feel gloomy. My plan for the day was to go out for our morning walk, and then after little A's nap, take him to Mesto to the play area. You can't help but enjoy his giggles and screams of rapture when he's there. While he was asleep, I checked my e-mail and had one from a family who recently arrived inviting us and the other family here at the hotel to their apartment for dinner. So instead of Mesto, we just walked up the street to buy a few flowers, and got ready to leave around 6. Little A started his meltdown (I figure we're running at about one every other day) at around 5, and I really thought we were going to have to cancel. This one was predicated by me not allowing him to stand on the toilet and lean precariously far out so that he can play in the sink. That's what started it, and I thought it would never stop. You can tell when it goes from angry crying-because-I-was-thwarted to I-can't-remember-why-I'm-mad-but-I-have-a-lot-of-anger-I've-been-holding-onto. This one was finally ended by the combination of me holding onto him (which he doesn't usually allow) and the knowledge that we could only have dinner if he stopped crying. Food is a powerful tool with this one.

Because I didn't want to push my luck, I believed him when he said he didn't need to potty before we left, and I figured it didn't matter anyway. He's wearing pull-ups all the time now, and sometimes he tells me in time, and sometimes he doesn't. (I have a photo from two days ago of him asleep in lovely pink Disney Princess pull-ups, which is all they had at the store. I would so love to post it, but I don't want the international child predator police misunderstanding and coming after me.)

Off we went to dinner, and before we even started, he asked to go to the bathroom, and it turned out it was too late. He'd already gone and had apparently gone several times because pull-ups were full to bursting and actually were overflowing. Luckily, two-year-olds, like Nascar fans, can eat dinner in their underwear, and our hosts, experienced parents, sent him home in an extra pair of (girls' flowered) jeans. I have learned a few mom lessons so far, and I had the wipes and extra pull-ups with me, but no pants. Dope.

In the two hours we were gone, he saturated the second pair pretty thoroughly, as I saw when we got ready for his bath tonight. They came off and went in the trash, and within ten seconds, thankfully before I put him into the bath, he happily peed on the bathmat. (Did I also mention he wet the bed last night?)

I'm mentioning it because it's funny and because it's totally a workable issue. He's just not used to all the water he wants, and it's still a game to be able to ask for water and get it. His little bladder is working overtime.

But back to dinner. It was really nice to socialize a bit, not in a restaurant, but in someone's temporary "home," which was a really nice apartment. I can see why people rent apartments rather than springing for the hotel. I found out two interesting pieces of news: first, that the apartment couple is adopting a little girl from little A's group who always caught my attention, and I'm so glad she's finding a family because she always looked sad, and I was worried about her; and second, the same couple is actually from the same smallish town in Missouri as my mom's best friend. It was a very pleasant evening with a nice group of people, and while little A gets a little nuts, it's good for him to see someone besides me (and for me to see someone besides him).

I also wanted to record a special moment from last night. I had just given little A his bath, and he wanted some "musica" from the laptop, so I turned on iTunes and pulled up a Beach Boys song and The Beatles' "In My Life," and held him in his towel while we rocked and sang a bit. He was so sweet, just looking up at me with his little damp face and his wet hair, all wrapped in a bath towel and smiling. Then he wanted down so he could dance by spinning around naked for a bit. What a precious little booger.

Change of Seasons

2010-10-03T23:17:00.002-04:00

Yesterday while little A and I were playing outside, the wind shook loose a rainfall of yellow leaves that slowly drifted down all around us. Fall is here. The ground is covered with leaves, all of them yellow rather than the leaves of different color we would find at home, but here there are so many more that they truly are more like ground cover, making everything look more uniform and neat. Whereas before you could only see the tree-lined riverbank across the street from the hotel, overnight you are now able to see the river and the buildings in the old part of Ust on the other side of the river. In another two weeks, I imagine most of the trees' leaves will be gone altogether.

Little man and I had a quiet day. There is something about Sunday that always feels more peaceful and quiet; even if you don't go to church or spend the day doing anything observant, it just feels calmer. It's the first time this week that I haven't felt the day was dragging by while I wait for news about his passport. There are more Americans here. I saw one man going into his hotel room and speculated that he was American - it's so strange how you can just tell, without even consciously observing clothing or looks. I said something to little A in Russian and then in English just to see if the guy noticed, and he did and said hello. I said hi, and we continued on our way. There's a sort of feeling of kinship between any Americans you meet here, just because we're so rare. We've said hello to many English-speakers without the conversation going any further, but you can tell everyone just sort of recognizes each other. I certainly don't get excited about running into my fellow citizens when I'm in the US - but here, we're all a long way from home.

Little A has started expecting me to tell him the names of objects he sees in his books. I'm speculating that he knows he needs to learn new words, or maybe just that he hasn't received individual instruction before and likes learning. He has two books of words and one of zoo animals, and he focuses on these three books, looking at each of them at least once a day. We always look at one or more before he sleeps, and often he will ask me to hold the book while he points at the pictures, and as he points, I'm supposed to say the name of the item. For instance, he will stop on the page with food, and move his finger back and forth between the apple, banana, cereal, bread, and orange over and over while I say the names repeatedly. It's very interesting, as if he is studying.

He woke from his nap today angry with me about something. Maybe he had a bad dream. The rest of the day he was very affectionate and loving. I get a lot of spontaneous kisses and hugs. There was a strange incident, and I hesitate to write about it because everyone will think I'm a nutjob, but here it is:

Little A hasn't done any imaginary stuff up to this point, but today he pointed to the ceiling in our room and said, "hello, dya-dya." Dya-dya (phonetically) means "uncle," and is the term they are taught in the baby house to use for any man they see. He uses dya-dya often on the street to indicate that he sees a man. So today I asked him where this person was, and he pointed again at the ceiling. Then I pointed around the room and said, "there? there?" but little A indicated he was gone. I asked what his name was, and when I offered up one possibility (I can't remember what) he said no. When I said, "Was it Poppy (my grandfather who died last year)?, he said, "Da, Poppy." So this was a little freaky to me, but I'm totally willing to believe that kids can see more and are open to more than adults, and I totally believe in ghosts. The idea of Poppy actually came to me because my sister still says that when she was very small, about two, she could see my other grandfather, who died before she was born, when we visited my grandmother's house. And I know if it were possible, Poppy would be checking out little A. A few minutes after this happened, he said "dya-dya" was over by the nightstand, and when we went over there, he said he was gone. Later tonight, at bedtime, little A was using the name Poppy again. He started calling me Mommy for some reason, when he's always used Mama, and also saying "Poppy," for no particular reason, when to my knowledge, he's never heard either name used. So that's a little weird, but in a cool way.

Cocooning

2010-10-03T23:16:00.000-04:00

Last night I just had too much to do and too many e-mails and nothing to say, so I gave myself a break. I'm finding that any time I have when little A is asleep is being spent on the computer, and I'm still not getting to bed on time. Not that I'm complaining - I love blogging (it's therapeutic), and I love all the messages I receive. I just need to get a little more sleep and let things slide a little.

We had dinner at Tulipark last night, which is a good restaurant and is of course attached to a really nice playground, which little A likes. It's a bit of a hike back along a major road, and he wants to be carried the whole way. I do agree with Kelly's comments about over-stimulation. I think even a few minutes on the major traffic routes kind of freaks him out, much as he loves "machinas." There is too much going on, and he's just not used to that level of noise or activity. He had two loud nightmares last night, and I wonder if it could be because of our walk back. I've decided when we go a long way, we'll just take cabs. He likes riding, it's cheap, he's too heavy to carry, and it will be easier on his crazy little brain. There is so much going on in his melon, and he's really doing well when you consider all he's dealing with.

I've given up trying to get him to go out unless he wants to, for the above reasons. He doesn't get angry when he gets dressed now, so he must understand we are only going to breakfast or to play outside, but if he is content to only go out once a day, then that's up to him. Sometimes he just wants to stay inside, play, watch cartoons, look at books, and look out the window, and if he says he doesn't need a walk, then I just go with that. He may just feel safer in our room, and I can "cocoon" with the best of them. We've also gone to pull-ups full-time as of Tuesday. There's just no reason to push the toilet thing. It's the least of the stresses we're both under, and it's one we can avoid for now.

Today we played outside quite a while, took a good long nap, had a major blowout (though there were none at all yesterday), had a nice dinner at Pizza Blues, Skyped with D, and will hopefully get to bed early!

As for my own mental state, D got me a Skype phone account as soon as he returned home, which means I can call him and my mommy whenever I want! It does wonders just to know I can be in touch when I want to be, and I don't feel as isolated as I did a few days ago.

If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

2010-10-01T19:42:00.000-04:00

Yes, he is a beautiful, wonderful kid, and I love him. (How did he know that cool American dudes wear their sunglasses like this? I didn't do that - he put them there.) I'm in a bad mood, and it's a mixture of reasons, most of which don't have to do with him. He and I are getting into our groove. We even had perfect weather today. But I'd like to find a playground that isn't covered with broken glass, and I'd like Skype to FREAKING work.

When a Boy and a Carry-On Bag Fall in Love

2010-09-30T17:03:00.000-04:00

This is how he fell asleep tonight. He discovered this bag today in the cabinet with his toys. It was empty except for a changing pad thingy and the tiny little backpack we bought him when we first arrived here. He's been carrying the three items around all afternoon, sometimes inside the bag, sometimes separately, and tonight, these were the chosen items for bedtime. Other bedtime items sometimes include his big red book of words, a shoehorn provided by the hotel, his bear, an empty bottle of hotel-issue hand lotion, and the box his latest sippy cup came in.

I really appreciate all the advice I've received, not to mention everyone's supportive comments. It really, really helps to hear from people (most of you complete strangers) who tell me we've done the right thing in staying here and that his little idiosyncrasies are not so bad after all. In a dark room, reading my e-mail while he takes his nap, your comments really do make me feel better and help me know I'm not alone over here! We had no major upheavals today (I don't think he has sensory issues - though I don't know a lot about it - but I do think he gets overwhelmed when we are on a busy street with a lot of traffic and noise.) I am really picking my battles and redirecting and distracting a lot, and it works. His flares of temper only last a few seconds, and I think he's doing especially well considering it's rained here for the past three days, and we can't stay outside long or go to the playground. We took a cab to the grocery store, picked up some things, and walked back, and we had dinner with the same family as last night. They are all good with little A, and he really enjoys them - in fact, he has no time for me when they're around and was completely wacky tonight. I'm now one of those horrible people whose toddler makes a mess on the restaurant floor. Ergh.

Day One, Again

2010-09-28T20:25:00.002-04:00

I just think he looks funny in this one. I got him three great sweaters in Amsterdam, and this one has a reindeer on it; however, if I posted the whole body shot, you would also see a large dark patch on the front of his pants to which he seems oblivious. I just couldn't do that to my boy...but I did take a photo of the outfit before I changed the pants.

I don't have to tell you that we had an epic tantrum today around naptime, because I'm sure you could hear it wherever you are on the other side of the world. Sorry if it woke anyone. Yesterday he did so well, but today was not so great. I do think it has something to do with D's disappearance. We ended the day on a good note, though, because we went back to Mesto with the other family who are staying here. Little man loves to play there and can barely contain himself. He has the best giggle, and his happiness earned me many hugs and kisses. He really enjoyed interacting with the other family, especially the mom, who held his hand on the other side from me.

Being here alone with him really drives it home that I am his mama now. He plays with other people and seeks their approval too, and even holds their hands and hugs them, but when we come back home to the hotel, he's my little guy, and I get to give him his bath and tuck him in and get his snuggles.

Missing D

2010-09-27T22:49:00.000-04:00

Right now D is on his way back home, and I am alone in a strange country. Not entirely alone, since I have little A, and my translators if I need help (they are so great), and a coordinator who, though we don't socialize, knows her way around the block, and a couple of other American families who've just arrived...but still, it is very strange to be here without D. He was not comfortable leaving us, but he has to get back to work, and really, we both know there is nothing to worry about. Other women have done this. I'm perfectly safe here, it's just so WEIRD being so far away and by myself. And these comments don't even touch on the absolute panic I felt as D's taxi pulled away. I know it's unreasonable, as I have every convenience, but being stuck here with no return date, no way to contact friends and family other than slow e-mail and crappy Skype, and no English tv for background noise is lonely and isolating. The other American family at the hotel has already been really friendly and nice, but you know, it's not the same as someone I really know.

Other than the trauma of D's departure, which made none of us happy, today was a good day. Little A seems to be reading the blog on the sly, as he didn't act up once. I appreciate everyone's comments regarding letting him dress himself, etc., because I was looking for advice, but it's just not that simple. He's allowed to dress himself, and I understand why he might be scared about going "out"...those were all good points and may all play a part, but I think it's just a deeper seated need for control and fear of all the changes that have happened to him. There's just a lot of "yes-no-yes" when he's asked a question - that type of thing. Freaking out when he doesn't get to flip the light switch or push the elevator button. Adoptive parents will understand this better than anyone else. For instance, he's regressing with his potty training. It could be because he's getting way more fluids than he's used to, or that it's his way of controlling this new, scary situation, or some other reason I can't imagine. The bottom line is that adoptive parents, I think, accept this kind of lashing out (I did, even though I'm now looking for answers!), and it's pretty typical. It's just hard to know what to do when it happens. I try to let him make as many choices as he can when things don't matter one way or the other, I expect outbursts, and I don't scold when he pees on the floor. Yep. On the other hand, he started using a real toilet today, instead of his potty chair, which is HUGE. We've had many instances when we've been out without a potty chair and he won't go (see "Public Exposure"). Use of a normal toilet would be swell and would allow me to get around town without a plastic bag-covered chair soaked with...well, you know.

Last night and tonight, as I lay down next to him while he fell asleep, he pulled both my arms toward him and arranged them just so, so that he could hold onto one and so the other was over him.

Check out his rain jacket and new boots. A lot of puddles were stomped this afternoon.

I AM RIDING!

2010-09-26T15:55:00.000-04:00

This afternoon, we made plans with Dinara to visit an amusement park. (Olga was supposed to be there too, but she was sick.) We haven't seen Dinara since she started a new job and we took custody of little A over two weeks ago, and we like her very much, so it was nice to see her again. She took us to Metalurg (that's a loose translation), a large park on the west side of Ust. It's actually a huge, very nice city park with no entrance fee, but there are several rides inside, and you pay to ride whichever ones you want. We rode a carousel first, with all four of us in a drum that revolved much like the teacups do on the famous Disney ride. Next, little A wanted to ride one of those space rocket things that revolve and go very high. It was supposed to be a ride for kids over three, but Dinara talked the operator into letting him go. I was a little nervous that he wouldn't like it. After all, the kid's spent most of his life on the baby house grounds. I don't want him to be a scaredy-cat, but I don't want to terrify him right out of the box, either. He rode with me, and I had the stick to control how high we went. I started to go higher, but he kept repeating something over and over, and I thought he was saying, "I don't want to," so I tried to keep things calm. My big worry was that he would burst into tears and that we wouldn't be able to get off the ride. As it turns out, he loved it. What he was saying, and what he kept saying throughout the afternoon, was "I AM RIDING!" He does this occasionally when he's happy: "I am running!" "I am sitting!" and it's pretty sweet. I told my little guy I was very proud of him, though he can't understand me yet. He is only two, and he was riding rides that other, older kids were afraid of.

Someone was also filming a movie or TV show in the park - we'd love to know which, but Dinara didn't recognize anyone famous.

Little man went on several big slides, the moonbounce, another carousel (on which he announced his status as a rider to the operator every time we came around), a boat that revolved in a tank, and the bumper cars, which I believe were his favorite based on the way he chuckled and laughed so loudly I had to video him just for the sound. After he finished, he told the bumper car operator all about it. It was a very pleasant afternoon, and it was so nice to see Dinara again.

The last photo, while a permanent record of little A using his potty chair in the park, is actually to show how beautiful the leaves are now.

Warts and All

2010-09-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

He looks like a doll, doesn't he? And he is, except when you try to get him dressed to go outside. Then you face a meltdown of epic proportions, which may include but is not limited to screaming, crying, wailing, kicking, and biting. D and I can't figure this out. It's upsetting to us, not to mention frustrating. Then there's the fact that we are in a hotel with fairly thin walls and a conference going on down the hall. I KNOW that when we try to get out the door, just to go for a walk, and little man freaks out, they can hear it. We're waiting for the police to come by and ask what we're doing to the kid.

I'm thinking that the transition from baby house to family is harder the older the child gets. I'm thinking little A has so many new freedoms and choices and things to see and do that he is overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do first. But he only over-reacts in our hotel room. Outside, even in a nice restaurant, he's perfect. He sat tonight in the Chinese place and was very well-behaved. He sits in his adult chair with his napkin and bib and does beautifully. Yet when HE SAYS he wants to go for a walk, and we try to put on his shoes, the freak out happens. We dread it. I'm dreading D's imminent departure. I know little A must be feeling conflicted about something, but I don't know what it is nor how to comfort him. When he cries and throws himself around, he will let D hold him, which usually does the trick and calms him eventually, but he doesn't want me. What is it about leaving the room? I was wondering if he felt scared outside, but he loves being out there. He loves going to the park and seeing all the machinas. It's just getting out the door that is the problem. By the time we get to the elevator, he's back to normal.

I'm assuming this is normal for a child two weeks out of the hoosegow, but I don't know how to make him feel better. He bit me today for the first time, and he did a good job of it.

To end on a positive note: he actually woke up last night around 11 because he wanted to potty. We took him to the bathroom, and he settled right back down to sleep afterward. We were impressed.

You break it...

2010-09-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

This morning we went all the way down the Strelka, the spit of land where the two rivers Ulba and Irtysh meet, and where the city of Ust-Kamenogorsk was first founded as a fortification by the Russians as they pushed into Kazakh territory. There is no longer any fort visible, but the World War II (Great Patriotic War) monument is here. I haven't seen any more peaceful place in Ust. This is the only place we've been where I couldn't hear traffic. The rivers are quietly flowing, the trees are changing colors and are a beautiful yellow, and everything is silent. If I were alone in Ust, I would bring a book and spend some time here. The monument is impressive, and it's a nice walk along the Ulba from the hotel.

In the afternoon we went for a walk and stopped at a playground. A woman was there with three girls, one of whom looked about five and played on the slide with little A. They had a great time chasing each other. Little A always points out vans and trucks when he sees them, as he is still obsessed with "machinas." At the park he saw a truck and tried to tell his new friends. He looked at them, pointed at the machina, and said, "truck." They looked stumped, he looked frustrated that he didn't get a response, and we realized that this is the first time he's spoken English to his fellow citizens. It was kind of sad. His own people couldn't understand him. We are turning him into one of us, and it will be better for him, but he is leaving something behind.

We returned to Pizza Blues East for dinner, which went fine until the end of the meal. We generally sit little A in a chair instead of a highchair. He needs a booster, which we don't have, but I don't like the mess of the highchair and prefer to sit him between us and feed him. For a long time, he wouldn't touch the food with his fingers (baby house training, I'm sure), but now he will use fingers for small bites of things we cut up, and he drinks from a normal glass. Tonight as he slid out of his chair to the ground, he knocked his glass to the floor, and it broke. No biggie. We held him still, and an employee ran over immediately. She was waving us away; we thanked her and grabbed our things, thinking she was trying to get little A away from the broken glass. As it turns out, we were being directed to go to the register and pay for the glass! It only cost around 50 cents...but can you imagine?

Family

2010-09-23T22:46:00.002-04:00

I only had one remarkable event today that I wanted to record. Tonight after little A's snack, we went to "Mesto," the entertainment center with movie theaters, a food court, an arcade, and a play area for children. We had checked it out at least a month ago and were surprised at how much was offered. D took little A there last week and played on the playground area and on the bumper cars with him, which he said little A loved. (I myself remember vividly my first experience with bumper cars. I was too small to reach the pedals and had to sit here, helpless, while the bastards around me took advantage of the situation by crashing into me repeatedly. I'm unclear as to which relative allowed me to experience this nightmare, since I was only about three, but in light of other events that have happened since, I suspect it was my mom. That was not the last time she reacted to my misfortune with hysterical laughter which incapacitated her to the point that she was unable to HELP ME. But to be fair, someone waded in there finally and got me out.)

Anyway. Tonight we took little A to the play area, which is one of those multi-level things with a ball pit, slides, etc. It was so much fun to watch him having so much fun. He is still just a baby, and smaller than most of the other kids there, but he played with the big kids, went down the slides several times, and went into several areas he'd been too nervous to explore the first trip. But with all the trampolines, ball pits, and ladders, he seemed happiest rocking on a small plastic rocking horse meant for the smaller kids. He's just a little guy.

As we left, I told D that this was the kind of thing I imagined we would do as a family. We took our little boy out to a family experience and got our enjoyment from his.

Public Exposure

2010-09-22T21:14:00.000-04:00

We went shopping this morning after breakfast and got little A some tights - not because we miss his tights and pink sandals look, but so he'll have a layer to put on under his jeans. I also bought some wool socks. It is fun shopping in the bazaar, seeing what you can find and comparing prices. I don't haggle, really, since I haven't bought anything expensive and I'm not going to haggle over a dollar, but I do get a kick out of a deal (two pairs of tights and two pairs of wool socks for less than $7!).

This evening we went back to the new restaurant underneath the "pancake house." Now that they have an English menu, we know that their name is the Maslenitsa Tavern (Maslenitsa being the "pancake house" above). Little A is very good at keeping still and being patient in restaurants, especially if you are shoving food in his mouth, which he never tires of. Shortly before we finished, he had to potty. (Bathroom breaks are one of our greatest challenges, as he always lets us know that he needs to go, but he will only go in his potty chair, and we don't want to carry it around with us.) D took him into the restroom, but he refuses to use a real toilet. A few minutes later, they tried again. Then D took him outside, hoping he would go out there. The caregivers at the baby house once said to do this instead of taking him all the way back upstairs, but he won't go standing up and won't go when someone is holding him, either. Then I took him to the restroom. No luck. We were trying to pay the bill, and little A was getting very upset, so I took him outside again. We were right on the street near an alley, but that was dark, and I wasn't going to take him in there. Finally he and I agreed to pull down the pull-ups outside, right in front of the restaurant, and go in the little patch of grass there. I held him in a crouch, recreating the potty chair, and then he went. Of course he wasn't positioned well, so it didn't just go in the grass, but also over the curb and down onto his shoes and pants. Whatever. I was laughing and I didn't care who saw us or what they thought about Americans and their propensity for public urination. Mainly, I didn't want him to feel awkward or upset, because he takes his potty training very seriously.

There was a big wet spot on his pants, so we took a taxi back, and he sat on my lap, and now there is a damp patch on my pants as well. And everything went in the laundry, including his shoes, and little A had a nice bath. Happy ending.

The vocab book is called "First Hundred Words," by Heather Amery and Stephen Cartwright, and the ISBN is 9965-591-02-4.

Quiet

2010-09-21T13:25:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure I'll continue to blog on a daily basis. With my new visa, a lot of the drama is over, and each day flows into the next without many changes or newsworthy events. We get up, we eat, we play and walk, we eat, we nap, we snack, we go out again, we eat dinner, we sleep. That is all in keeping with little A's schedule, which we're sticking to as a means of keeping things as "normal" for him as possible. We go out at least twice a day, and I hope as it gets colder we'll be able to keep that up. He likes walks, and of course, the exercise tires him out. Today was nice and warm, but it was cold overnight and colder than I like in our room when we woke. I mentioned before that the government turns on the heat, and I was a little worried about that because it won't happen for a while, but the hotel has delivered a portable radiator for us, so I'm sure we'll be snug.

I like our little routine. We wash him, wash dishes, do laundry in our bathroom sink, so there is something always needing to be done in between his feedings. But I enjoy feeding him and choosing what is healthy and filling for him and what he will enjoy. Since only one of us could sit at the desk at a time, he sits on a bathmat on the floor and we feed him there. He's absorbed this as the new state of things and in keeping with his learned discipline, he sits here and doesn't get up until the meal is finished, and then he helps put everything away.

On the other hand, we had a tantrum today when we got him ready to go out for the afternoon. It was sparked by...who knows what? His moods can change very quickly, but D says he is better than last week and doing better all the time. One thing that never varies is that he is a complete delight when he first wakes up. He is cuddly and snuggly, and this morning he slept late and stayed in bed for quite a while just looking at his new book and talking to us.

Little A has always talked about "musica" and done his "jazz hands" thing, and now he's added a very resolute head-bob to his act. He remarks on music whenever we hear it, even from a passing car. Tonight we played music with dinner, and when "Dancing Queen" came on, he really dug it. I bought "Abba Gold" about a year ago and thought it would make good listening around the house when the unnamed child and I needed background noise (but no TV), and this is the first time it's been played since we've had little A. He sat on D's lap, but he did his little dance and even made up some words and sang along. This kid can really rock out.

I really enjoy our little nest here, even if it's small and there is laundry hanging from a line down the middle of the room. In the evenings, we dim the lights to prepare little A for bed, and after he's all ready, teeth brushed and face washed and pajamas on, we snuggle in bed with him until he falls asleep. Then D and I have a couple of hours to talk quietly, catch up on e-mail, and read. Because we can't wake little man, there is no TV on. It's nice with the lights down and everything very quiet. It's peaceful. It's cozy. It's happy.

Good Day Out

2010-09-20T15:03:00.000-04:00

I've seen a few of the difficulties D had to deal with while I was away. Little A is testing his boundaries, and while he is really good most of the time, he will launch into a fit of crying for no particular reason. For instance, there's a lot of answering a question "yes," then "no," then just crying. I think the confusion of all that has happened to him is beginning to sink in. Last night we got him up to potty before D and I went to sleep, and he pottied and then just wailed and wailed. It took a long time to get him back to sleep. D has done well with him, though. He's discovered a lot of things that work and set some routines in place, and little A goes to him when he wants something. (You'll notice he sits like D as well.) You will also note that since little A's sippy cup disappeared (perhaps hidden in the trash can), he's been assigned a coffee cup, which is what he used in the baby house. He does very well with it, and looks like a little man having his coffee, though he's only drinking water.

D bought him a big red book which is called "First Hundred Words" and shows pictures with words in Russian, Kazakh, and English. Little A loves it and is now sleeping with it. He varies which toy he takes with him for nap or bedtime. This evening, watching cartoons with D (old Russian cartoons are very interesting and something of an art form, I think), he was chewing or sucking on a soft "feelie" my sister gave him. Sleeping is always interesting. He moves around a lot, as I guess all kids do, and he will actually kick his legs up in the air and throw them over onto me (mostly me, not D). I've also been punched in the face. Tonight he was pointing at something in his sleep. It's a lot of fun to sit and stare at him. I am not a patient person, but I have all the patience in the world with this little niblet.

This morning we took a walk through the neighborhoods near the hotel. Each block has its own playground with a similar equipment group of seesaw, swing, slide, and sandbox, though some are in better shape than others. We visited several, and I was surprised at how brave little A is on some slides that are very high and steep. This afternoon we looked into a few stores and bought little A some rubber boots for when the weather goes downhill. They look like friendly crocodiles. Then we walked all the way to Zhambyl Park (a real, large park) and Tulip Park, which is a huge children's playground.

They let us in for free, for reasons which are unclear, but I got in serious trouble when little A and I were on our way up to the top level. Unfortunately, because he's small, he's only allowed on the lowest level of the playground, which means neither of us get to climb up to the big slides. But he loved it and had a blast, even on the rocking fish, though he doesn't look like it here. We ate dinner at the park too, which was very good. Walking home, being carried by D, he went back and forth between us, giving spontaneous kisses and hugs. He must have had a good day.

Fall in Ust

2010-09-19T12:49:00.002-04:00

Just a few words, as I spent last night in the airport and would like to get some sleep; our little alarm clock will be up before seven. When I arrived at the hotel this morning, I could see what appeared to be D and who I knew must be little A when I caught sight of his orange jacket. I caught them outside taking a walk. Little A was glad to see me but didn't fully express it until later, when he started giving random kisses and big hugs. We had a pretty quiet day. I tried to catch up on laundry, having brought back several new things from Amsterdam. Little A is definitely having some issues, and it was a bit of a struggle sometimes for D while I was away. I don't know if his behavior was caused by my disappearance or just the realization that his life has changed in a way he can't appreciate. He's had some nightmares, too. Today we just took a few walks and had an easy dinner at Pizza Blues. He's very good in restaurants. We think he's awed by so much going on around him. And bathing him in the sink is easy now - he seems to like it. Questions remain about how I will handle some things on my own, but little A's English is improving. This must be such a source of frustration to him, as he knows so many words and yet still communicates with us on a very basic level; however, even if he's not using many English words in speech, he is understanding quite a bit.

Fall arrived while I was away. It was pleasant outside today but is getting quite cold at night. Heat is regulated by the government and is not turned on (everywhere at once) until mid-October, so until then we will have to snuggle up.

I hope he's picking up some vocab from the novels he's reading...

Farewell to All That

2010-09-18T20:30:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was my last day in Amsterdam, and I had more than a few things I still wanted to see. In the morning, I stopped by the Anne Frank Huis but did not go in, as the lines were already long, and I've been there before. I did pause to look at it, because it looks like any other house in the many rows of houses lining the canals. I tried to conjure a mental image of a group of people going quietly into the house early one morning, and then not coming out for many months, and then I tried to conjure an image of a black, shiny Nazi car screeching to a halt outside and an officer yelling "schnell!" while the subordinate Nazis approach from all sides and start beating on the door. The only image I could come up with looked like something from a movie and was unthinkable on this quiet street in the present day. Yet that's exactly what happened here, one morning when they least expected it. And everyone inside, but one, died in concentration camps. For some reason I can reconcile an image of 17th century Amsterdam, Protestant and wealthy, but not one that fits with its more recent past. It's hard to imagine a reign of terror in this quiet, beautiful city.

The Westerkerk, which stands a couple of doors down from the Frank Huis and is mentioned by Anne in her diary, is a nice church but is a good place to visit because you can take a tour which climbs halfway up the bell tower. You can see the bells and walk around the outside on a parapet which offers good views of the city. I did this and then walked around a bit, bought another street stand hot dog, and went back to the bed and breakfast because the owner, Novella, wanted to show me a good store.

I had spent quite a while talking with Novella and her husband, Jan Willem, the night before about various issues. As I mentioned, they saved my bacon in the matter of the new visa, and they wanted to see pictures and ask questions about little A. Both of them were delighted, and Novella was very concerned about the state of the other kids in the baby house. She pulled out several items of her daughter's to give me to bring back, and she also walked me to a particular store where she thought I might find some good buys (she was right about that!). And here I will give a plug for their bed and breakfast, The Blue Sheep (www.thebluesheep.net). Prices were very reasonable, the house is gorgeous, breakfast is tasty, and the hosts are so helpful and very kind. I've stayed in many good b&b's, but I've never felt more that I was staying in a friend's home where I could come and go as I pleased. (And their dogs, Vito and Spot, were the best, especially because I've been missing having a dog around. One or both of them were usually on my lap or snuggled up next to me when I was on my laptop.) The location is perfect too, as you can walk to everything, but the street they are on is quiet and tidy.

So I went shopping and then was looking for the Old Kerk, and couldn't find it because I was looking at my map wrong. In disappointment I decided to visit Haarlem instead, which is a little city only about a 15 minute train ride away. As soon as I got on the train I realized my mistake with the map, but I was committed to Haarlem, which has a beautiful square (Grotemarkt) with a huge 14th c. church. I saw the church and Corrie Ten Boom's house. I'm curious how many people are familiar with Corrie Ten Boom and her book, "The Hiding Place." I read it years and years ago. We saw the house when we visited Amsterdam in the 80's, and I was hoping to actually go inside, but it had already closed. In the few minutes I stood outside the door, no one else approached. I hope they still have visitors. The Ten Boom family were very religious Christians, with a prosperous jewelry store right next to their home, and during the war, they hid Jews in a secret space in their house. They were discovered, and all of them sent to concentration camps, where all but one of the five family members died. Corrie lived and wrote the book.

I didn't stay long in Haarlem, but went back to Amsterdam to continue my search for the Old Kerk. Finally found it right as it closed. I hadn't been far enough east, to the older part of the city. Here the canals don't always run between walls, as in the newer part of town, but actually lap up against the sides of houses, where boats are moored underneath doors and windows. It's like Venice. I walked past the church and a home where Catholics used to meet secretly after they were banned, and I saw more hookers. That guy at the b&b was right. I wasn't looking too hard, but they're right there in the windows as you pass; I don't know if they were attractive or not, but they sure are well-fed, and that's putting it nicely. I think, if this adoption gets a lot more expensive, I could do well here.

This part of town has an entirely different feeling. The bulk of the red-light district is here. I wish this area were smaller, because it feels seedy and creepy, and I couldn't wait to get out of it. It's not a pleasant place and is incongruous in the middle of such historic, beautiful buildings. It seems like they should move the coffeehouses (where you buy your weed) and prostitutes out to the suburbs somewhere, so that historically and culturally-minded people like myself can enjoy the cobblestone streets and beautiful bridges without having to worry about drugs and public urinals. It just doesn't fit. And I got tired of smelling pot all the time.

I hurried back over to the "west side" and had dinner at a Dutch place Novella recommended. I had a stamppot, which is potatoes mashed and mixed with vegetables and cheese and gravy. It comes with a meatball or sausage, but I went veggie in light of my imminent return to Kazakhstan and all its meaty splendor.

I had one last chance for Burger King or Starbuck's this morning but didn't take it. The streets were quiet as I headed back to the train station. I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to speaking Russian again and eating unfamiliar food, even if it is very good. It was a nice break to be in more familiar surroundings, and specifically, to visit the Netherlands. The green fields and sheep of the countryside reminded me of England, as did the climate, and that's always a good thing in my book. And while I was in a hotel, it was a different hotel, with people who spoke English. It was nice not making an effort for a little while.

And now I am spending the night in the airport again, and am very excited to see my boys in the morning!

VISA IN HAND

2010-09-16T21:19:00.000-04:00

I don't really need to add anything, I don't think. Whew. Except that D says little A asks about me first thing every morning. I'm so looking forward to getting back to them.

Freak Magnet

2010-09-15T15:50:00.001-04:00

My first two days in Amsterdam were nothing but trying to organize and accomplish. I felt pretty good about getting to the Hague and dropping off the paperwork. (If you haven't traveled in Europe, the trains are excellent and very easy. You don't even need a schedule. You just walk in the station and chances are the one you need will be leaving soon, and all the information is up there on the board. English is an option on everything, so you can figure it out.)

Yesterday my goal was to send payment for the visa to the Consulate's bank. They don't accept cash or credit cards. They give you their bank information and ask you to send payment. I was a little concerned about this, but figured I could work it out.

First, I accomplished the small things. Lunch, ATM, city guidebook, cheap umbrella as weather was bad. All these things were easily done, and I was feeling good. I located a branch of the bank used by the Consulate and went in with enough cash and the account number so that I could just hand it to someone.

Would you believe, in a city where you buy marijuana at coffeehouses and hookers display themselves in windows on major thoroughfares, that you are not allowed to place money into someone else's bank account? I was pretty shocked by this; however, the bank guy sent me right up the street to the travel exchange. He said they would do it for a fee. I walked down there and waited in line. What do you think the woman in the window needed to send the money? My passport. Where is my passport? At the CONSULATE. However, she said, I could always get one of my Dutch friends or relatives to do it for me, as long as they had ID. Well, let me just pull out my non-existent cell phone and call my...oh wait! I DON'T KNOW ANYONE IN THE NETHERLANDS!

At this point, I was a little worried. I knew I had to get this money sent, but I couldn't think of any way. I'd tried to tell the visa officer that I have an American bank, but he just kept telling me to do it online. I do bank online, but that's an American bank. Actually, in an ironic twist, it's a Dutch bank, but the American "version" is incorporated in the US, and in response to my e-mail, they said they could not send money to a European bank. So, I was pretty much screwed, really.

The only thing that saved me, the only thing I could think of, was to hand some cash to the owner of my bed and breakfast. He was kind enough to make the transfer from his account for me. I don't know what else I could have done. So, make a note, should you need a visa renewed, I don't know if Amsterdam is the best place to do it - but for all I know, all the European consulates do it this way, and I'm not the first American to be in the middle of this mess. Thank goodness I was staying in a b&b (name to be highly recommended later), not in some huge hotel which couldn't have helped me.

This was handled last night, and with a huge burden off my shoulders, I was able to do some sightseeing today. Amsterdam is really a beautiful city. It's all trees, cobblestones, and canals. I went to the Nieuwe Kirk, the new church, built in 1408 (yes, that's new!). I saw Dam Square, the old heart of the city, where the royal palace and the obligatory WWII monument are located. There were also two hot dog vendors in the square. Lunch was cheap and yummy - homemade pickle relish and sauerkraut! I did a lot of walking, which was great. It's early fall here. It rains a bit, the sun shines a bit, and the wind blows, and it's jacket and scarf weather - just right.

One of the nice things about being here is that literally everyone speaks English. In some countries the younger people do, but the older hot dog vendor even spoke English. If they don't see you coming a mile away and go into English automatically, they will as soon as you say "hello." It's especially nice because I'm a little worn out from trying to make myself understood in Russian.

I found the Hema store, which is a cross between Target and Ikea, but not as great as either; still, I needed a few things. I found Spui Square, and from here found an old almshouse that has been in use since the 14th century. (My guidebook is not here, so I don't remember the name of everything and might not spell correctly what I do remember.) I wouldn't have found this place had I not seen people going in. The doorway is like a door in someone's house. I opened it and went into a little tunnel with a beautiful arched, vaulted, painted ceiling that leads into a big courtyard area surrounded by homes. The original inhabitants were women who wanted to live cloistered lives but not actually take vows as nuns. In 1607, after Amsterdam officially banned Catholics, their church was taken over by the English Reformed Church, which still stands today. From this beautiful, quiet little neighborhood, whose homes are still rented to elderly women, you can get to the Amsterdam Historical Museum. This was a very good museum, with a good museum store. I can't resist museum stores!

From here I accidentally found the American Bookstore, which I had wanted to find because I'm almost out of reading material. Another box checked! I wandered a bit before I found the Rijksmuseum, which is THE museum here. On the way, I stopped for tea at a very nice little place and had the most wonderful hummus/eggplant sandwich. I can't describe how tasty it was. And this was a few hours later, so it's not like I'd JUST eaten the hot dog.

The street I used to approach the museum was full of very distracting antique jewelry stores. They had beautiful stuff. The Rijksmuseum is one of those places you have to visit because the Rembrandts and Vermeers are here. Most of the museum is closed for renovation. There is a lot to see, but I have limited capacity for paintings. I'm more of a historical artifacts girl. In and out in 40 minutes.

I did a lot of shopping today, too, as I need some warmer clothes, considering the weather is rapidly turning in Ust. Someone passed a law a few years ago that all sweaters must now be ugly and have cowl necks...I looked at a lot of sweaters before settling on some stuff at H&M. We have just gotten H&M at home, but here they are thicker than Starbuck's.

Walking down the street, in a huge mob of people, some Indian guy stopped me to tell me something big was going to happen in my life. (You're a few days late, dude!) He was totally non-threatening, and I have a tendency to politeness, so I humored him for a minute. He said when he sees someone whose aura catches his attention, he has to say something. (Oh, boy.) He gave me his spiel, which was that something big would happen in my life on November 21 (mark your calendars). He said I thought the big stuff had already happened, but more was coming (that part was kind of interesting). He also said some nonsense about self-confidence and spirituality, blah blah blah. I told him I was off to meet my husband (I wish), and he shook my hand and let me go. Totally harmless, but why do these people always latch onto ME?

Before this trip, I had never eaten in a restaurant by myself. I felt really weird about doing that, and had never felt the inclination. On this trip, I knew I could find my way around because I've traveled a lot, but my fear was that I would feel freakish doing everything on my own, or just funny being so far away from everyone I know. But it's been good. I try not to think too much about D or little A, as every little kid I see makes me wish I were with them, but I was out for a full eight hours today and got a lot done, and really enjoyed seeing so many things. This is one of the more beautiful cities I've ever seen, though I agree with Kelly's comment about being out at night. There are mobs of young men who are not here for the historical sites, and it just seems unwise to be out after dark.

Tomorrow I will head back to the Hague, and once I have that passport in my hand, I will be finally able to relax.

To my mind, it's totally irrelevant, blog-wise, that when I was 14, I played Anne Frank in the play of the same name. But my mom wants you to know! (It was pretty cool, actually.)

One more thing about Amsterdam: the only thing missing now, besides D and little A, is Rutger Hauer. And if anyone can tell me who Rutger Hauer is, I'll be pleasantly surprised. This doesn't include my family and friends, because I know you know.

Amsterdam

2010-09-14T08:01:00.001-04:00

For a moment there, I got all excited that I could handle the blog myself from here and not have to bother my sister - but then I tried to get on and realized I don't remember the sign-in! Well, I have a lot going on here, so I'll continue to send it via K.

Before I continue, let me say again, even more vehemently than before, that Frankfurt Airport SUCKS! It took me an hour just to get from Terminal B to Terminal A, and if I hadn't jumped a line, I would have missed my flight. Because of construction, they let us off on the tarmac, and we were delivered to the terminal by bus. This took HALF AN HOUR. Then, via tunnels and stairways, I tried to get to Terminal A. I had to clear passport control here rather than in Amsterdam, and the passport line is what almost got me. There was a huge mob, and I couldn't see what line they were in, but all the other lines were marked for EU residents only. There were about six EU lines, and then this other debacle, which, though I was so far away I couldn't possibly read the signage, must have been for non-EU residents, meaning me. (This is a source of irritation to me, because while I don't think Americans should receive special treatment, aren't we and the EU countries kind of on the same page in terms of being allies and friends? Let us join your line! Don't lump us in with the countries of whom you're a little suspicious and who receive extra attention. And while we're at it, throw the Canadians in there with us as well.)

Guess who decided it was easier to get in the short EU line and claim ignorance if the passport officer said anything? He didn't care, and I whizzed right through. Unlike American airports, I also had to go through security again, even though I hadn't left the airport, but they are very quick with security here (Germans!), and after another hike, I got to my flight as it was boarding. (The gates were so far apart that there was a moving sidewalk for every two gates. Seriously.)

I arrived in Amsterdam yesterday morning and took a train directly to The Hague, which is where the Kazakhstani Consulate is located. It took less than ten minutes to drop off the paperwork. I have an unreasonable fear of things like this because, in a situation this important, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was sure he would tell me they couldn't do it or something was missing...who knows? Because of my unreasonable fears, I'd been sweating this visit since long before I left Ust. It was a pleasant surprise to just drop off my stuff and hear that it will be ready in a few days.

I hiked back to the train station to avoid paying for the cab, and took another train back to Amsterdam. Leaving the train station here, I was able to find my bed and breakfast and walk to it (thereby saving more cab fare, which is pretty expensive here; they don't like cars and encourage avoidance of them).

I'm staying in the old city, which is full of canals and bicycles, just as you've seen in photos. I was here once in 1986 or 87, just for a day, and saw the Anne Frank house. I may go back, depending on how much time I have, but last night I was so tired from the lengthy trip that I checked in, walked around for a couple of hours, had dinner at 4:30, and was in bed before 8.

I should mention, since this is Amsterdam, that I've already seen the obligatory pot-smokers and a couple of dudes making out. And I stumbled into the red-light district without realizing it. Luckily it was afternoon, and no one was on display yet, but one of the guests at breakfast this morning says the prostitutes here are not as attractive as they used to be. Huh. I'm in the heart of liberal Europe! (It's nice to know that, if I could find a gun, which I probably couldn't, I could shoot myself and then receive free medical treatment.)

I also saw an elderly lady at the train station yesterday. I realized she was here when the Nazis invaded and occupied her country, and when all the Jews were deported from the Netherlands. What fascinating memories she must have.

I'm staying in a house from the 17th century, in a little room with a very modern bathroom but no windows, which is fine because it's very cozy. I wish I could take photos! There are two Jack Russells who are very sweet, and because I don't have a signal in my room and have to use the internet in the living room, they are both curled up on the couch next to me. One of them is deaf, and other one takes care of her. There are at least two other Americans staying here, and they are both from the same city where D and I live. The owners are very kind and have already asked to see photos of little A. I've also received multiple e-mails from D, who misses me and/or has his hands full with the little guy.

Have to get out and see the sights. The canal cruise, while touristy, has been recommended.

Sleepless

2010-09-12T16:04:00.001-04:00

I really have nothing worth writing about, but I understand there are
a few people who get really upset if they don't get their
"fix"...there are still no photos, so I can't help you there, but this
is the latest. D handled baby just fine on his own, and he is now
sleeping peacefully (D to follow soon, I imagine). I, meanwhile, am
drinking tea and eating french fries (surprisingly delicious and
soothing), spending the night in a Central Asian airport while I
await a flight in the wee hours which will deliver me to the delights
of Europe and, hopefully, the overwhelming helpfulness of a visa
officer at a Kazakhstani Consulate.

Just two more flights, three cabs, and three trains to go!

Day Two

2010-09-12T05:30:00.001-04:00

I'm sorry to tell you our camera battery is recharging, and I have to
knock this out and get to bed, so photos will have to wait.

Today was rainy, and D was sick in the morning. We were able to Skype
with my family, and little guy was pretty patient and spent much more
time on camera than I expected. I'm glad they got a look at him and
heard his little baby voice for the first time. I took little A to
breakfast by myself, and he did wonderfully. In public, he's very
calm and mostly quiet. He gets a lot of looks. A lot of people
comment on how cute he is or wave and smile at him. The hotel staff
has been really nice. The housekeeper who does our room (who has
always been great) gave us extra towels, water, and a hot pot without
our asking. On the other hand, we've also noticed a lot more stares
than we used to get, and these recent looks are much more hostile. I
don't get it. Can they tell he's from here and we're not? Do they
know he's adopted? Our translators thought most people, realizing we
are American, would assume we were here on business. I don't know how
many people realize this is a city foreigners visit for the purposes
of adoption, but the only explanation I have for the way people are
looking at us is that they realize he's one of them, and we are not,
and they're angry about it. Well, guess what? He was in the baby
house for a year, and no one else offered to love him. You snooze,
you lose, and this baby's ours.

We went to Maslinitsa (?) (pancake house) for dinner with him. That
kid can eat. We ordered some stewed cabbage, thinking he would like
it and it would be familiar. He liked it, and we did too. I could
eat a plateful of that stuff myself. It was stewed with tomatoes and
carrots, and we mixed it with rice and some other things for him.
After we got home, we decided it was time for a proper bath. He
agreed when we asked him, but he cries when we try to put him in the
shower. We wound up giving him a sponge bath, then sitting him in the
sink so his little bum and feet at least could soak. Then D held him
upside down over the sink while I washed his hair. He was really
brave, and did so well. He was very nervous but didn't cry, and now
he's a fresh, clean boy. And that's the last hair wash he gets this
week, because I'm about to leave town, and there's no way D could do
that trick by himself.

Off I go for a few days in Europe to renew my visa. I won't be taking
the camera with me. I'll be blogging from my new city without photos,
so stay tuned or take a break until next week, when I'll be back in
Ust with my boys and will have more photos of little A to show.

September 10

2010-09-10T12:58:00.000-04:00

I took a photo of this billboard because I've admired it since we arrived. I asked Olga what it was for, and she said it has something to do with respect for veterans. If you can't make it out very well, it's a WWII veteran being recognized by a young girl who is handing out flowers. He is very proud and is wearing all his medals. I mentioned before that there is a hearty respect here for veterans, especially those from WWII, which hit the Soviet Union very hard. Any place displaying historic photos always has a few of older men standing up very straight with all their decorations on. I can respect a place that respects their veterans, especially those who fought a long time ago and are now quite old.

I mention this because it's been a year today since my Poppy died. Poppy was a WWII pilot and talked more and more about his time in the Navy as he got older. I was remembering where I was a year ago today, and thinking of my grandmother. Little A has been something for her to look forward to, and I'm so excited to get him home to meet her! He can already say "Nana" or "Nanny" when he sees her photo. I really wanted him home in time to meet Poppy, but that was always a long shot.

After I wrote the blog last night, we got little A up at 11 pm. for one last potty break. We were told the caregivers do this, and this is how the kids all sleep through the night without diapers (but we have pull-ups just in case - it's a hotel bed, and I don't want to explain that). I was laughing so hard at him that I could barely help him to his potty chair and back. He barely woke up, I carried him into the bathroom, and I think he fell asleep again on the potty chair. He passed back out as soon as we got him back to bed.

This morning, breakfast was great. The waitress who has up to now been kind of unfriendly went nuts over him and all of a sudden started telling us about her son. He had a huge breakfast: two servings of porridge, cheese, meat, juice, milk, and peaches. We had small meals for lunch and for a snack, and then dinner was huge again. This boy can eat, and he's certainly not picky. He seems slightly more comfortable today. He cried three or four times, but each time was very brief.

We walked around Ust and visited Kirov Park. Kirov Park is right in the heart of the old town, but it's big and leafy and green and peaceful. There are lots of flowers, vendors, the children's statues, the tiny church, and speakers play quiet music while fountains splash away. Very nice on a beautiful day like today. I really wanted to see how little A liked all the animal statues. He was excited about the small bears, but afraid of the big bears and the wolves. We also bought him new shoes (again) because the boots we bought and the little shoes he wore yesterday seem too tight for his feet. More baby house donations! As soon as we put today's purchase on his feet, he started talking and singing (literally) as we walked down the street, so I guess those old boots really weren't working out.

Tonight at bed time, he let me brush his teeth, though he did cry about it. He got settled pretty quickly. He didn't fuss, but we saw a couple of quiet tears. I asked him if he was afraid, and he said, "da." It must be so strange for him. But he got the little blanket M gave him when she was here, and his bear, and held my hand for a little bit. He flops back and forth from me to D before he settles on his side, and he rubs his left ear. At first we were afraid his ears might hurt, but he only does it right before he goes to sleep, and D found on the internet that some kids do this to self-soothe. It's cute and makes me laugh, but it's also sad that he hasn't had anyone to cuddle him while he falls asleep. He sleeps well, though, and is perfectly cheerful and happy when he wakes, as are we! How fun to wake up to such a sunshiny little person...even if I spent most of the night with his feet in my face.

Bustin' Loose

2010-09-09T12:10:00.000-04:00

It's 9 pm., little A is asleep, and D and I are trying to be as quiet as possible. It was a very good day, and he did very well, considering the circumstances. We brought him a carefully chosen outfit (crazy plaid pants courtesy of Auntie K), and a tiny teddy bear I literally bought over four years ago in London for my someday baby. We signed a logbook indicating we were taking him away from the baby house, we went to his room and picked up his things, changed into his new clothes, and said goodbye to his caregivers. The ladies on duty today were two of my favorites. They were always nice to us and patient with all the kids. They helped him dress, dug out some old artwork of his for us to take, and when it was time to go, they both started to cry. We took a photo of them with little A and will try to find a way to get it back to them. We accidentally left without his "machina," and D went to the play yard to see if it was there. The caregiver was so upset that she made D take two other toys to make up for it. (We will also find a way to get these back, as little A has more than enough stuff, and we don't want to take anything away from the baby house.) We took photos in the director's office, and she wished us well and asked us to write, and then we also stopped by his doctor. Before we knew it, we were in the car and heading out.

The most emotional moment was saying goodbye to the caregivers. They watch over these kids day in, day out, and they've taken care of our son now for over a year. Of course they get attached. It must be strange for them to raise a child from a baby only to see that child leave with new parents and go to another country where their lives will completely change, and it must be bittersweet to think that child will never remember the ladies who took care of him.

Our coordinator gave us his new birth certificate and the certificate of adoption. These are in a nice "Kazakhstan blue" holder and are very official looking. The adoption certificate shows his birth name, tells the date we went to court and the date the appeals period was over, and shows his new, adoptive name. I have to say that I know our coordinator doesn't want to deal with us right now, especially when she has a lot of other things going on and we are the only family left in town, but she knows what she's doing, and she gets the job done. If anyone can do it, she can.

When we got back to the hotel, we threw all his new toys and clothes at him at once. There were two small cabinets in the room that we weren't using, so toys are in one and clothes in the other. He explored everything, and then it was time for lunch. He wasn't sure what to make of peanut butter. Watching him eat it was like giving it to a dog - they chew and chew because it's so sticky, and they don't know how to get rid of it, but they don't want you to take it away. Next, in keeping with his baby house schedule, was a nap. He did really well, playing for a bit, then squirreling around in bed for a bit like any kid. We lay down on either side of him, and within about 15 minutes, he scooched over, head-butted me a couple of times, and went to sleep. Unfortunately he only slept for an hour, so we spent the rest of the day randomly alternating between playing and going for walks.

The thing that seems to have flummoxed him most is the elevator. He's clearly nervous, especially since on our second ride, the door almost closed on him and then on me when I tried to force it open. When we get off, he stares at it until it closes, and then says goodbye...encouraged by us, of course. He wouldn't normally talk to machinery.

We went all the way up to the Daniel supermarket and got lots of produce and cheese for snacks. He was pretty quiet on the walk. He's very nervous about so many cars and doesn't take a lot of notice of the people. In the Daniel, he held D's hand and stuck pretty close to him. Later, we left the hotel yet again, and he enjoyed walking along the river (just on the other side of the street, but set further back and away from traffic), but we didn't stay out long because now that he's drinking as much water as he wants, he goes to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Which brings up another hilarious topic - his first poo. When he was finished with his potty chair, he basically leaned over until his head was almost touching the floor - making it easy and efficient to wipe and move on with our day!

I was looking at airline tickets, so D took him out into the hallway again. They settled in an elevator lobby and just sat and talked and snuggled for a while. When they came back, he wanted to go out again immediately, and D finally put it together that the reason he kept asking for a walk was because he was waiting for us to take him back. And that was when he broke down. D turned off the tv, and he was so upset that we realized everything was staring to hit him. We held him and talked to him, and he stopped crying within about five minutes, but I can't imagine how confusing this must be for him. Up until now, we've been playmates, but now we're keeping him here in a little room, in an unfamiliar place without any of his friends or caregivers. He has been a trooper, though, because except for those few minutes, even without a good nap, he's been such a good boy and very sweet.

After that, we went in search of dinner (it's a constant search for food here). We went back to the second floor where there is a restaurant and ordered some pasta to be delivered to the room. (The hotel delivers food with no room service charge! Yay!) On the way up in the elevator, a young Russian man told us we had a very nice boy. And it's only our first day! When dinner arrived, I sat on the floor with little A on a bathmat, and we shared some pasta. He also had bread, cheese, and a cookie, and I think he would have kept eating if we'd kept giving him more. D gave him a halfway decent bath in the shower stall. This is tricky, because the water temperature changes without notice here, and it literally goes right to scalding. D basically soaped him up with his hands, and that was it. There was an attempt to wash his hair that obviously wasn't going to end well, so that can wait for another day, and I hate to say it, but so can brushing his teeth. He allowed the toothbrush in his mouth for about five seconds and then started spitting. With all the other stresses of the day, I decided to let it go.

At some point he decided all his new clothes needed to come out of the cabinet and go all over the room. I think he was surveying his new possessions, but it wasn't hurting anything, so we let him spread it out. Hence the photo of him in his polar bear jammies with the field of destruction behind. The new bear and the rubber hedgehog from Dinara went into bed with him, and he settled down very quickly, though he didn't fall asleep for a while. He got very close to me without actually touching and kept looking up at me if I so much as moved. I told him a little story about a boy named little A whose parents had to travel very far to get him and take him back home.

He is now fast asleep. He twitches a lot, moving his hands and feet and sometimes chewing. I hope he gets a good rest so that he's happy tomorrow. Isn't he an angel when he sleeps?

A few other random things that should have been included elsewhere: Olga gave us a CD yesterday. She said it was of Russian songs, and I thought she meant folk music or something little A might want later, but actually they were pop songs. D has spent so much time watching Russian music videos and asking questions about certain artists that she made us a whole CD. Very thoughtful and very much appreciated!

"Mooka zhooka." I keep forgetting to record this, but it's one of my favorite phrases little A uses. "Zhook" is the word for bug. "Mooka" is something like the word for fly. When he puts them together, they mean a flying bug. Hysterical when said by a two-year-old.

Last Day

2010-09-08T08:54:00.000-04:00

We spent the morning shopping for a few last things, including a new potty chair. At least a month ago, we bought a seat that fits over the toilet seat, but we decided he needs a potty chair just like his old one to make him feel more comfortable. It's sitting by its tiny self on the bathroom floor.

The big news is that we are taking custody of little A tomorrow! We have sorted out enough of the details to feel comfortable with the visa situation. Very soon, I will have to renew mine, which will allow me to stay here until little A's passport is processed; therefore, we're moving ahead and bringing the little guy home - at least, to the hotel until we both can actually go home.

Our sunshiny boy has no idea what big changes lurk over the next 24 hours. We face tomorrow with excitement and a bit of nervousness. After all, we've never had a two-year-old before, let alone one who speaks a different language. We're so excited to show him everything the world has to offer. He's spent the last year of his life within the confines of the baby house grounds, moving from the little suite of bedroom/playroom/dining room/bathroom/locker room they all share to the playground used by his particular group, and as far as I know, he's never been anywhere else. We'll take him in a car, shopping, walking around the hotel, and to some of the great amusement areas for children in Ust. Just walking down the street will be an adventure for him (so many cars, people, and noises), and it will be so much fun to be with him as his little mind grows and he explores and discovers so many new things.

I am very much looking forward to picking out his clothes for tomorrow! I've never gotten to dress him before, and we have such great stuff waiting for him here - things that were chosen carefully over the last few months.

Today is supposed to be the last day of hot weather, at least for a while, but I'm doubting the temperature will go back up. Today it was almost 90, but it's cooling off tomorrow, and snow is possible by Monday. We weren't really prepared for snow, but it's another reason we will be glad to have our hands on little A...more shopping will be required!

A Very Good Day

2010-09-07T16:01:00.000-04:00

D is working hard on his Russian, and in the past couple of days has been able to actually converse with little A. Yesterday, when little A asked for something, he said "give," and D replied, "I won't give!" Little A thought this was really funny, and responded by saying "please," which was the desired effect! Today little A kept asking a question, and D said "I don't understand." Little A said something about speaking, and D said, "I don't speak Russian." Little A actually shrugged, held his hands up in the air in the classic pose of someone who gives up, and laughed as if D was just messing with him. I wonder what his little brain makes of these people who can clearly speak but who use different words than he does?

One other thing he does that makes me laugh until I cry is when he does a little dance move that he clearly learned in their music classes. He puts his hands out, palms toward us, all five fingers stretched out, and turns his wrists to and fro. If we hear music playing in a car, or today, just because we were singing, he did it (with a little encouragement from D and I). it's the funniest thing, and we are really hoping to get it on video. One of the reasons it's so funny is that he seems a bit uncertain that it's correct, like "I'm doing this, but I'm uncomfortable with it because I'm not sure it's right." We need more "musica" just so we can see that move more often.

Did a bit of shopping this afternoon, as my parents want to get some toys for little A's group. Shopping for kids can be a bit tough, as everything seems to either be cheaper than you want or very expensive. If anyone has room to bring extra clothes or toys for the group when you fly in, I would recommend it rather than trying to buy things here. You can find things here, certainly, but it's easier and probably less expensive to bring things from home.

Yummmm... beety

2010-09-06T12:55:00.000-04:00

We've been spending a lot of time lying low at the hotel, as it's hot during the day, and we don't have to be anywhere until we make our visit to little A late in the afternoon. Thankfully, I have a great book with me, which is all I need. Little A is really picking up English words and continues to answer questions in English which he can't possibly understand, but it gives us hope that things will progress quickly now that we no longer have the crutch of a translator. I opened his locker today to find two little candies inside, which I took to the caregiver to ask if they were ok. She indicated his throat, and I know he had a cough yesterday, so I suppose they are for that. I gave one to him and made slurping noises, trying to get him to suck on it, but he crunched it right up.

He's gotten really good at "one, two," and even held up his little finger today to show "one." Brilliant!! Perhaps not exciting for everyone reading this, but lots of fun for us.

We had our taxi drop us downtown so we could hit the Malinitsa (I think that's right - I don't want to call it the "pancake house" anymore) for dinner. I finally had a bowl of borscht. I've tried others' but not ordered my own. It was very good and didn't taste beety at all, which was my fear, because if there is one thing about me you should know, it's that I loathe beets. Also pictured are their little meat-filled crepes, which they call pancakes. Everything there is very good, and you can't beat dinner for two for about $7. We also stopped at the grocery store around the corner. We've found the yellow grocery store (across from the Hotel Irtysh) offers an ATM which allows a higher withdrawal amount than most other places in town.

The parking area across from our hotel is full, and there are always guys in suits in the lobby, though no one looks particularly ominous. Some big event is starting right now on the first floor. They are talking about the summit on tv, but we unfortunately have no idea what's being said. My dad suggested I make a placard reading "Free Little A" and carry it around until the president sees me. If I could only find some posterboard...

Boctok

2010-09-05T17:55:00.000-04:00

Today for lunch we visited Pizza Blues East (above). "Boctok" means "east," and this Pizza Blues offers meals which are more traditionally Kazakh, as well as the pizzas and main dishes offered at the Pizza Blues near the hotel. We like this one better. They have good noodles and Georgian bread. We walked through the bazaar a bit, too. Perfect weather today.

Little A was pretty energetic and VERY talky today. He is always happy to see us but also happy to go back to his group. I think he likes the attention and affection we bring, but also wonders what the other kids are doing. We asked him a couple of questions in English, such as "Do you want your rock?" and he answered, "Da," just as if he understood. I'm sure it's just tone of voice and context, for now. We were pleasantly surprised when we left today. We said "I love you," in Russian, and little A said it back with a little smile. We've said it before, but this is the first time he's said it to us. He also finally moved from "one," to "one, two," which we find hilarious because in his accent it sounds like "von, tyoo."

Our taxi had to go out of its way on the way home because we ran into a motorcade, and the police were diverting traffic. We think it might actually have been President Nazarbaev, who should be arriving today. The motorcade was pretty lengthy, and one car had a special banner. It was heading from downtown in the direction of the presidential palace. I believe Medvedev arrives tomorrow. Police are stationed along the streets at regular intervals, and we're no longer allowed to make a left turn in front of the Daniel supermarket but have to go the back way to the hotel. D and I appear to be the only people staying at the hotel who aren't related to the summit, and we're not sure why we were allowed to stay, as one other adoptive mom was asked to relocate for the duration of the summit. This morning when we came down for breakfast, the dining room was closed, and we ordered what we wanted from the lobby bar. There is a police woman stationed in the lobby, and hotel security has spruced up. There are a lot of guys with suits around. Of course the president won't actually be here, but supposedly every hotel in town is full with entourage types. This was actually something I was concerned about in my new mom alarmist state. Since we were going to take custody of little A last week and have him here at the hotel, I started worrying about anything going wrong and little A being here in the middle of it. Now he is still at the baby house outside the city, so he at least is away from the action, and D and I can enjoy seeing a presidential summit up close.

Some of us here have been trying to unravel the intricacies of Russian/Kazakh relationships. Olga and Dinara tell us everyone gets along, but they are young, and we wonder if there must be some animosity, considering Russia took over this area in the 1700s and eventually ended the Kazakh nomadic way of life. Now the Kazakhs are in charge, though there are obviously a lot of ethnic Russians still here, as well as several other ethnicities. Nazarbaev's government has stressed tolerance and unity, but I have a lot of questions, and I'm curious as to how much loyalty ethnic Russians feel to Russia, or if they are content to be Kazakhstani. It's a unique situation, and the only thing I can find comparable in American history would be if the Civil War had not occurred. If the South had seceded peacefully in 1861, how would a Yankee have felt to be living in a new country not of his choosing, even if everyone magically got along and the Confederacy welcomed him with open arms? (Think about that for a second.) I know when the USSR broke up, a lot of people moved back to wherever they were originally from, including some ethnic Russians. This came up about a week ago, when we were talking to Olga about bringing little A back to Ust for a visit. I said we would be happy for him to see where he is from, and should he wish to visit Ust, we would bring him here, but I also said he might be interested in seeing Russia, as he is ethnically Russian. Olga, who is also ethnically Russian, agreed that his family was from Russia at some point, then said, "But he is FROM Kazakhstan." So there you have it. She is ethnically Russian, she was born a citizen of the USSR, but she has grown up in Kazakhstan, and her loyalties lie here. I find that really interesting.